Son not settling at nursery- week 3

6 replies

EyeC · 27/09/2023 12:25

He just turned 3 at the start of September and is going to a nursery that's part of a school. So he attends 9-3.

He had a great first couple of days, but since has really not settled at all, cries most of the day and has a nap (he dropped that about 6 months ago).

It's week 3 this week and nursery staff have said to maybe reduce is hours and work upwards as he's not settling at all and is becoming distressed when changing activities etc.

I'm on maternity leave at the moment so I'm happy to reduce his hours but I'm back at work at the middle of next month.

Any help?

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KateyCuckoo · 27/09/2023 12:29

Where did he go before you mat leave?

Are you dropping him off and going to home with the baby?

TropicalTrama · 27/09/2023 12:39

School nurseries are often a lot more structured and formal plus usually operate with much higher ratios because they have qualified teachers, so it can be a really big change even if he’s been in childcare before. Also if he’s just 3, he won’t be starting reception for 2 more years correct? So is he in a lower nursery class with 2-3YOs or is it one school nursery class where he’s in with mostly older children? If he’s the youngest then it might be an even bigger adjustment and he just doesn’t have the maturity to keep up with 3.5-4YOs. Then you’ve also got the adjustment to a new sibling, if the baby comes to drop off it could he a jealousy thing that baby stays with you and he has to go to school. Bless him there’s a lot going on. Could you do mornings only for the next week? Then phase back in the full days. And if poss don’t drop him off with baby in tow.

Original poster

EyeC · 27/09/2023 23:11

It's definitely not jealousy, baby is 9 months so he's used to her, he's never been jealous.

Teachers say he is sticking to them like glue and when they have to break away he is becoming really upset.

He's never been to nursery before this is his first time.

OP posts:

AlltheFs · 27/09/2023 23:13

It’s the wrong setting for him, try a different nursery or childminder. Where is the baby going?

KateyCuckoo · 28/09/2023 07:31

But where did he go when you were at work before mat leave?

TropicalTrama · 28/09/2023 08:16

School nurseries are allowed to have a much higher ratio (1:13) if class is lead by a qualified teacher so that’s a massive adjustment for him if he’s been used to 2:1 from you. It’s likely most of the others will have done some nursery before too. Also is he the very youngest there? As a September birthday he’s not in correct academic year for a typical preschool class which would be 3 on or before 31 August and turning 4 this academic year. I know he’s not off by much but being the very youngest plus no experience of nursery before may be why he’s struggling and getting so tired. Ignore that point though if it’s a lower or 2s class though, you haven’t said so just trying to think of everything. Also don’t discount the baby. I’m sure he isn’t jealous when they’re sharing your attention but when baby has you 1:1 and he has an adult he’s only just met at 1:13 then it could definitely be a factor.

What’s the plan for the baby when you go back to work? Can he go there too? It may be that he’s not ready for school nursery yet and that you’d be better waiting another year, which is the more typical way to do it anyway- 1 year of school nursery then move up to reception.

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