Did you decide not to send your child to pre school nursery?

[micegg]

DD is able to start at pre school nursery (attached to school of choice) next year which as I understand it would be 5 days a week for 2.5 hour sessions. I am about to go on mat leave and dont know if/when I will return. If I don't go back to work I will probably send her to pre school nursery.However:

At the moment she goes to nursery for 2 days a week whilst I work. If I do return to work (most likely) then I would prefer this option as it means her and the baby will be at the same nursery, I wont have to find care for the rest of the day as I would if she were at pre school and I dont have to worry about holidays, etc.

If I go for option 2 she will stay at her current nursery until she goes to school - which will be almost 5 as her birthday is October and she would start school in the September before. That would mean she would be in a room of 3-5 year olds at her nursery. A friend of mine went for option one even though it caused a load of hassle trying to find wrap around and school holiday care because she felt it was better for her child to mix with the children she will probably go on to school with and be in a more formal school environment. For example she said her DC knew all her numbers and could write her name, etc which she doent think would have happened at a nursery.

I am just not sure all this really matters ar such a young age. Am I wrong? I know the nursery follows the same curriculum as schools but I guess it may be less structured if DD is only there for 2 days a week versus 5 days a week at the same time, etc.

Have any of you not sent their DC to pre school and when they have begun school at 4/5 what was your experience?

I don't think your wrong at all. You know your child best, and what works for her / you. You are under no obligation to send your child to a 'school' nursery, either. My 3 yr old could have started at a pre-school nursery in January (5 days a week, 3 hours in the afternoon), but we prefer the arrangement he has now - 3 days a week, 2.5 hrs at a playgroup. There is an option for him to go 4 or 5 afternoons a week in the autumn, so we'll reassess his hours then, but he will definitely stay in this playgroup until he goes to school, now.

pedantic self correction! you're, not your

Am in a similar position and had almost decided to put dd in pre-school whilst I'm maternity leave this summer. But a few things have happened and I've realised it's going to be such an upheaval for her becoming a big sister (she's nearly four and currently only child) that I've decided it's probably best for her to have some consistency in her child care. As for the reading and writing, she'll do it when she's ready, be it at nursery or at school, there's no rush.

I'm in a similar position.

My dd started at an excellent private nursery last September at 2 years and 8 months. I was a little miffed then, when I received a letter saying that dd had been registered at the local primary school's nursery class, which would amount to 2.5 hours every morning, Monday to Friday.

I wrote back politely, explaining the current arrangements and suggested that dd's place would be better to go to a child who wanted/needed the place. A letter came back saying that dd was given the place because we live in a "disadvantaged area", blah, blah, blah. So I wrote back saying that I understood why they offered dd the place, but reminded them that it wasn't necessary because dd already spends over 30 hours in a private nursery. I also sent supporting documents to prove that dd was attending the private nursery. I then received a phone call and unusually I answered the phone - I usually let go to answer phone first and then ring back. I instantly regreted picking up the phone, because it was a representative from the primary school, suggesting, "why don't you let your daughter attend our nursery in the morning and she could go to the private nursery in the afternoon. After all, you are not working."

I may not be in paid employment, but I don't have the time nor the money to transport dd for a 9:30 start at one nursery, only to pick her up at 12:00 and then take her to the other nursery, only to pick her up again at 3:15pm! I'm not a taxi driver! Currently, I drop off dd for a 8:50 am start and pick her up at 3:15pm. I also have an 11 months old son so it's not like I've got the time to put my feet up during the day!

Anyway, the point of my post is: if you are happy with your current arrangements, then stick with them. Your child needs continuity of care and not a nursery school version of musical chairs, with lots of changes here, there and everywhere.

Mumofhelen - I am at your local council for being so pushy. It's all a bit odd. I agree with you and the other posters abut the upheaval and everything. The 2.5 sessions are not much good to working parents unless they have wrap around care which would just complicate things for us.

We didn't bother sending dd to the pre-school attached to her future school. As working parents to 2.5 hours/day was no good to man or beast and so she stayed in her day nursery for her 2 full days, going to my mum's for the remaining 2 days when I was at work. Even though it turned out that 75% of her reception class did go to the pre-school we certainly did not perceive any issue with this at all and dd certainly never mentioned the fact.

