What if 5 month old won’t settle at nursery??

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For financial reasons I HAVE to put my 5 month old in nursery full time 5 days a week (at least for a few months then I will have Tuesdays off). She’s been on a settling in session today and not slept or taken a bottle - they seemed concerned and now I am super worried that she won’t settle in in the 2 weeks she’s in before I start back at work (I needed these 2 weeks for onboarding at new job/CPD/house maintenance tasks). I’ve arranged those 2 weeks so if she needs a week of half days I can just about manage it but what if nursery say she’s not ready after that??? My last little one started at 11 months so much different but can’t afford the maternity leave this time with COL crisis and being self employed. Please give me an idea of how likely it is nursery won’t let her do full days if she’s not settling!

Bump

She will settle. It may take time but she will.

I can absolutely promise you, she will. It may take time, sometimes several weeks and you might find it difficult but you just have to grit your teeth and keep going with it. I've worked in nurseries for 25 years and have never had a child not settle eventually. Nursery are extremely unlikely to say she can't come full time, that's a lot of money they'd be losing out on! Plus the more she's there the quicker she will settle.

I think at that age they will settle in much faster than at around a year. As long as nursery are happy to try a few different things, I'm sure they will work it out. My ds started nursery ft at the same age, and had a completely different way of napping for them

5 months is before separation anxiety starts so she may settle quicker than your older child.

It’s just hard doing the settling in and being told she needs to take a bottle with them before she starts. She takes bottles okay with me. I’m just worried they will make her do half days for more than the 2 weeks. I can’t just quit work - I’ve got financial penalties if I leave. I know she’ll crack it eventually (her sister did). I’m just worried that theyll have less tolerance for ‘not eating or sleeping much’ for a little baby.

@redsky21 haha it’s actually 2 under 2 full time so I really hope that will work in my favour!! I feel bad to leave her so much so young honestly but my budget when I got pregnant was pre-liz truss budget!

anyone got any tips? Nursery have recommended a Muslin smelling of me. She naps in the dark so I’m going to try to gradually put her down with a bit of light during the day more like nursery, etc.

Honestly my youngest is the most sensitive child imaginable. She went five days a week and was fine, even living it, by middle of week 2. Full time isn't ideal for any of us but it does help them settle quicker!

@pythongreenporsche you’re hopefully right that full time makes settling easier.

I’m just going to get her dad to do as many drop offs and pick ups as I can as he doesn’t feel the guilt at handover that I will! Thanks for everyone’s reassuring messages :D

I actually think her age will work in your favour, she will need some time to adjust but she'll be absolutely fine.

Mine started full time at 3 months and he settled really well, sleep was a bit lacking at first due to the fact that he also prefers darkness but I didn't change anything at home and he did adjust.

Get him to drop off OP! But do the pick ups. She'll be fuming at first, unless you're feeding in which case she'll never leave your side again, but genuinely the smiles and hugs at pick up once they get over the angry bit is lovely!!

I had an incredibly clingy and sensitive baby, I mean even leaving her with her dad at that age wasn't good.

She went to a childminder briefly at 1 and hated it and then she went to nursery from 2 and eventually had to be removed as it ruined her mental health. Despite what everyone said she didn't get used to it she just coped for a while but it caused a lot of problems. So no I can't promise they ALL will be fine but it's rare to be this bad (though I know know a bunch of kids like this).

We got a mother's help to look after her at home with me for a while which was easier on her but very expensive.

My first started at 5months - he was cmpa, severe reflux and feeding aversion. Also a contact napper until 2.5. He settled ok, in that he wasn't miserable or anything. He didn't really drink much milk but he did eat a little, much better than at home (early weaning advised due to reflux). He slept a lot there after the first week or so.

I wouldn't have chosen to send him that young but my small business employers made it clear I had to return to work (from home) at 3 months.

My second very healthy baby started at 7 months (the crap employer forced a settlement agreement on me during maternity so I had longer than my planned 6 months off) and was also fine. She was 100% breastfed and has never taken milk there (19 months now), but is an excellent eater. The first 6 months she would feed for hours at home time, but she's chilled now finally. Sleep was dicey, but she's also been a 10-20 minutes napper here since birth. She loves going there everyday oddly!

My dp does drop offs though. Our first hated being dropped after 12 months, one day he cried so much I actually brought him home 😅 I collect now instead.

Sounds like collecting will be a good idea! I’ll get DH to do most of the pick ups. Sadly neither of us have any scope to WFH for lunch feedings or anything

Is your baby only used to you giving her a bottle? If so maybe recruit some friends and family to give her some so she gets used to taking it from other people. At settling sessions there is so much new stuff for them to experience they just might not want the bottle as they can't relax enough.

Generally the younger a baby is the quicker they tend to settle after first few sessions.

I’m just worried that theyll have less tolerance for ‘not eating or sleeping much’ for a little baby.

I mean this kindly OP, but so they should. It's vital that a 5mo is getting adequate sleep and nourishment, they're still very little. Indeed, the nursery would be remiss in their duty of care not to have an issue with it if after two weeks they still couldn't get your DD to eat/nap there and just carried on as if everything was fine.

That being said, I'm sure in reality it won't be the case. Babies are still very adaptable at that age. My own DS started nursery at 7.5 months full time and settled absolutely fine after a week or so.

@Bookish88 I do obviously love and care for the baby! But I mean if it means a few weeks of contact nap after lunch and some porridge made up with formula to bridge the gap while she settles will they be willing to do that??

I doubt very much they'll manage contact naps, at best the ratios are going to be 3 to 1...

At my baby's nursery, at least one of them always has a baby on their hip but contact naps wouldn't be possible. All naps are in the sleeping area which has no door and is off of the main room.

Give it a little more time, she might surprise you yet.