Whether to move DC to a different nursery

[DearHorse]

Hello, I was hoping to get some advice on whether to move my DC to a different nursery.

DC is around 2 and a half. Current nursery does not offer funded hours. Overall we are happy with the care they provide, and we are not sure whether to move her to a setting that will offer funded hours.

Having said that, DC almost every day now says that she would prefer to stay home and does not want to go to nursery. A few weeks ago, she was starting to not want to go. One day she did not want to let go of me and the nursery worker said something like: come on DC, you are not a baby, and then she cried and cried :(. One day when I dropped her off at the same nursery worker, DC looked at the floor with such a sad face and had her hands in little fists. Things with drop off are now better and the nursery staff tell us on most days that she has been completely fine.

Before this (I think she has now stopped) she would each day stand and observe the other children for several hours before she would join in. She also does not speak much at nursery, but is very chatty at home. She is very shy around new people/people she does not know very well.

All in all, we are not sure whether to keep her at this nursery or to try our luck at a different one. We are worried that following a move, she may be even less happy. She will have currently bonded (to some extent) with the staff at her current nursery. Any advice/experience of your DC changing nursery would be very much appreciated!

Yeah it sounds not great tbh. We’ve used 3 nurseries and never had anything like that!

Definitely move her! I'm surprised you'd contemplate keeping her there for another 2 years to be honest.

Thank you for your comments. We struggled getting a nursery place at the time, but it seems that currently it is easier to find a nursery place than it was at the time (maybe also because she is older now).

You sound exactly like me with our old nursery.

Every day the staff would tell me DD had had a great day...I don't know if they were lying or just not noticing because my DD is so well behaved, but my DD was so unhappy there. A few months after removing her, she started talking about some of the awful things that had happened there and I regret not taking her out earlier.

Now that we are at a great preschool, the difference is so obvious. The staff don't just tell me she's had a good day, they provide detailed examples of what she has been doing, in person and on the app. She is so happy to go there - not once asked to stay home.

I'd move her if I was you.

You could also try asking to come in for a stay and play to observe her in the setting - I wish I had pushed for that at the old setting. The staff used COVID as an excuse to keep parents out of the building for far too long - in retrospect that was a red flag - the new setting is much more open - I see the other children run up to my daughter and happily greet her at the door!

Get the funded hours!

Thank you both for your input.

The nursery is quite open and there was a day for parents to spend time with their child in the nursery. My DC insisted on being carried by me almost the entire time we were there, which is not so easy anymore at her age. The other children seemed to be enjoying themselves.

At some point she was looking over at the puzzles the other children were playing with, but she did not walk over there or say anything. I noticed it and brought her to the puzzles and she then happily played with me. I think she might be quite shy.

Only recently did we notice that she wasn't really speaking at nursery. I think the nursery staff probably assumed she was not speaking much at home yet either.

I have booked some visits at other nurseries to see whether they might be better fit for her.