Nursery thinks my child is SEN

[Mummymummama]

So after picking up my son today the deputy manager of his nursery runs after me with an SEN form and says that they are concerned about my 27 month old because he only plays with play dough and runs around the classroom. My child has good eye contact but has limited speech but good understanding. We saw a speech therapist but
she felt that we should give him time. I am planning to look for alternative nurseries as I felt that the nursery is labelling my son at such a young age. Am I being unreasonable?

Thank you. I think I was taken aback because I was a nursery teacher for over 15 years and would not dream of telling a parent this without doing ABC chart assessments, plans…followed by a professional meeting.

i wish i had listened to my dd nursery;
just listen to them - let them make the referral
they were pretty tactless but its for good

The nursery manager has about 25 years of experience and the nursery has a good rating. My son is always happy to go in but I simply can’t imagine him playing only with play dough when he is the opposite at home.

I stopped attending after he had a meltdown at tidy up time and refused to sit down. On reflection, I think there may be subtle signs of something that I can’t put my finger on as he doesn’t do well with transitions.

SEN stands for Special Educational Needs. That doesn't necessarily mean something bad.

Both my dc's are SEN and have genius IQ's and dd skipped multiple grades and is finishing up a second degree at Uni. I had to fight tooth and nail and pay for many private assessments before I could get the schools to acknowledge my dc's Special Educational Needs (DS has medical and processing issues and DD has dyslexia and dyscalculia and anxiety, as a result of the first two). If the nursery is flagging this, take them up on it. If your ds needs extra support, then this has enabled you to shortcut the battle/line to get that and if he doesn't need the extra support, then they will determine that and he won't get it. But please don't put energy into being offended....that's about you and not really helpful to your child.
Without more details, it's hard to ascertain if their approach was inappropriate, but really, speaking from experience, you should just embrace the process.

It's just a form, there's a huge pathway for diagnosis for autism, and lots of professionals involved.

If it turns out your child doesn't have autism, happy days, hallelujah.

But if it turns out your child does have autism, the earlier it's recognised, and the earlier you're offered intervention then the less developmentally behind their peers they are likely to fall and their sensory needs will be understood and met - in theory.

I regards to speech and language, they should be working with nursery and offering them advice and techniques to use to help like intensive interaction with regular early help meetings so you can all discuss his progress, what works, what doesn't and what else needs to be introduced in terms of goals, whether there's a SEN pathway or not.

Regardless of autism diagnosis or not it sounds like they're concerned about some degree of global developmental delay, and they're right to approach you about this. If they did not do this, it would be neglect.

I don't think there's any reason to be mad at them for doing their job. And I don't think you've anything to lose by allowing them to start the pathway for diagnosis, as he will only be diagnosed if he actually meets all the criteria after assessment.

Sorry it’s an permission form to place
my son in the SEN register

@Mummymummama the fact he is having Speech and Language therapy will make him eligible to be on the SEN register alone.

It wasn't unusual for lots of year 7s who moved up to my school to be removed from the SEN register (with parental permission) as they were no longer under Speech and Language or other therapies they needed as younger children as they had overcome the challenges they had previously that put them on it.

They won't find what isn't there. Any help offered will benefit your child. If he does have SEN and you don't act then you risk losing precious time. Don't be daft OP, sign the form and ask for next steps.

Your son has SEN so it makes sense to put him on the SEN register. What's the problem?

Handled badly, that should really have been a scheduled meeting or an invite to pop in on collection to discuss their concerns.
However, the practitioners will be seeing traits that mean your child needs extra support- this is not an insult or a label.
Accept the help for your child’s benefit.
It is worth arranging a proper meeting and going through their reasons for this and it may be good time to point out that you thought it was dealt with in the wrong way and that you would’ve preferred a discussion rather than being faced with a form with no prior warning.

Is it the form that allows them to contact you and support teams regarding any SENd investigations? For example, it allows them to discuss your child's progress at nursery with the SALT team? Nursery staff aren't allowed to contact these teams without parent permission even in the most obvious cases of SEN.

Yes it is. It is a permission form to put him on the SEN register

If you don't agree then don't sign it.

Mistakes are often made by nurseries because the children are so young. This is why specialists are reluctant to diagnose at a young age.

Children often present with underlying issues even at YrR stage or more but then often bloom.

Those LEA SEN forms are quite intimidating, but they are a path towards extra support if needed, for example his nursery keyworker spending 1-1 time with your son on speech and social interaction. Early intervention is important.

It's part of a nursery's job to highlight Sen concerns. But it sounds like they did it badly.

The way they told you was inexcusable and inappropriate, but given they see hundreds of DC over the years, they may have a point.

When you've got over the initial shock and anger at their approach, make an appointment to see the SendCo and your DC key worker to go through everything properly.

Is my 3 year old SEN?

At my DS’s 2 year assessment we were told by the HV that his speech was a little further behind than than they would have expected. We had noticed it had slowed down after a room change at nursery and had mentioned to the team who had been quite relaxed about it. Ever since there has been a collective effort to work on DS‘s speech and it has quickly improved and continues to every day. He is just about to move into preschool and tonight whilst talking to his new key worker she made a casual comment about having worked with SEN children before. Nobody has mentioned that to us before and when I pressed her, she was vague as to whether that’s what they think is going on with my DS. I feel incredibly stressed at the unknown. I’m not at all worried about him being SEN but I would like to know! He is a v lively, sociable boy who can sing full nursery rhymes, count well and certainly knows what he wants. He also has a massive vocab but we are probably only on about 45/50% understanding of what he says. Am I being paranoid? Any comments on early signs you saw would be so appreciated. Many thanks!

Children respond differently in different settings ..

I agree ask for a meeting .You need to understand how he is behaving at nursery .

You 3yo isn't SEN, he is your your wonderful son, that's what he will alway be. The nursery may think he has SEN, and you should definitely talk to them about what those needs are and what's being done to meet them. Whatever extra help he needs though, that will never define what he is.

Thank you. I was typing in a rush (and am new to this platform!) so meant “has” not is but I take the point!

It would be better if you copied your words and pasted them into a new message.

That way, you'll get answers to your question.

As it is, people will respond to the original message on this thread and you are likely to be overlooked.

The fact he understands what is being said is an enormous plus. He will learn to talk eventually. Even if he was on the spectrum at least he is high functioning

Thank you for responses. Not sure how to delete my original post.
I didn’t want to hijack the original post so sorry about that!

Thank you. I have already done so, I just couldn’t work out how to delete this! I didn’t want to hijack the original post so sorry about that!