Very clingy baby hates nursery and now hates me!

[Geordiebabe85]

Almost 13 month old is a very, very clingy baby. He's had 2 settling sessions this week where I stayed for a little while and then left him for around 30-35 mins.
When I went back in he was upset but not crying (no tears) but could tell by his breathing that he wasn't happy. He's meant to start doing 3 full days next week but I don't think he's going to manage more than a couple of hours.
Since then he's been even clingier with me at home except at night. We night weaned a couple of weeks ago and he's been happy with me just rubbing his back to get him back to sleep. But the last few nights he's pushed my hand away and crawled around the cot to get away from me. It's like he's angry at me.

Has anyone got any advice? How do I make nursery easier for him because ultimately he HAS to go, I HAVE to work! And how do I get him to stop hating me?

He doesn't hate you and he's not angry at you.

He sounds massively overtired and struggling to settle and relax because of it. It's a tricky time but just adapt your routine to help him. Maybe sit close by and play some calming music very quietly?

He’s 1 - he literally cannot be angry with you or hate you. He’s just adjusting, sounds very normal.

My DS started nursery at 14 months and was the same. He only lasted a couple of hours the first few times he went (booked in for full days) as they asked me to come and pick him up as he was "emotional" but this extended over time and was doing full days by about 6 weeks in. (Though then the constant illnesses started so was hardly ever there 😬). He will settle. Keep at it. One thing that helped was my DH started to do the drop offs as DS was less clingy with him and DH wasn't stressed by it, which I was and DS may have been picking up on.

Thank you for the advice. DH dropping off is a good idea. I'll give that a go. I'm back at work in 2 weeks so hopefully it won't take 6 weeks!

He doesn’t hate you. Maybe he’s just ready to go to sleep without any assistance.