Baby not drinking milk at nursery

[WorriedMum1348]

Hi everyone, I hope someone can give me some advice. My baby is 8 months old, I breastfed exclusively for 6 months and she started solids then. I kept breastfeeding/pumping - when she started going to daycare at 6 months. She always preferred breastfeeding rather than taking a bottle. But when she was hungry she would always drink from the bottle. But she's always had a problem at the daycare drinking from the bottle, not sure if she doesn't like how they gave it to her or something. I know at this stage she's still meant to get most of her calories from breastmilk even though we started solids. But for the last week, she hasn't been drinking any of the milk at the daycare. One thing is they only offer it to her twice, with lunch and afternoon snack. And lately they've started giving her some yoghurt instead when she doesnt drink (the doctor said to do this) but now I feel like they just can't be bothered giving her the bottle and give her yoghurt because they think it's easier. I breastfeed in the morning and when she gets home from the daycare and before she goes to bed along with dinner, but I'm just worried she's not getting any breastmilk during a big chunk of her day. And then she keeps wanting to drink during the night so she keeps waking. It's not like she's eating a lot of her solid food either and last time we weighed her she had lost weight. Though she has also been sick so that hasn't helped. The people at the daycare have n9w started saying I should stop bringing the milk and they can just give yoghurt but I don't think that's right. I just feel terrible and upset with the daycare, and hoping my baby is not starving during the day :(( not sure what else to do but keep telling them they need to give her the milk, but if they keep telling me she doesnt drink it and I'm not there to see what's wrong, I dont know what to do.

Have you tried giving her milk in a sippy cup? Maybe she’d prefer that to a bottle.

I would remind them that you are her parent and they should be trying to follow your routine/ guidance as close as possible. Does she use a bottle at home or at any other point?

And yes at this age milk is still important

Mine started nursery at 9 months, was formula fed so no issues with the bottle, and he also just refused it there. He was the youngest there, he really likes his food and he saw the older babies having their mid morning and mid afternoon snacks (the times he would have had his bottles) and apparently just wanted what they were having! So I figured it was more important he was happy and not hungry so we gave up pushing it, because it’s not like you can actually make them drink. He had a bottle of formula morning and evening, vitamin drops in his morning yoghurt and then 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. And he’s now a happy, healthy almost 3YO so it did him no harm whatsoever.

I would be concerned about the fact she’s losing weight though. If she’s not drinking her calories she needs to be eating them. What are the meals like? Will she eat? Can you send food from home that you know she likes and will fill her up?

When her grandparents look after her she takes the bottle - she fusses at first a little bit. They don't force it but if they just wait for 5-10 mins and then try again she drinks from the bottle no problem.

Thanks for all your replies. We have another doctor's appointment in 2 weeks, she will be weighed etc then so hopefully she will have gained some weight - if not then we really need to do something.

Sippy cup might be an idea, will give it a try.

And unfortunately they don't allow us to bring food from home. I might end up looking for a different daycare if this continues. I know that as they eat more solids of course they will slowly start having less milk but I would assume not so suddenly.

GPs is presumably a quieter, calmer environment so makes sense she might be happy to take a bottle there but not at daycare. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask them to try a few times but that’s really the limit of what they can do. Have you spoken properly to the daycare about it? Not just about the milk but what solids are they offering her, how much is she eating and what alternatives are offered if she doesn’t like it because it should be obvious she can’t go through the day on yoghurt. If outside food isn’t allowed then obviously dependent on what they have and what she’ll eat but could she be offered things like extra cereal, toast or fruit?

It is very very common in childcare setting for young babies to refuse milk. What realistically do you expect them to do? Sounds like they’re just doing what they can to get her to eat something

Hi
I know this is very worrying at the moment but try not to worry too much.

I had a milk refuser. She breastfed happily until 8 months and then stopped and refused to drink milk in any other form no formula, no standard milk, ( not even chocolate milk) - would not take a bottle, refused a sippy cup if it had milk in it ... not for us and not for nursery either. She was a terrible eater at nursery - liked breakfast but generally refused lunch.

Additionally it was very stressful because DD was severely underweight and we were at the paediatric growth clinic every 3 months until she was almost 4.

So we focussed on getting dairy products into her that she would eat

• she liked yogurt and ate a lot of that
• she loved baby porridge so we made it with formula instead of water
• she loved cheese
• she loved cheese sauces
• we often added knobs of butter to cooking, mashed potatoes etc

25 years later we all wonder what we worried about - but at the time it was stressful

Our son has always refuses the bottle at nursery and been happy with it at home. I know they tried everything in the book but he just never ever was happy to take it. He started at 8 months and quickly ate yogurt and fruit, then started having more and more. We would be sure to give him a bottle right before and right after, but for whatever reason, he just would not take it at nursery (also happy to take the bottle at home from a nursery babysitter, so who knows!). If you are otherwise happy with them (and your child is), then i wouldn't recommend changing. But you do need to trust the place that cares for your child.

This was meant to be a reply to someone Nurseries should be doing whatever you ask them to do. Meaning, this baby, for their health, needs the bottle. So they should continue trying until the baby accepts the bottle. Not just give up and shove yoghurt in their face. Nurseries get paid enough, they can actually try sometimes. Having a go at Op and defending the nursery's behaviour when her child has lost weight due to their incompetence and laziness is not remotely okay. If a child needed to take insulin everyday for their diabetes but didn't like it, they wouldn't just give up because they couldn't be bothered.

@AimeeBern this thread was posted last December so the baby is now 15 months old and I doubt milk-refusing at nursery is still a problem!

Yes I'm sure that's true but for other people reading the thread, who are having the same problem, it was important to point out that Nurseries work for you, not the other way around, and are required to do whatever it necessary to make sure your child's health needs are met - which includes working hard to help the baby accept a bottle and not just giving up because it's easier for them.