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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Feel a bit down about her first day

14 replies

flowerpot258 · 16/10/2023 12:23

My daughter is 16 months. She had her first settling in day today so she was only in for 2 hours.

I dropped her off at the door and was told it's better not to come in. She was being clingy but she is quite clingy with me anyways. She was a little teary about going in which I know is normal.

45 mins before I was due to collect her they called me and said she's been inconsolable for about 20mins, can I collect her? No problem. I went straight there.

They said she was fine playing outside but when they came back inside she was crying etc I asked if she'd had lunch yet and they said no.... they give them lunch at 11:15-11.45. She was probably just hungry and a bit tired as she didn't have any snacks or lunch since breakfast.

Why wouldn't they try her with some food or a snack? Other kids were sitting getting lunch but they said they didn't try her with anything because she was being too clingy.

I've to take her in tomorrow afternoon for another 2 hours to settle in. I just feel like if a child is upset then you usually try all the usual things like check nappy, are they hungry, so they need a drink, is it nap time?

I'm just not sure how it's going to work or they are going to be phoning me up without even trying the basics to settle her

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Babyenroute · 16/10/2023 12:24

Snap, it's my son's first settling in today today as well except we didn't have to leave him, that's what we face tomorrow. No advice at the moment but solidarity, it's so hard.

Original poster

flowerpot258 · 16/10/2023 12:27

@Babyenroute good luck! I hope he settles okay without you

OP posts:

Mrsjayy · 16/10/2023 12:27

I know its hard but I can imagine they don't give snacks outside of snack time usually and they would have been trying to distract her, hopefully she will get used to going and she get used to the new routine.

Original poster

flowerpot258 · 16/10/2023 12:32

@Mrsjayy - I get that but it was lunchtime. Lunch is from 11:15-11:45 and they called me to collect her at 11:25.

I think if they had tried her with some lunch she might have been okay.

OP posts:

swishswashswoosh · 16/10/2023 12:40

Maybe they did try and give her lunch though, did you ask if they had tried? An inconsolable child isn't usually able to eat food in my experience. I would chalk it up to first day worries from your child and tomorrow is a new day. Remember they don't know your child yet, and vice versa, so they won't be able to just magically tell if this is the kind of behaviour for being hungry.

As pp say, they won't be handing snacks out when it isn't snack time, can you imagine the carnage of immediate requests from other children!

Sunshineclouds11 · 16/10/2023 12:45

Had they tried to give her lunch though? And she couldn't eat for being so upset?

It's her first day, it does take a couple of weeks to settle in if not longer.
They can't/won't give a snack out outside of snack time if a child is upset.

Mrsjayy · 16/10/2023 13:25

flowerpot258 · 16/10/2023 12:32

@Mrsjayy - I get that but it was lunchtime. Lunch is from 11:15-11:45 and they called me to collect her at 11:25.

I think if they had tried her with some lunch she might have been okay.

Ah okay maybe she was too upset for eating. Its hard for her and you , how many settiling in days does she have ?

Original poster

flowerpot258 · 16/10/2023 13:34

@Mrsjayy - she'll only have today and tomorrow then she's meant to be in for her full day after that.

I just don't know how it's going to work if she can't last 2 hours at nursery

OP posts:

Mrsjayy · 16/10/2023 13:45

I think you are going to have to ask them these questions tomorrow nobody can really tell you how they work things out.

Original poster

flowerpot258 · 16/10/2023 13:55

I yeah I will ask them. It just seems odd that they called me to collect her just because she was crying. Surely they are able to deal with that and have ways of calming them down

OP posts:

Mrsjayy · 16/10/2023 15:19

They don't want her frightened or put off that you are not coming back. I worked in childcare for 20odd years people are experienced but not miracle.workers that is why you have transition days although2 days doesn't seem a lot., every nursery will have its own policy for contacting parents or emergency contacts. Go in with questions tomorrow ask if you can go in with her.

Original poster

flowerpot258 · 16/10/2023 15:36

@Mrsjayy yeah I suppose you're right. I'm just not familiar or used to the whole
Nursery thing. My oldest daughter didn't go to private nursery, just the local council
Nursery when she was of age (I think it's about age 3?)
I'll have to get used to it myself too

OP posts:

Mrsjayy · 17/10/2023 07:18

I hope it goes OK this morning and she has fun and settle.

Tumbleweed101 · 18/10/2023 09:56

I'm surprised they would have done a settle session over lunchtime to be honest. Many babies can be too unsettled to eat in those first visits and lunchtime is a hectic time of day for the staff so they may not have had a spare person to comfort her one to one which prompted them to call.

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