Am I being overly fussy?

[MinnieOne]

Hi, my 2 and a half year old little boy has been attending nursery a couple of days a week since New Year. He took a while to settle but seems happy now. A few things have come up recently that I just don’t feel happy with.

• Coming home from some half day sessions still in the same nappy I dropped him off in.
• Playing outdoors in the boiling hot sun without having his sweatshirt taken off (I dropped him off in it as it was chilly in the morning but didn’t think that needed explaining to staff?!) - he was doing water play and it was also soaking wet and stuck to him :-(
• Playing outside in hot weather with drinks all kept indoors and out of reach / sight.
• We are VERY rarely given information about what he’s been up to or enjoying.

I appreciate I’ve made the nursery sound terrible - they aren’t at all and OFSTED gave them an Outstanding award. But I just don’t feel thrilled about these incidents. Am I being picky and do these sorts of things crop up at every nursery? We have the opportunity to move him elsewhere in September (initially our first choice so we’ve been on their waiting list a long time) and I had been concerned about unsettling him, but now I’m thinking we go for it.

I don’t really have many people to ask advice so I was wondering if anybody on here could shed a little light please? Am I being picky? And has anybody else successfully moved a child’s nursery? Thankyou in advance :-)

For me

Being in same nappy for a half day - fine if it was clean/lightly wet when collected, most half days are 4 hours and with wees they may have checked mid way through the day, if no wee they leave that nappy on. Obviously if it was heavy wet or soiled that is not acceptable

The jumper - sometimes happens as an oversight. On warm days I put light t shirt on with coat, no jumpers/cardigans. Then mine can just not have coat on once he arrives/if he goes out and it's warm. Jumpers sometimes get overlooked. That may help with that issue in future?

Drinks not in reach for a bit while playing outside - I find that okay. Generally at mine they go out for half hour then pop in and have drinks/toilets for those toilet trained, and go back out. They normally do half hour intervals. Unlikely they would take every child's individual drink outside every time they go out.

Not getting updates from the nursery - I would speak and ask nicely if you have something specific you want . A lot don't give too many updates especially with the older ones as sometimes they're trying to record nap times/how much was eaten as well as actively looking after the children. I did ask for a few photos once a month with an update on what he was doing and I get that now (though probably every other month)

Nappies - how many hours? Our half days are 5 hours and he has atleast 2 changes, more if soiled.
I would expect a nappy change within this time tbh. Unless it's bone dry which is another issue.

Jumper - agree possible oversight. I have put a little zip up hoody on mine on a morning, as you say it's chilly so they take it off when he arrives. Do you have something like that?

Drinks - ours do take their bottles outside in this warmer weather and if they are staying out longer than normal.

Handovers - I think this totally depends on your nursery, do you have an app?

At 30 months a lot of emphasis is put on independence and self care....getting their own drinks, recognising bodies needs etc. It's also free flow so just like the ones using a toilet they can go to get a drink....but should be monitored and encouraged to do so. If drinks start moving around that can confuse things. At school you don't carry a drink with you but have to go and get it with them typically being on the side not on a desk...so again encouraging that independence ready for school.
I'd dress him in things he can take off himself most of this age can remove clothes and are starting to put them on.
As they get ready to potty train they can hold their wee for longer and longer so a change for most would be about 3 to 4 hourly.

Thankyou so much for your replies :-)

I do think from reading these I am probably overly fussy / expecting a bit too much. He’s home with me a majority of the time other than the two morning sessions and in terms of independence he’s not dressing / undressing himself or nearing potty training just yet.

That makes a lot of sense regarding not moving their drinks, I think it was just the fact a little girl came up to me and asked for her drink when my son asked for his and I worried they’d been thirsty a while. With us having no childcare at all until around 6 months ago I think I possibly just over worry! X

The nappy wouldn't bother me as a one-off or occasional thing (unless soiled or causing redness, obviously) – as previous posters have said, they may have checked it, found it dry, so left it on. No point in wasting a dry nappy.

Unless it was really risking illness due to the heat, the sweatshirt also wouldn't bother me as a one-off. Could be an oversight, could even be that he didn't want it off, and if they didn't think it was so hot as to be unsafe, they respected his choice. I'd not be thrilled with him left sopping wet for a long time, but if he was doing water play, it makes sense they'd not change his clothes until they were reasonably sure he'd finished.

Drinks, I'd just ask them what their arrangements are for drinks in warmer weather.

You should be getting some information about what he's been up to most days. We get verbal updates every day (plus written food/sleep/nappy sheets for little ones), but photos tend to come in a big update once every month or so. Other places do daily updates on an app and photos much more little and often.

What's your overall impression of the nursery? Do you think they know your son as an individual? Does he seem to have a good bond with his keyworker and the other staff in his room? If these things are positive, I'd be inclined to think these are just little hiccups (but speak to them about the updates and anything else that's really bothering you). If the overall picture isn't so good, I might revisit the other setting and consider changing.

Not sure I agree here.
Children should have access to water at all.times, so if the set up is that everyone is in the garden and the drinks are inside, that is not right. It depends on the layout of the building.
And although early self help skills are good, at 2 years old dc do not need to be getting ready for school! School is another 2 years away, they have time to learn that gradually.

Nappies should be chaged 3 or 4 hourly, as you say, depends in how long the morning is for the OPs dc.

OP, dont worry about asking these questions, a good nursery will be happy to listen and explain thier processes.

Children should not be outside in jumpers with no water in this weather, it reached 27degrees where I am a few days ago and its really up to the adults to ensure your child's wellbeing, not up to the 2 year old to ask.

I have worked in nurseries for 25 years. None of these things are acceptable. Please raise your concerns with the manager.

Coming home from some half day sessions still in the same nappy I dropped him off in.

If nappy is dirty then no not acceptable.

Playing outdoors in the boiling hot sun without having his sweatshirt taken off (I dropped him off in it as it was chilly in the morning but didn’t think that needed explaining to staff?!) - he was doing water play and it was also soaking wet and stuck to him :-(

Not acceptable- although the water play might have only just happened? It should have been taken off in the heat.

Playing outside in hot weather with drinks all kept indoors and out of reach / sight.

I think this is ok - if they can ask for them or they all have a drink when they go back inside. It never used to be a thing to have constant access to water so as long as they are allowed a drink if they ask for it/are regularly given one I would be ok with that.

We are VERY rarely given information about what he’s been up to or enjoying. I'd ask - as they get older you get given less and less info, so I'd ask each time at handover.

Outside areas should be free flow with children able to move between both freely you can't have drinks in both places so like in your home drinks at a drink table is fine.
Like it or not the grading is very much on independence skills with inspectors marking down even 18 month olds not being encouraged to do things themselves....I wasn't saying they shouldn't be asked just that clothes should be ones they can remove themselves. There are a lot of people who do not encourage children to pull their own trousers down then suddenly decide their totally unprepared 2 year old should potty train forgetting the first steps to training are self dressing .

This says it all.

(Except it's 30 years for me!)

Where I work nappies are changed every 2 1/2 hours from babies up to preschool. So I don't think thats acceptable.
Drinks should be kept outside in the shade if they are playing outside. Water should always be readily available even in cold weather.
Information should be given at handover time about what they're doing, nappies, food etc but lots of settings put the information online along with observations. I'd bring it up.
Water play and wet clothes I'd not be too worried about. It's hot, they'll dry off and I'm sure someone would help your son remove his jumper if he was too hot. So I'd probably let that one go but bring up the other things.