Roobie How clse to 5 was your daughter when she went to school? I only ask because DD will be virtually 5 and I wander whether she will be 'too old' for her private nursery by then. If she was going to be one the yougest in her school I wouldnt be so concerned. Probably just being stuoid about that.

She is an April baby and started in the January school intake so that would have made her 4 months short of 5yo.

I would keep to your two days, my dd was in nursery two days when my 2nd was born and it was great. i had two days alone with baby and i could catch up with rest.

i switched her to 5 mornings at local school nursery and found it very stressful getting her and collecting her. she did not even get into the reception there and she is now at another school.

if i done it again, i would stick to the nursery two days a week. she enjoyed it. i just put her in the school nursery because everyone else was. it def made my life harder. but we are all different so do what is best for you and what makes your life easy.

I think it will be fine to stick with the nursery she already attends. Ds1 did attend the pre-school nursery of the school he went on to attend, but when they went on to school he was not put in a class with his friends and was distraught initially, but settled in just fine after a while.

I initially had dd for mornings only at her nursery and only increased to full days this last term.

I have to admit, the full days seem to be going down a lot better than the half days but maybe that's because she 3 years and 4 months, and the days are short - only 6 hours.

As for the LEA, I've left them to it!

Hi - I too have ds (4.5) in private nursery for the two days a week I work (Mon, Tues). He is a september birthday so, again, will be virtually 5 when he goes to school in Sept.

He is in a pre-school room at nursery, so I'm not too worried about him not doing the same things. However, he is quite shy and sensitive, so what I have done is send him to the pre-school of the school we hope he'll be going to (fingers crossed - 13 days till we find out!) for 2.5 hour sessions on Weds and Thurs. I have to say he loves it there, now stays for lunch on Weds too (at his request!), and has come on leaps and bounds.

I did think about sending him to the school pre-school for all sessions instead of nursery, but the whole wrap-around childcare issue got too complicated, and dd (18 mths) is also at nursery so easy to have them at same place.

Anyway bit of a long post, but just wanted to say that it may not be an either-or, could you not combine the two as I have? It might not suit everyone but in ds case he was ready for that little bit more, and it's really benefitted him.

im the same my dd would get a free place at local nursery attatched to school but i didnt want her to go anywhere and when dp finally talked me into it ( she started when she was 3) we chose to put her in a private on 3 morns a week as we liked it so we dont mind paying , dd will stay there till she starts school in sept and im thinking i will keep her just morns at school till she is 5 as i think its such a long day for a little one who has just turned 4 will have to see if i was smart enough i would home school but i feel if i did that she would learn a lot about drinking starbucks and shopping and not much else lol

We have kept our first and now our second at private workplace nursery (excellent and convenient) right up to point of starting school. Its full days as opposed to the nonsense of 2.5 hours. We get local authority grant for the hours of free care we are entitled to and can also use vouchers etc for part of other fees.

My eldest started school knowing no other children and was fine. Even those who had known each other from pre-school all re-bond the first week and then keep forming new friends and groups, its very fluid.

I think the best thing is for children to be settled with one provider. It can be good to switch them if there is then a wraparound care option with the pre-school once they start school, especially if, like my school, they are forced to start part-time (but we have no wrap around provision anyway).

My second child is starting school sept, she is in nursery and noone else will transfer to her school but she knows a few children going on as siblings from her sisters class.

Local activities/playgroups have the sets of kids circulating that will go onto local schools , asdo playgrounds if you can be sociable there?

Is attending the nurseria a criteria for getting into the reception class. DD went to the nursery and most children there were there as a means to bag the reception place. The school is very over subscribed. I think about 1 in 4 who apply get in. They have since changed the rules and going to the nursery now gives you no added advantage to getting into the reception class. But,I have decided to send DS anyway.

So, if I were you and I really wanted DD to go to this school, I'd send her to the nursery IF it was an advantage to getting her into the reception class. If it's not an advantage or you are just as happy for her to go somewhere else, then I'd probably stick with the nursery for the sake of continuity of care.

Another thing to possibly consider is whether you could get a childminder to look after them both and do the school run so that you could maintian the same drop off and pick up times.

Ds is staying at the nursery he is at whilst I am at work - I am not changing not worth it - going to be a big upheavel going to school anyway - the do follow the national curriculem at nursery so he shouldn't be too far behind if at all.

My DD1 stayed at her private day nursery where she went 3 days a week whilst I worked. She stayed there right up until she went to school in the September, 3 months before her 5th birthday.

