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Original poster

Setting into School nursery & 3 yo

3 replies

Hiphipbirthday · 22/03/2023 13:07

Hello

My dd (turned 3 on the 1st march) has just started school nursery. This is her second week.

First week she was surprisingly settled, first day we were only meant to stay half an hour but she was that happy we left her for the full morning session (nursery suggested this) She went in happy every day - we were surprised as she's only been left with my MIL and not many of the playgroups here reopened since lockdown so I was expecting her to act as she does in new and unfamiliar places - clingy and shy. But she was like a different child, playing, chatting and having lots of fun it was a joy to see. Dd has made 3 little friends already.

This week its all gone wrong! She's screamed/ cried/ kicked on going in, the staff have recommended I sit in for the first ten minutes and then leave but I feel like it's making it worse. Today they told me they'll phone if she doesn't settle after she was trying to stick her head up my top....they did phone after half an hour to say she had finally peeled off a member of staff and was playing in the home corner with her friends.

My older dc never went to school nursery (he went private from 8 months) so this is all new to me. What happens if she doesn't settle? Is there anything I can do to help? Has anyone got any experiences of school nursery and how long it takes to settle in? She's only doing a morning session so I drop her off at 9 and pick up at 11:30 - what can I do at drop off? Also not to drip feed it's a quiet session the Am one - only ten children in.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Skyeheather · 22/03/2023 13:18

My DS took half a term, so around six weeks to settle in. Some days he would go in willingly but most he would cling to my leg and cry. At DS nursery we drop off at the door as staff say the children settle better if the parent doesn't go in but they make exceptions for children like yours where it does help to go in, get them changed and find something to play with.

DS was always fine once he was in and I had gone. It didn't help that I'm a SAHM so he knew I was just going back home and he wanted to come.

Your DD will settle, she just needs to get used to the routine, get to know the nursery and the other children. Once it's all familiar to her and she realises that she has to go and there's no point arguing about it she will be fine.

DS still has the odd day where he'd rather come home with me - I just say something like "why don't you go in and paint me a picture" and he'll run in focused on that and forget he was trying to get out of going in.

Original poster
Hiphipbirthday · 22/03/2023 13:27

Skyeheather · 22/03/2023 13:18

My DS took half a term, so around six weeks to settle in. Some days he would go in willingly but most he would cling to my leg and cry. At DS nursery we drop off at the door as staff say the children settle better if the parent doesn't go in but they make exceptions for children like yours where it does help to go in, get them changed and find something to play with.

DS was always fine once he was in and I had gone. It didn't help that I'm a SAHM so he knew I was just going back home and he wanted to come.

Your DD will settle, she just needs to get used to the routine, get to know the nursery and the other children. Once it's all familiar to her and she realises that she has to go and there's no point arguing about it she will be fine.

DS still has the odd day where he'd rather come home with me - I just say something like "why don't you go in and paint me a picture" and he'll run in focused on that and forget he was trying to get out of going in.

Thank you that's really helpful to know- I just thought with the amazing start last week she was of of those mythical children you hear about who just take it to it like a duck on water.

I only work weekends and evenings so I think she also knows I'm just going home so that's a good point - she asked today to go back home with me. I'll have to remember tomorrow to ask her to make something out of the playdoh table.

Thank you for the reassurance hopefully it'll just take a bit more time - it's really hard when they're upset for you and you just want to give in.

OP posts:
unvillage · 22/03/2023 18:34

Week 1 is very often easier than week 2 (and 3, and 4...). They kind of realise after the first few sessions that this isn't a temporary thing!

Stick with it, she will get there. Give her a kiss and say goodbye (never sneak away), tell her you'll be back soon!

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