Would you continue sending your child to nursery if they didn't eat?!

[Kerri28]

hello. DD is almost 7 months old and a fussy feeder. She is slowly being weaned but is completely bottle fed, taking around 28oz of formula per day.

She has a milk allergy so any weaning food has to be carefully prepared.

She goes to nursery one day per week from 9-5(I work 3 days) the other 2 days grandparents care for her.

Getting her to drink her bottle is often a 30minute process involving many refusals from dd before she realises that she does want the bottle whereon she will drink the lot!

However at nursery for the past 2 times, she has drank NOTHING. she would normally drink 14-16oz during the time she would be with me/grandparents. She eats purees with them, but not much, and i cant help thinking that maybe it's out of desperation because she's not getting anything else...

I am going to have another chat with the nursery tomorrow to see wht can be done, but I had told them all my techniques and they still say they are "frustrated" but can't make dd drink at all.

She comes home starving and I end up feeding her in the night (something we had stopped over 4 months ago).

So, what would you do? Would you stop sending dd there if they can't manage to feed her - or would you persevere?

dd is already a small child, about the 35/40th centile, and hv keeping eye on her weight. Any advice greatfully received

gratefully

We had this problem with a child at our nursery & were at our wits end thinking she would dehydrate. But we chatted to the HV & the mum & sorted out a plan. She said,although not ideal, as long as the babe was getting a good long drink morning & evening of breast or bottle milk then the rest of the day was a bonus. (think 2 x 10 oz bottles leaving only 8 ozs to be got down her during daytime) She suggested as you are doing now making a fairly liquid puree using some of the childs bottled milk to mash the veg/fruit in two or three small portions increasing in size as the babe grew & could take more. It worked a treat- we still offered boiled water (which she learnt to drink from a cup really quickly) & we got at least 8 oz of extra milk down her in the food. With the pressure off all of us (mum included) we stopped worrying & soon she was on 2/3 meals a day & taking less milk. Important to be consistant in your routine with her so stopping nursery (unless you are unhappy with how they respond to this) might not be the solution.

Can I just ask, do nursery not manage to get any milk or solids in to her at all? And when she is being looked after by her grandparents you say she takes some solids but what about the milk, do they struggle too? Also how long has DD been at nursery for?

oh there you go, bossy much more helpful than me

When ds started going to creche he didn't eat anything, took several weeks for him to settle to the extent that he would eat. The staff were great, pretty relaxed about it, if he didn't want it that was fine by them. I think if the staff get frustrated that will just rub off on your dd. Ds started accepting the snacks first and these days if he is in a huff or poorly then he is more likely to eat for them than at home!

thanks guys, I think i'm just worried because of the (even more) sleepless night after nursery and the fact that her weight has always been an issue anyway...

bossy, very good idea re purees and formula, will suggest that to nursery tomorrow in meting. The problem would be getting anywhere like 10oz into her in the morning.
She is notoriously difficult to feed, but me, dh and both sets of grandparents manage it no problem. I wouldn't mind if nursery got something down her, maybe 4oz at each feed instead of 7, but we feed in in the morning between 6 and 7am and then at night between 6 and 7am and throughout rest of day she eats one or two small pots of pureed fruit (no savoury either ) and nothing else

Just doesnt seem right, but maybe its usual behaviour - too excited to drink cos there's playing to be done?

Noo forkhandles I was going to ask about the grandparents too but took so blardy long to type that saga I thoguht I'd stop there!!!!

And I am reluctant to change nurseries because she seems to really njoy it there and gets visibly excited on her way in, which (i hope) she wouldn't do if she was distressed whilst there.

They should really be trying a starchy savoury first (mashed pots /swede/bn squash /sweet potato etc) & then a pudding of fruit after if she can manage it. Our HV's advise that as the sweet taste buds develop first its easy to get in the habit of always having fruit then its difficult to introduce savoury.

If she' snot sleeping as well maybe try a small portion of something starchy at night last thing & less milk. Complex carbs help keep them asleep.

Trouble with fussy feeders you get to the chicken & egg situation- they fill up on milk & so won't eat then you give them milk to ensure they have SOMETHING which takes the edge of their hunger so solids aren't appealing.

I take heart from an article I read years ago that said very very few children will voluntarily starve themselves!

bossybritches - i hope she won't starve herself! My midwife once told me that babies do not starve to death quietly when i wondered whether i should wake my baby for a night feed

I think I ned to have a chat with the nursery again, I am just worried about coming across as mother of PFB when I'm really not like that normally! They've done a couple of other things which made me go too, like put dd on her back to sleep (when she has since birth been a tummy sleeper due to reflux) and insist that she didn't cry herself to sleep....so am now wondering whether she cries a lot there, gets filled up with wind and thats why she won't sleep....definitely time for a chat me thinks. Thank you all.