It didn't impede her at all regards starting school, as the nursery followed the Early Years programme anyway.

The nursery also discounted her fees to the value of the funding received for her free sessions.

I would leave your DD where she is if it's more convenient.

DS isn't going to pre-school yet.
He was able to from september last year but I'm having another baby so thought I may as well keep him home.
It would be mroe hassle than it's worth for me personally as we live miles away from the school and I don't drive.

DD stayed in private nursery right up until starting school. Because of work committments I couldn't have mamaged with pre-school hours/sessions. Also her school, t the time, didn;t have a preschool attaced, so it wasn't as if she'd be getting to know her school friends either.

The nursery she was at was lovely and I saw no reason to move her.

Was perfectly good and she made the change to school just fine.

Oh and the day nurseries will follow the same curroculum as a preschool. Dd also knew her letter sounds, letter formation, numbers, basic adding, how to write her name, and pre-reading skills prior to starting school - all without any formal learning; just through play at home and nursery.

The onyl think nursery did not do, and I chose not to either, was teaching her to read.

DS is a late February birthday and at our school we have two intakes which made DS the youngest in the September intake. I was in a similar position to you because I had DD who was 3 years younger. DS already knew one or two children who would be in his class socially, and is a quietly confident kind of child. So I took the option of leaving him at his day nursery 3 days a week and having him with me two days. He was fine and settled into school really well.

We were asked to take him into school for an hour a week on a Thursday morning from half term to summer - stayed with him the first time and left him subsequently which was a PITA because it was a day I worked. Sometimes I took the morning off and sometimes DH worked at home and we also had our last termtime holiday already booked so he missed another two weeks.

Now my DD is 3 (4 in May) so will not start reception until January. She could have started school nursery last January but I have kept her at her day nursery. However I am thinking of moving her to the school nursery in September. A lot of her friends will be leaving nursery by then to go to either reception, school nursery, reception half days, whatever... And it will stop me having to do Thursday mornings between October and Christmas. She will have to go to DS's CM in the afternoons.

On the academic front, my DS is quite academic (top group for everything now he is in Y2) and had no problems catching/keeping up. DD I am not so sure about. I think the day nursery probably does less academically but I try and compensate for this with DD on the two days I have with her. Easier than when DS was her age and she was a newborn. She can count, recognises the numbers 0-6, can write her name, and we are practicing other letters one a week. So I think that is good enough. And given that she is well socialised - reliable toiletting, good at dressing etc I am happy. The only issue she has is that she can be shy and anxious. This is why I have decided to put her into nursery for the term rather than expect her to join an established group in January. And also to compensate for the term of reception she will miss.

DS could not read when starting school but now is fantastic.

Thanks everyone. I am now on mat leave with DC2 and have kept DD at her private nursery for 2 days a week. If I go back to work next year (more than likely) I will keep DD there so she will be in the same place as her sibling. I am very happy with the nursery and more importantly so is she. I will then keep her there until she is nearly 5 and starts reception. From what you have all said it doesnt make any difference in terms of settling into school. My local council say that you dont have to have gone to nursery to get into reception at a particular school. This also stops alot of faffing for me as its only 2.5 hours a day so I would need a childminder or something when I have always used a nursery (just my preference, theres also the masses of school holidays to consider. Added to this is the fact that my local council say you have to attend the nursery FT (5 days a week) which I would not want. I would still like our 2 days together if I was working 3 days. If I dont go back (least likely) I will consider putting her into pre school as the hours and holidays woudlnt be such an issue but I have also found a playgroup which does 2.5 hour sessions but I could send her 3 days instead of 5 which may suit me better. She is only 2.5 but I have already started intorducing numbers, etc so it sounds like I can cover some of the basic stuff myself before she started school.I am not that bothered about the eductaional stuff st this age either whereas pre school does seem a bit more formal to me and at such a young age. Intrestingly a teacher friend of mine wont be sebding her DD to pre school nursery as she feels its too young. It was under the impression that everyone went to pre school nursery so its reassuring to se this isnt the case.

Excuse the typos

Just to add that in our area entry to nursery and entry to reception are applied for seperately.

I do use a childminder for DS as we have no afterschool club but I have kept DD in her day nursery thus far as the two are conveniently located close together. I am happy with the CM though and will be happy for DD to go to her.