Baby hates nursery

[CourtTob]

Hi,

Just looking for some words of comfort, my 6 month old is starting day nursery this week and he had his first settling in session today and absolutely hated it, he cried pretty much the whole time and refused to take a bottle or eat. He was completely fine as soon as I picked him up and brought him home. I think the new environment may have been too chaotic and overwhelming for him.

Is it normal for babies to hate nursery and to go on hunger strike? Is there anything I can do to make the transition easier? Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you

It's normal I'm afraid (at least in our experience), you just have to stick it out a while.

How many days a week and how many hours a day is your dc doing? I found more days but fewer hours per day was the best for settling, but obviously least practical for work

Absolutely normal.

My son started at 9 months and we were told that they pretty much go on a food, milk or sleep strike. It was sleep for ours!

He would get upset for the first week or so, but we did loud happy voices, lots of “we will see you later” and then a big fuss of what a lovely day he had when we picked him up.

A couple of weeks on, he was then crying when he had to go home 🤣

My ds had 1 outdoor settling in session (Covid) and he cried for me for ages. But his first proper day without me, he absolutely loved it. I think our being there unsettles them a bit

Ps my dd not only went on hunger strike, she went on nap strike!! Stopped napping in the day whenever she went to nursery...starting from 9 months old. Omg, the stress.

She eventually started eating there and now eats amazingly there (age 3), she has curries and stews and all sorts of adventurous foods. But she must have napped there about five times a year. Her key worker had been working in the baby room there for 15 years and said she'd never quite seen any baby so bad at napping!

He will only be doing one full day a week until I’m back at work properly early next year which it will then increase to 3 full days, it was just so upsetting to see him so miserable! I wish we could do more days right now but unfortunately that isn’t possible at the moment.

i will try the loud happy voice and see if that makes a difference! Hopefully he’ll adjust sooner rather than later.

They might not have the availability but if it's possible to switch to two half days a week, that might make settling easier!

That’s a good idea, thank you! I will see how he gets on for the next couple weeks and if no improvement I will look at switch to 2 half days.

Weirdly it’s nice to hear that other people have had the same experience so it’s completely normal! I’ve been so upset all day thinking about it!

It is very common but 1 day a week for a young baby is always going to be a struggle. You will be settling in every week as they will forget. I would try and do more sessions a week until you go back to work. 2 mornings or afternoons a week or more if they have it.

He’ll soon love it. My son started at 9 months and he honestly smiled the whole time and absolutely loved it. He giggles when we arrive now. He really does have the best time and I’m sure your baby will be the same. Just has to get used to being away from you. My son didn’t care 😆 not sure how I should have taken that but try not to feel too guilty or anything. The key workers said the babies who cry usually stop as soon as their parents leave 😊

I would suggest two days are better than one though. One day would be too unsettling for most small babies.

100% normal. My little one started at 15 months and was the exact same but now has a great time and loves nursery. I agree with @OhhhhhhhhBiscuits though 1 day will be a struggle. A lot of nurseries near me refuse to take them 1 day for that reason. Even 2 half days would be better