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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Nursery or not?

18 replies

c307 · 19/05/2023 07:01

My son is 20 months old (2 in august) and is currently at home with me. He's a handful and hard work so have been toying with starting him at a nursery a couple of mornings a week- a bit of a break for me and some space and independence for him. But it's obviously a lot of money which we don't need to be paying out so my question is in your opinion is it worth it? Does nursery really bring them on and help them develop? More so than being at home. And when I say at home I mean out and about with me, soft play, play groups, parks etc but one on one with me.

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HAF1119 · 19/05/2023 08:05

Mine really thrives at nursery but I'm working full time so a different situation.

If I could afford it and wasn't working would probably do 2 half days a week personally just to develop the social skills etc

strawberryFforever · 19/05/2023 15:36

It's worth it to give you time to yourself. So yes, do it

Other benefits

Socialising
Eating with others
Learning through play
Being away from you

jannier · 21/05/2023 19:59

Do you go to toddler groups and do messy play activities, take him to soft play and libraries etc....if you do there is no need for a nursery at this age

somuchtolearnabout · 21/05/2023 20:06

I am a SAHM to a 4yr old and a 2yr old and due in July with #3. My two have always gone to nursery 2 days a week since they were 12 months old, despite the fact they could be at home with me, and we send them for a number of reasons.

because I think I'd top myself if I never had a break from them, my husband gets breaks during his work day but as a SAHM, the only time I truly get that is when they're at nursery. My mum also has them 1 day a week each, but she's retired and has a life of her own so that's not always guaranteed, unlike nursery.
the many many benefits to them, both social and educational. It teaches them how to be independent, how to play and socialise with other children, it helped their speech, it helps their variety of play (I hate messy play but don't feel guilty not doing it as they do plenty at nursery) and most importantly, it prepares them for school. I can't imagine my children leaving me for such long days for the first time ever at the age of 4/5 to go to school.

In my opinion, if you can afford it, giving your children the chance to experience nursery while also giving yourself a well deserved break is the best thing you can do for them.

FluttiTutti · 21/05/2023 20:09

Mine started 2 mornings a week at 2. He absolutely loves it! It’s been so good for both of us.

SnackSizeRaisin · 23/05/2023 12:51

I don't think there's any benefit to nursery at this age, as long as you are taking him out and about which you are. I think it's beneficial from 2.5 to 3 ish.

A good nursery would be better than a parent who puts child in front of TV all day etc but a good parent is better than a good nursery. They can socialise with you there at playgroups etc.

However, doing it because you want a break yourself is a perfectly good reason. Especially if that helps you to be more patient etc when you are with him. If you can afford then I'd have a look at some nurseries and see what's on offer locally. Some may have waiting lists

Sunshineclouds11 · 23/05/2023 18:23

Best thing we ever done was put our DC in nursery at 2.
A lot of benefits for a 2 year old.

You also need a break!

Darcy86 · 23/05/2023 18:26

My son turned 2 in March and has been at nursery for 2 days a week since he was 1, because I have to work. I hated sending him at first but he has done really well and is a confident, social little lad. I'd recommend it for sure.

PlainJanePerfect · 23/05/2023 18:38

My 2.5 yr old DS has been in nursery since 5m as I doing IVF the week between jobs and had little leave. Terrible timing!

I sent him in the other day with a favourite book The Digger and the Flower.

The older toddlers room used it for half a day of activity. They read it, dug dirt trays planting and watering flowers, talking about how they grow, learning about diggers. They did an art project making digger tracks in paint on paper. I've seen the narrative and all the pics on the app. He and his dad looked at it together and he told us about all his friends, naming each one in the photo.

DS got a lot of pride in being the one to bring that book and share it with everyone. The room lead had it for a few days planning the activity and we got it back today, so we talked about sharing our toys and why it wasn't with us.

I'm not the type to do associated activities and I'm happy he's got his peer group to learn with. We also lack any family in the UK. So nursery is great for us.

