What's normal for settling?

[Nopetree]

I was already worried about DD starting nursery as she's not used to being away from parents and cries when we leave etc.

When we looked around the nursery they told us there were two settling sessions which didn't feel like a lot. When signing her up they said it's one. We stay for an hour and leave her for an hour and that's it.

I'm thinking of asking for more as really don't feel comfortable with that. Due to start work the week after the settling session.

What did other people's settling look like? How many sessions over how long?
And those of you with babies who don't like being apart from parents... How did the sessions go?

It varies, but we had three. One where I stayed in the room with them, one where I was there but out in the hallway reading through policies, filling out forms, talking to the manager etc, and then one where I left them there. As far as they were concerned sessions 2 and 3 were the same (except 3 was longer), because they couldn't see me, but in the second one I could have gone in straight away if there'd been any issue.

I'd see how the first session goes, then see if you'd like to ask about having an extra one. Mine were both fine and probably didn't need the third session, but all children are different and a good nursery should be ok with that.

My eldest howled whenever I put her down during maternity leave but was always fine at nursery. She was fine when she started the first time (early March 2020 when she was 8 months but she was only there for 2 weeks because of lockdown), and then she was fine when she started again in the June even though she'd spent a couple of months not seeing anyone but us and had forgotten the nursery completely.

My dd has autism so a slightly different situation and we were told she will only get the 2 settling sessions them has to be in full time without me - I have said no that I’ll be staying with her for as long as she needs me to.

I don’t think it should be a one size fits all so see how your dc is and if you feel you need extra settling sessions then ask for them

Three at ours but you can request more. Generally, hard as it is it's best not to stay with them as how will they ever get used to it?
We usually just do extra settle sessions after parents drop off and increase the length of the session until parents and child are happy. You'll probably have to pay for extra settles though.

Three is the norm here, although they do more if needed. Both of mine were very, very much mummy's girls, and they did get upset at points during settling, but neither was inconsolable.

DD1 had one extra short session, so four over roughly a week and a half, but then the very experienced room leader suggested trying a short day to see if the longer time gave her more chance to adjust – they felt she was just starting to really relax and play, and then I came to pick her up. I think they were correct; she wasn't fully settled for some weeks, but was basically okay even that first short day.

DD2 had more extra sessions over about two weeks; the same room leader felt she needed a few more short sessions to build her relationship with the staff before doing a longer stint. Again, I think the leader was correct. Despite that, I would say she was fully settled faster than her sister.