First day of nursery advice

[anne246]

My daughter is starting nursery in a couple of weeks. Looking for some advice on how to leave her on her first day. Would you sneak out the room while their distracted or would you say goodbye and let them know your leaving?

Sneak out the room? Is that so you don't get to see her distress when she realises you're gone?

Always say goodbye! You are only storing up separation anxiety issues if you don't.

Point out a few things you can see that she'd love to do, then give her a hug, say goodbye and say you'll be back at lunchtime (or whenever) to hear all about it. DD didn't look back!

How old? My sons nurseries had settling in sessions where you went in with them for the first couple days then left for an hour and came back but mine were babies.

Don't sneak out as it will cause them more anxiety always say goodbye and let them see you leave

Definitely don't sneak out. You'll probably have a couple of settling-in sessions where you stay for at least some of the time. When you do leave, tell her when you'll be back, and a piece of advice I was given which really worked for my DS is to tell her about something you're going to do together later, to help her grasp that you're definitely coming back for her. Try to leave without too much fuss though.

Don't sneak out!
But say a quick goodbye - the longer you stay the longer the potential crying lasts..

Do you have a few settling in sessions?

Yea even if mine are heading for the toys I always make sure they know I am going as otherwise they realise later.

She's two. Yes, the nursery said they normally do two settling in sessions but we can have more if we think more is needed. Thank you all for advice. She does have a good understanding and i like the idea of telling her what we're going to do together after nursery.

Speak to nursery. Any decent nursery will have a settling in policy

Don't sneak out always say goodbye even if that triggers some crying. Its much worse when they look around and realise you are gone and don't know if they are lost from you, it can make them panic a bit especially at two when the attachment is strong despite them wanting to be independent!

Definitely say goodbye. They will be experienced in helping the little ones settle in.

We usually tell our parents to give a positive goodbye. Tell you're going to do something they find boring while they play and you'll be back soon and then you can go to the park (or whatever they enjoy with you).

I have just been through this!!
I would get baby settled doing something and introduce them to a staff member, once they are playing with staff memeber say 'by bye my darling mummy is coming back later' wave and then go.

You will probably both cry a lot but it gets better each day as they get used to it

Prepare her ahead of time by explaining what will happen, use examples from real life and/or TV show she's likes (Peppa Pig and George go to nursery, so Bluey and Bingo for example).

Say goodbye but do it quickly and matter of fact and the leave. Don't do a prolonged emotional goodbye.

Ask the nursery what their advice/policy is when you go for the settling in sessions.
I've literally done this with my 2 year old.
In her nursery on the first day (we had done 1 hour two weeks before with me in the room and she was playing with the toys while I chatted to staff (in fact I ended up cuddling/holding a much younger child who seemed to think I was his Mum! ) the next 1 hour session she was collected from me in the foyer by her key person.
A quick, happy & confident (me) goodbye.
When collecting I get buzzed into her room.

Be quick, and relaxed would be my advice. I always have a quick friendly chat with her key-person, lots of smiling and being pleased to see the key person.
Then the handover, a kiss goodbye, see you later and walk, don't run out of the door.

I’ve just done this for the second time. Sneak out. They have no concept of time and it will be less distressing. A goodbye and tearing apart of arms is a recipe for crying and distress.

Do not sneak out. Or do if you don't want your DD to learn it's ok to separate and not building her independence and want to create separation anxiety issues.