Nappy changing

[Worried8263839]

My DS is 2 and currently in a room in nursery that he loves, with all staff in this room being female. He is due to move soon to another room and there is a male worker. I appreciate that this might be a controversial topic but it doesn't and hasn't ever sat well with me that a male would choose to work in this setting. My views on this are likely to be influenced by the job that I do as I work with men that have been convicted of sexual offences.

My main concern is with nappy changing, and whether anyone knows from their own experience, whether males are permitted to change nappies of children? this is, of course something that I can ask the nursery directly, but I'm very conscious of this causing offence. I'd be interested to hear peoples thoughts on this before I approach this conversation to see if I am being unreasonable.

DD had a male lead teacher in her 2s classroom who was amazing. I don’t think he did much of the changing, because that typically fell to the assistant teachers, but I wouldn’t have had an issue with it. The changing station was in the classroom, as was a small toilet with a half height wall so it was all in the open and there would never have been just 1 teacher left with the kids because of ratios.

Do you know what the set up is in the new class?

There are cases of female nursery workers behaving badly op...

My DS always had a male (or two) nursery workers in the three years he was at nursery. Nappy changes generally happened in the communal room. I had no issue with whoever was changing it; the male staff were all great and I liked that my DS had male role models from a young age.

I think to object to men changing nappies is unreasonable.the nursery will have safeguarding policies including hiring, ongoing KCSIE training and a changing policy, all of which you should be able to access or ask for and which will lay out what happens when.

You need to move nursery if you're not content with the care this male will be providing to your child. His role is the same as that of his female coworkers and therefore he will be doing the same level of care. If that bothers you then you need to move because expecting him to not care for your child is not the solution to this perceived problem.

He will have a DBS certificate.
He is likely working there because he enjoys working with children not for any underlying sexual gratification.
Unless he's changing your sons nappy with his mouth, I'm sure it will be fine

Oh I typed a whole message and lost it. To summarise - does your nursery have a robust mobile phone policy for staff and any other adults on the premises, including parents? Are you confident in their whistleblowing policy? Do they maintain ratios at all times? Is the changing area (and maybe potty/toilet area) in view of other members of staff? If so, I would (gently) suggest your work is colouring your opinion here. If not, you have bigger issues than a man being employed.

I think it’s natural that your work makes you question things more, but it is also a fairly damning indictment of your trust in the nursery.

Yabu and sexist.

We fight for equality... but only on our terms I guess?!

I think you are being unreasonable. A friend’s young son worked at a nursery and because of a comment raised by a parent exactly the same as yours he resigned. Yes he loved his job, was studying as well and the parents loved him he said he was not going to put up with this issue being raised every year by new parents as though he was a molester. He has gone into a very different career. It didn’t help that a male teacher relative said it doesn’t get any better in schools.

Of course male employees are permitted to change nappies of children if that is within their role.
In most nurseries, generally the changing area or toilets are in view of the room so all staff could see over the half height doors or be present in the room for nappy changes- ours certainly is.

All members of staff will be DBS checked and have safeguarding training including whistleblowing. I know this isn't foolproof but it is highly unlikely that a male has come into childcare for that reason- I think your work has made you hyperaware of this. You could say the same about male staff working in a children's hospital etc.

If you really feel the need, then ask the nursery their procedure for nappy changes/toileting but in general terms, so as not to cause offence- don't ask for their policy on males changing nappies!!

Gosh, women have fought tooth and nail for equality but can’t imagine why a man would want to work in a female dominated career 🤷🏼‍♀️. I think it’s fantastic that more men are entering the early years work force, it’s a breath of fresh air and something that is very much needed.

if you already aren’t comfortable then I would move your son rather than look at a poor bloke with distrust.

Oh get a grip

And of course men are able to change nappies if they have had a dbs check, the same as women. Of course you can ask for it to be females only but they’ll think you’re an utter twat

I for one understand where you're coming from OP. Yes there are instances of sex offences being committed by women but if you compare the stats of (biological) men and (biological) women sex offenders, it is overwhelmingly an offence committed by men.

With that said, the nursery should have done DBS checks and have safeguarding policies and procedures in place. Just because it is an offence committed by (largely) men, doesnt mean all men will. It is almost certainly fine.

It isn't fair or right to discriminate - but I can still understand your concern / hesitancy.

My children's nursery had strict rules about nappy changes where the changing areas are open plan so that the worker can always be seen.

It's fair enough to ask about practices but not fair enough to assume a male who chooses to work in a nursery must be a predator.

My son had a man in his nursery room, I thought it was a good thing. He did nappy changes like everyone else.

My husband is a childminder with me. If anyone questions who changes nappies we ask them to leave.

I can understand with your job you have some concerns, but these are yours and nothing to do with most of the fantastic men who work in childcare.

Because of previous ( female ) pedophiles rules have changed and tightened to make sure that changing is done in an open forum often in twos and strictly no phones

Jimmy saville would have had a clean DBS if they had existed

You can ask awkward questions , you can ask for female only changers, you can leave and go to another nursery and end up with a female pedophile there?

Maybe time to change jobs as it's not healthy for you ?

Of course we're allowed to change nappies. It's part of childcare. I suggest you take your child out of this nursery and...well...I don't care really, just so long as you leave the poor guy alone to do his job.

20 years ago I worked in a crèche and we had one lovely male staff member who was on the receiving end of exactly these sort of comments. It saddens me that nothing has changed.

And incidentally even then of course he did nappy changes. I would have hugely objected if he didn't have to do nappy changes while all us female staff did. It wasn't exactly the highlight of my day!

Gosh OP, I'm sure the nursery would be really sad to lose you as a client.
Take your child back to the 1950s where he can safely have a middle aged (however not disclosure checked) nanny instead.
🙄

Of course he’s allowed to change nappies!

It's odd that you think male staff might not be allowed to change nappies. Of course they are.

And there is no good reason why a man couldn't enjoy working with young children in the same way a woman might.

Your son is 2, I expect he will be potty training soon ? so will not be in nappies much longer.

rather than focusing on the sex/gender of the staff, you should be more interested in how qualified they all are i.e. how many apprentices - are they allowed to change nappies, how many bank staff - are they qualified ? and are they allowed to change nappies.