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Original poster

Will it be ok to send dd with a bottle to pre school ?

34 replies

Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 20:43

Dd is 2, nearly 3 and going to start pre school. Severely autistic.

They give the children cows milk or water but she only drinks from a bottle (unless I’m breastfeeding her but obviously I won’t be there !). Delayed development and possibly other issues . Do I send her bottle with the milk in that she drinks so that she has something familiar ? I don’t know what to do

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/08/2023 20:44

Talk to the nursery and explain. Shouldn’t be an issue as it’s a very reasonable reasonable adjustment

JuneWind · 14/08/2023 20:45

I would think staff would be trained to deal with children with different needs and if a bottle of milk helps her settle in, that’s what you should do.

Speak to them as they may be able to help you transition her away from it when she and you are ready. Good luck, I hope it all goes well!

mynameiscalypso · 14/08/2023 20:45

Does she drink regular milk or formula? Presuming it's the former (so no faff with sterilising), our nursery wouldn't have an issue with this.

Jojobees · 14/08/2023 20:46

Is she only drinking from a baby bottle?
I would attempt to try her on a sports cap bottle.

But yes if she will only drink from a bottle send that in.

Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 20:47

Thankyou ! I’m just worried she won’t drink anything otherwise or it’ll trigger her into getting upset as she can stay calmer if has familiar objects . Plus I want her to still join in with snack time as much as possible I know she won’t eat (ARFID) but I think she may sit and drink her milk so at least is doing the same as the other children in some way

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 20:49

Jojobees · 14/08/2023 20:46

Is she only drinking from a baby bottle?
I would attempt to try her on a sports cap bottle.

But yes if she will only drink from a bottle send that in.

Yes just a baby bottle - cutting down bf has been horrendous and we’ve been trying since she was 18 m the only thing she will accept in place of me feeding her is a baby bottle and toddler formula (which the dietician said was probably a good thing as she rarely eats much solid food) it’s probably selfish of me too but if I know she’s away from me for a few hours and will drink something then I’m hoping she won’t want me to feed her when I collect her as if I refuse or redirect her it just triggers meltdowns

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 20:50

mynameiscalypso · 14/08/2023 20:45

Does she drink regular milk or formula? Presuming it's the former (so no faff with sterilising), our nursery wouldn't have an issue with this.

It’s toddler milk but it’s ready made so no powder etc to prepare

OP posts:
PuffingPuffin · 14/08/2023 20:52

Send the bottle and the milk.

Does she have an ehcp?

Sirzy · 14/08/2023 20:54

I assume she is under the care of a dietican and/or community peadiatric team? If so if there is any push back from nursery ask them to write to the nursery confirming she needs it.

Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 20:54

PuffingPuffin · 14/08/2023 20:52

Send the bottle and the milk.

Does she have an ehcp?

No ehcp I think she will need one though but I was going to speak to the senco when she starts

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 20:55

I’m honestly so nervous but equally I really need those few hours a week as I’m exhausted which makes me feel guilty to say

OP posts:
Jojobees · 14/08/2023 20:56

It’s not selfish of you at all. Weaning a child with special needs from BF is brutal ( been there) mine went happily ( ish) from bottle to sports bottle as he still got his suck need met.
These ones were a hit

Will it be ok to send dd with a bottle to pre school ?
90yomakeuproom · 14/08/2023 21:00

If she's severely autistic (how do you know this? Is she diagnosed?) then your health visitor and GP could have started the EHCP process already. It's not just down to nurseries and schools. It's often much quicker the younger they are. I hope you haven't been fobbed off and told to wait until nursery as it boils my blood when they do that.

On the bottle front, I manage a nursery and would be more than happy to make this adjustment for a child with SEND.

Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:02

Jojobees · 14/08/2023 20:56

It’s not selfish of you at all. Weaning a child with special needs from BF is brutal ( been there) mine went happily ( ish) from bottle to sports bottle as he still got his suck need met.
These ones were a hit

I’ll give those a try Thankyou . She is literally obsessed with bf. Anytime she feels anxious or overwhelmed it’s her go to and we’ve managed to get her sometimes to accept the bottle if she’s upset (if I hide !!) or during the night but it’s been hard the way I saw it I didn’t mind anything as long as I was feeding her less . I totally traumatised her following the advice of the HV who said to put plasters over my nipples she was terrified and upset and it freaked her out totally

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:03

90yomakeuproom · 14/08/2023 21:00

If she's severely autistic (how do you know this? Is she diagnosed?) then your health visitor and GP could have started the EHCP process already. It's not just down to nurseries and schools. It's often much quicker the younger they are. I hope you haven't been fobbed off and told to wait until nursery as it boils my blood when they do that.

On the bottle front, I manage a nursery and would be more than happy to make this adjustment for a child with SEND.

Yes she’s diagnosed and the consultant said she is severely affected as ‘scored very highly’ on her test (I think she was referring to the ADOS but I find the scoring confusing to work out )

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Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:04

And yes we were told to see how she gets on as it needs to be the nursery who will get their own psychologist in ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:04

I think it was an education psychologist to observe ?

OP posts:
PuffingPuffin · 14/08/2023 21:05

Have you tried a dummy or similar?

You can start the ehcp process yourself if you have evidence. If the preschool doesn't feel right, look elsewhere. My sons nursery have been incredible and he has thrived there.

Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:06

It says on the paperwork ‘cutoff 10’ and her overall score was 26? I’ve tried to google but I don’t know if there are different tests / results I had emailed the secretary for clarification as I don’t understand it

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:07

PuffingPuffin · 14/08/2023 21:05

Have you tried a dummy or similar?

You can start the ehcp process yourself if you have evidence. If the preschool doesn't feel right, look elsewhere. My sons nursery have been incredible and he has thrived there.

She will chew anything like a dummy so it will be a choking hazard I think she doesn’t chew the bottle as it has milk in ?

OP posts:
90yomakeuproom · 14/08/2023 21:07

Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:04

And yes we were told to see how she gets on as it needs to be the nursery who will get their own psychologist in ?

You've been told incorrectly there 😞 Like pp above said, you can apply for your own EHCP, GP and health visitor can too.
Are you considering mainstream or specialist school?

Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:09

90yomakeuproom · 14/08/2023 21:07

You've been told incorrectly there 😞 Like pp above said, you can apply for your own EHCP, GP and health visitor can too.
Are you considering mainstream or specialist school?

Show quote history

I’m not sure yet I was going to see how she gets on we haven’t had much support tbh so I’m a bit lost

OP posts:
PuffingPuffin · 14/08/2023 21:09

Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:06

It says on the paperwork ‘cutoff 10’ and her overall score was 26? I’ve tried to google but I don’t know if there are different tests / results I had emailed the secretary for clarification as I don’t understand it

An autism diagnosis is an autism diagnosis, they dont categorise any more. The individual may be affected severely by some things, or in some situations, and not others. Things may also change and become easier, or things may get more challenging. She clearly has not insignificant challenges to have been diagnosed at this age. It's tough trusting someone else with your vulnerable child though, mine is soon to start school and I feel like I'm blindly putting my trust in people I don't know

Original poster
Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:11

PuffingPuffin · 14/08/2023 21:09

An autism diagnosis is an autism diagnosis, they dont categorise any more. The individual may be affected severely by some things, or in some situations, and not others. Things may also change and become easier, or things may get more challenging. She clearly has not insignificant challenges to have been diagnosed at this age. It's tough trusting someone else with your vulnerable child though, mine is soon to start school and I feel like I'm blindly putting my trust in people I don't know

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im really nervous but I’m hoping it will help her if she’s in a setting with professionals

OP posts:
PuffingPuffin · 14/08/2023 21:12

Bluecircles · 14/08/2023 21:09

I’m not sure yet I was going to see how she gets on we haven’t had much support tbh so I’m a bit lost

Show quote history

The process is a long one, I would start to consider looking at schools when they go back in September, particularly if you think you may want specialist if she's a September born

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