InDubiousBattle · 23/05/2023 18:57

My dc went to a pre school two mornings a week from the age of 2 even though I was a SAHM. They enjoyed it but I'm not sure it was a massive benefit before 3 (I'm sure they would have been fine without it)but was useful for preparing for school when they were 3/4.

Fenella84 · 24/05/2023 06:58

My little one has just started nursery at 12 months.
i am going back to work soon and I was so sad about it!
drop off was hard, however by the end of the day I had reorganised the house and spring cleaning , done some shopping by myself, got my hair done with adult chat etc. Had uninterrupted cups of tea and lunch. It was great lol. I won’t be able to do all that at work but I still look forward to adult chat, cups of tea and lunch. And going to the toilet by myself 😂
when I picked up my little one they’d had a great day, some moments (no more than at home) loved lunch with the other little ones, tried new foods at snack, loved the nice big garden,, playing with things we don’t have at home, and had a session mixing with the older kids who were obsessed with the new baby lol. Already has a favourite teacher teacher!
So overall I’m feeling happy about it all now! :)

dwightschrutebeets · 24/05/2023 07:31

I'm a SHAM to an 18 month old. She's starting nursery in jan when she'll be 22 months. It ridiculously expensive but itl be worth it and she'll thrive. I went to a playgroup in a children's centre the other day and there's a nursery attached and its £36 a day rather than the £85 I'll be paying privately. Irs school time only so 9-3 but might be worth having a look if there's one near you

Fenella84 · 24/05/2023 13:36

Oh that’s a good pint raised by @dwightschrutebeets
coupd you find one that’s term time only? They tend to be cheaper and then you’ll not be paying in the holidays (unless you need a break then too!).

FluttiTutti · 24/05/2023 14:06

DS is in a term time nursery, I don’t know that I’d rate it for a 2YO tbh. He loves nursery and it’s been good for both of us but given the choice I’d go day nursery over TTO for that age. Very limited options around here though as they’re mostly run by private schools. Which brings me to the holidays which are really long as they follow the private school holidays not state school so a month off at Easter and Christmas, 2 months over the summer, 3 half terms a year. And he just gets confused about why he’s suddenly not going, and then takes a while to readjust when he goes back. There are no holiday clubs for that age so he’s at home with me the entire time. I’ll be honest, Easter was tough and I’m nervous about summer. Once he’s 3 I’m sure it’ll be fine as he’ll understand more and a few holiday camps will take him, he can even go with his big sister, but I’m really not loving TTO for a 2YO.

FluttiTutti · 24/05/2023 14:08

That’s not a critique of nursery though! The problem is when he’s not there.

RecklessBlackberries · 24/05/2023 14:22

My son is the same age and at nursery two days a week. I don't work, so he is there purely through our choice.

He absolutely loves nursery and is excited to go every time. He's so social and confident and there are definitely skills he picked up at nursery before we thought to try teaching them at home (eg using a spoon, fetching his own shoes and coat etc). He's being exposed to a lot of food we don't eat at home and has plenty of opportunity to start learning to negotiate with his peers. And no way could I provide as many varied toys and activities at home, both in terms of the practicalities of setting them up and tidying.

MrsLB123 · 02/06/2023 13:46

Mine twins are soon to be 4, and will be starting their very last term in the pre school room at their nursery on Monday. I only sent them once I received the funded gov hours due to affordability, but honestly, I wish I could have afforded to send them before then as they have really grown in the past year and learnt so much.

If you can afford it, do it, even if it is two mornings a week. Also, your sanity will thank you!

VivaVivaa · 02/06/2023 13:55

I don’t have anyway of knowing how DS would have turned out if he hadn’t gone to nursery, as he’s been going since I went back to work. Initially 2 days a week and more recently 3. My gut is that he didn’t need to go for socialising until recently. Maybe around his 3rd birthday it suddenly became clear that working out relationships without DH or I there was important and will stand him in good stead for school. Nursery was still great though before 3, I just don’t think it was necessarily crucial for his development.

However, it is also completely okay to send him because you need a break. Being at home full time with a toddler sounds more exhausting than going to work!

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