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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Son coming out of nursery in heavy nappy

22 replies

2under3inkent · 30/04/2023 19:55

My son will be 3 in June. He has ASD and is very speech delayed. 4 times now I have picked my son up from nursery with a nappy either so full with urine his trousers are nearly falling down or poo so old i have to peel it off him. He starts the day at 8:30am in a completely dry pull up then 12pm when I collect he is like that. I put pull ups and wipes in his bag but yet on multiple occassions he has come out like that.
He has recently been given antibiotics for a urine infection which the nursery are aware of but STILL left him like that all day.
They have never raised an issue with me in regards to changing him but the other children always come out dry. Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:

Changethetoner · 30/04/2023 20:07

This is not acceptable, he should be being changed in that time period. You need to ask them why he isn't. A good nursery will ensure all babies/children are in fresh nappies for going home.

Changethetoner · 30/04/2023 20:09

Not sure how you know the other children "come out dry" ?? Do you mean you have more than one child attending the same session?

Hugasauras · 30/04/2023 20:09

Not acceptable at all. They should have timings in place for changing nappies on children who use them. Most have set times plus when a child does a poo. I would be very unhappy about this. It's neglectful.

alyceflowers · 30/04/2023 20:10

Have you asked them if/when his nappy is changed?

GiltEdges · 30/04/2023 20:12

Well it clearly isn't acceptable and you should speak to them about it, but how can you possibly know the other children come out dry?

Invisimamma · 30/04/2023 20:17

Obviously this is not acceptable and something you should speak to nursery about.

Is it a preschool, school nursery or private daycare nursery? I ask because for preschool and school nursery they usually won't be used to children being in nappies and won't expect to be changing nappies. You will have to have the express sleep agreed as part of his care plan.

Original poster

2under3inkent · 30/04/2023 20:22

GiltEdges · 30/04/2023 20:12

Well it clearly isn't acceptable and you should speak to them about it, but how can you possibly know the other children come out dry?

I have 3 friends who children all come out the same time as my son. I have asked if they have experienced what I have but they say they have never had a child come out at pick up in a heavy nappy.

OP posts:

caringcarer · 30/04/2023 20:42

Is it because he's not in a nappy but a pull up? I'd put him in a nappy and tell them he needs it changed during the morning. Maybe you can potty train him during the summer.

TheIsleOfTheLost · 30/04/2023 21:40

One of my kids came out of nursery like this a few times. I mentioned it to the manager, who assured me it would be sorted. It happened again, so I pulled him out and sent him somewhere else. No child should be left like that. There were other issues with the nursery too. He was sooo much happier at the new place I was glad I did it.

Reugny · 30/04/2023 21:46

There is a thread elsewhere on MN about nursery workers preferring nappies to pull ups if the child is not being potty trained.

Ask the nursery if they prefer him to wear nappies rather than pull ups. Give them their preference and then tell them to change your son when his nappy is full.

alyceflowers · 30/04/2023 22:01

If he's in pull ups are they assuming he is using the toilet, maybe they're sitting him on the potty during the morning?

BeetleBailey · 30/04/2023 22:01

This happened once at our nursery and we spoke to the manager straightaway

Didn't happen again

JenniferBarkley · 30/04/2023 22:34

Not acceptable at all, especially the poo. I'd mention to the manager.

The wet nappies wouldn't bother me so much, they'll change wet nappies on a schedule and at that age he could easily soak it in the interim. Might be difficult for them to get back round to it again. The poo is completely unacceptable though, that should never happen.

MumApril1990 · 30/04/2023 22:57

This makes me so sad and scared to send my lovely boy to nursery. Your poor boy

ezbez · 01/05/2023 14:16

Can nobody communicate with each other anymore!?

It obviously isn't acceptable so speak to them! What is this thread going to achieve?

Tumbleweed101 · 01/05/2023 20:34

Is he an excessive drinker? Most children will be wet but not sodden at that age within that time frame. A lot of our SEN children tend to drink more than average and will get wet a lot quicker.

I'm not saying that should excuse the nursery. We always make sure very wet nappies are noticed and changed and poo should never be missed. We also double check all nappies are ok before children go home as some have long car journeys, but wondered if this might be why he is wetter than average. Pull ups get wetter quicker than normal nappies too and tend to slide down more.

Original poster

2under3inkent · 03/05/2023 13:48

ezbez · 01/05/2023 14:16

Can nobody communicate with each other anymore!?

It obviously isn't acceptable so speak to them! What is this thread going to achieve?

Looking to see if anyone had this experience or if its just this nursery. Im already stressed but you making me feel stupid isnt helpful

OP posts:

Alloveragain3 · 03/05/2023 13:57

DS would only ever have a full nappy after a 12 hour sleep.

3 or 4 hours, he might have done a couple of pees buy his nappy wouldn't be too full at this age.

So maybe the other kids haven't been changed but simply aren't filling their nappies this much.

Not changing a poo nappy is so grim. Don't the staff mind the smell?!

TheSnailAndTheWaaaail · 03/05/2023 14:15

Wow I wouldn't be at all happy at that, it means they either don't care that your child is uncomfortable or they don't notice it needs changed. Neither of which is a good thing.

Our nursery used to change nappies at 10 and 2 and any time there was a dirty nappy in between. Although I agree with others that at age 3 it's a bit unusual to have such a heavy nappy in that timeframe. I'd just make a point of asking them to change him mid morning, it's a reasonable request.

Skybluepinky · 03/05/2023 14:24

Speak with the nursery, only they will be able to tell u, u were lucky to get ASD diagnosis so young especially with Covid backlog.
Lots won’t accept pull ups unless toilet training they take so much longer to change and are terrible for leaks as there is no adjustment.

Kindofcrunchy · 03/05/2023 14:30

My son has been going to nursery in the mornings since he was 2. When he turned 3, they stopped changing him if he hadn't pooed and most days he'd come out with a full nappy at home time. So glad we've nailed potty training now as it was pretty rank for him, and we must've mentioned it to them several times a week :/

Thefaceofboe · 03/05/2023 20:53

He should definitely be changed, even if in a pull up, surely they don’t just presume he’s using the toilet like others have suggested? They should know children in their care and if they are reliant on nappies or not. How sad. Definitely speak to them for reassurance and ask them to change him

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