Nursery thinks my child is SEN

[Mummymummama]

So after picking up my son today the deputy manager of his nursery runs after me with an SEN form and says that they are concerned about my 27 month old because he only plays with play dough and runs around the classroom. My child has good eye contact but has limited speech but good understanding. We saw a speech therapist but
she felt that we should give him time. I am planning to look for alternative nurseries as I felt that the nursery is labelling my son at such a young age. Am I being unreasonable?

Please don't say high functioning.

Also understanding language and having speech apraxia are 2 completely separate components of communication. You can be non verbal your entire life and understand what every one says around you.

Being autistic doesn't mean you have a lower understanding of the world or a lesser capacity for learning.

Being autistic does impact how you process the world around you and can mean you have a different learning style and can have comorbidities with learning disabilities.

It can also mean having fluctuating support needs throughout your entire life which is why we stay away from terms like high functioning and low functioning.

We recognise the support needs instead, because they might be high or low throughout someone's life but autism often comes with a spiky development profile which means these needs can change.

High functioning is an external observation that from what you perceive this person is functioning to a high level but they might also be burning themselves out to stay high functioning, which means they aren't able to function very well for much longer and eventually end up with higher support needs.

Sorry about that @Jimmyneutronsforehead it was not intending to cause upset I’ll ask to delete it

Ok worst case he gets assessed and found to have zero needs and you move on
Best case he gets assessed and it speeds up the salt process and maybe other support he might need
Labelling SEN at nursery will not go with him for life if he turns out to have no needs
But if he does have needs he can get support

@Quitelikeit I appreciate you apologising, don't often find that sort of maturity on mumsnet. Genuinely really grateful that you've responded.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead I use the term high-functioning autism to describe myself. I figure I get to choose the language that works for me, and this phrase has always seemed right. I understand some people's problems with it, but there's no rule saying it can't be used at all.

@Seaside1234 call yourself what you want, but it's not something you should call other autistics. I don't call myself high functioning because I can't function highly unless my support needs are met, although I have fewer support needs than my son who is incredibly bright and smart and intuitive and creative, but just couldn't speak at all until 6 months ago but is still not communicative. If I called him high functioning it would be a disservice to him and not at all respectful of his struggles even though on the playground at a glance you'd not see any difference in him to other kids laughing and shouting and screaming and chasing and playing.

So what you choose to call yourself is entirely your prerogative. Lots of us would find it really disrespectful but your own personal boundaries are your own personal boundaries.

Early intervention if he has SEN is essential should he need support later so YABU to look on this as a label and a bad thing.

Autism doesn't just mean lack of eye contact and delayed speech. Both my DGDs have ASD and their speech developed normally and they can make eye contact.

They handled it poorly though and should have had a conversation with you rather than just a rushed request to fill out a form. Moving him if he is happy there could be unsettling for him particularly if he is autistic.

The way it was handled was very insensitive and I think you're absolutely within your rights to complain about that. That should not have been the approach. They should have asked you in for a meeting and sat down and raised their concerns.

However, YABU to want to look for another nursery just because they've raised the subject of your child being behind in certain areas. If your child has some learning needs, then it's helpful to identify this and come up with strategies to support your child. It's not about labelling them, it's about providing support they need. I say this as a parent of a child with two different SEND diagnosis. No good ever comes from sticking your head in the sand.

Completely agree with all of that. And definitely that we shouldn't choose other people's language for them, or put our own descriptors on them.