Did I make the wrong choice?

[Rosebel]

DS has been in nursery virtually full time since he was 2 (part time from 9 months). In the last few months he has become increasingly tired towards the end of the week and not really wanting to do much at the weekend.
We decided to cut nursery down to 2 days a week. Three weeks on I think it was a mistake. He has more energy and is happy at home but has become more distressed at nursery.
I am not sure if it's because his key worker has been on holiday or because there are new staff members but he spends a lot of time at the door pointing to the main door and is increasingly sensitive to being made to follow nursery rules eg wearing an apron for water play although that may be a sensory issue.
Bit of background incase it's relevant.
He is almost 4 and non verbal. He's never been violent but since the cut in hours staff have said he will occasionally lash out at them (thankfully not at children). He sometimes will join in with chasing games but generally prefers solitary play. He's also in nappies still.
Anyway I'm seriously considering removing him from nursery all together. We can afford (just about) for me to give up work but I'm torn. DH said wait until his key worker comes back from holiday as he does have a great relationship with her, I'm happy to do that but I hate hearing he's been sad or angry.
Should I pull him out all together or do you think that's why he's become more unsettled?

I think it's also natural given he's getting older and becoming more frustrated and his delays will become more apparent as his peers mature.

What help and support are you pursuing for his developmental issues? Are you seeking a diagnosis? What about plans as he heads towards starting school? Are you looking at mainstream and therefore 5 days a week of full time school?

Its a change in routine. So three weeks is unlikely to be enough time for the routine to settle. Also add in the change of his key worker being off and its quite a lot of unsettled changes which could likely be having an impact.

I'd personally not be making any major changes until you've had a chance to really see how it works longer term. Set a period of time thats reasonable and reconsider then to see if things have improved.

Also consider he was in 5 days and now 2? Thats quite a dramatic cut. Why such a change and not reduce to 4? Or even 3? How are the days split? Are they together or apart? What are you doing at home? Is it worth communicating with nursery to try and keep some of their routine at home so nursery isn't as much of a shock? Talk about nursery at home.

Also consider the wider long term impact of taking him out altogether. Are you planning to home educate? How will you not working impact you and family life longer term?

Before making a rash decision, take the time to see how it works out.

If he is non verbal and four years old I would say he is probably becoming frustrated and lashing out. Children that he probably played with are now conversing with each other and playing together and his communication skills are hindering his ability to play with them. Have you seeked a speech and language therapist? It's unusual for a four year old to have no language. Does he make sounds, point, babble? I would leave him and try and work with the nursery to address his speech and language x

Our two local schools have both suggested an enhanced transition so it's unlikely to be 5 full days. We're waiting for his EHCP to come through although I don't think the will happen by September unfortunately.
Speech and language have turned us down as they think he's autistic so paediatric doctor has put us on the waiting list but it's taking a long time (I know the waiting times are not good).
I've tried to keep a similar routine with meals and garden time but obviously it's not quite the same.
We cut his hours down so much on nursery advice so he does two long days Monday and Tuesday. As I said he does have more energy and seems happier.
We have to give 8 weeks notice to change his hours so it probably won't be worth changing again.

Seems no matter what I do it's not the right choice.

Are you in London? Could you find a half day nanny and just keep him doing mornings. That way there’s more routine.

Not in London and I think the cost of a nanny would be too much. It also does take him a while to warm to people.

I wouldn’t change anything yet till his keyworker is back. It may be that he is really missing having her there.