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Original poster

One year old unsettled

12 replies

MrsPat22 · 30/01/2024 13:43

Hi,

My 1 year old DD has just started her settling in days at nursery.

Day 1 she was happily playing, mostly independently and only checked a couple of times if I was there. This first session, I stay the whole time in the room.

Day 2 and she's woken early so she's tired for her settling in session (these are an hour long). Today I am supposed to stay 45 mins and leave her for 15 mins. She was unhappy from the moment we got there. She was clingy and cried, mostly because I think she was feeling tired and overwhelmed. Today there were a lot more children and staff in. When I left she was initially ok, and then I could hear her crying really loudly.

Upon the end of the session I was told they'll see how she does in the rest of her settling in session and then discuss a plan if they don't think she's ready to start.

Not sure what other options there are yet, but wondered if anyone else has been in this scenario. I am really worried. This is after 2 settling in sessions, these sessions don't even cover trying to feed, change or get her to sleep.

Arhhhh! Do I'm in limbo about when I go back to work and if I need to find an alternative childcare.... HELP!

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Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/01/2024 13:46

Thats very odd to be having you stay with her for so long over multiple sessions.

In all honesty it takes regular sessions for most kids to settle at nursery. I would ask how many more settling in sessions and how many without you there.

Sunshineclouds11 · 30/01/2024 13:49

I never stayed for settling in sessions I think it adds alot more stress for the child tbh.
How many more settling sessions does she have?

We had 2 weeks of them and gradually added more time onto his day.
But even then, it still took him weeks to fully settle.

Original poster
MrsPat22 · 30/01/2024 13:53

They have 5 1 hour settling sessions, so we go in every day.

Each day I stay less and less time in the room with her.

With my older DS we only had 2 settling in sessions and then it was just let's go. But we moved and so have a new nursery.

OP posts:
Gabby10 · 30/01/2024 13:57

This sounds a similar plan to when my DD started her settling in. Day 2 was pretty similar to yours in that DD was really upset when I left. On day 3 it was decided to try me just dropping her off and leaving the room- she cried for about 2 mins then was fine. I understand why they want parent to stay in the room but I do think it makes it harder for the child x

Original poster
MrsPat22 · 30/01/2024 13:57

That five 1 hour sessions

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPat22 · 30/01/2024 14:01

Thank you, that makes me feel hopeful. My head's a little all over the place, as I'm surprised to be told this after 2 sessions. Especially as she was super happy in the first one. I will need to ask them what they mean by plans as I can't hold work off forever 😩

OP posts:
NewYearNewName2024 · 30/01/2024 14:02

@MrsPat22 not sure if it helps, but we've just finished settling in sessions for our 7mo. She'll go full days twice a week from feb, so during jan we did 1 hour for 2 weeks. 1.5 hour for week 3 then 2 hours for week 4. We mixed up what time of day to ensure she had a nap, bottle, breakfast, lunch etc across them all and we didn't stay for any of them.

Apparently she's been absolutely fine! Might be easier as she's younger but hopefully your little one will be settled soon.

howaboutapartysong · 30/01/2024 14:04

MrsPat22 · 30/01/2024 13:53

They have 5 1 hour settling sessions, so we go in every day.

Each day I stay less and less time in the room with her.

With my older DS we only had 2 settling in sessions and then it was just let's go. But we moved and so have a new nursery.

1 hour is not enough.

It should be

First day:
30 mins with you there

Second day:
1 hour alone

Third day:
Half a day/4 hours alone

Fourth day:
Full day alone

Original poster
MrsPat22 · 30/01/2024 14:04

Thank you. With my DS even though he was distraught to start off with, the nursery left me reassured. This time I'm left really worried. My own fault for not clarifying what they meant by "make alternative plans" and going home and worrying about it.

OP posts:
Gabby10 · 30/01/2024 14:08

Is that all they offer as settling in sessions? I know my DD had 4 but PP has actually just made me remember that they did increase how long they were for. I would also imagine that the 'next steps' if not settled is just more settling in sessions xx

Original poster
MrsPat22 · 30/01/2024 14:11

Yep, they do standard 1 hour sessions and that's it. I think your right, more settling in sessions will probably be what they want, but I think they will need them to be structured differently. She needs time to properly get to know her key worker.

OP posts:
westvalleystreet · 31/01/2024 09:06

MrsPat22 · 30/01/2024 14:11

Yep, they do standard 1 hour sessions and that's it. I think your right, more settling in sessions will probably be what they want, but I think they will need them to be structured differently. She needs time to properly get to know her key worker.

I would find 1 hour to be completely unsettling myself as a 38 year old. So odd they do it this way, there's no time to relax into it all

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