About to have a newborn and toddler constantly sick from nursery!

[Lynstar05]

Hello, I am due to have a baby end of the month and my 2 year old is bringing home illnesses every week from nursery.

So, he is constantly with colds and sinus infections and as am I! I have a constant chest cough and blocked and runny nose for weeks which is killing me and leading to completely sleepless nights.

I am worried about the baby getting sick, especially with things like croup going around etc.

Anyone been in this situation and any advice? Should I pull him from nursery for sometime?

Thanks!

I had the same with DD in nursery when I brought DS home in January last year. To be honest I didn’t really find that it was too bad, yes DS caught some of the coughs and colds but I didn’t find that he was that unwell with them. When he started nursery he didn’t seem to get as many bugs as I remember DD getting when she started.

It might not happen and if it does you will manage it. Honestly, you will. My dd was jan baby. My ds was 2.10 - dd had cold in first couple of weeks but it was OK. I found ds going to nursery allowed me and baby to rest.

Think of it this way.

The vast majority of nursery attendees have siblings born during their time in nursery. Anyone who works and have a 1,2,3,4 year age gap is likely to have a baby and an older one in nursery.

do these people all withdraw their orders from nursery to have the sibling?

The minute you realise how utterly common your position is - literally any working couple with a 1 to 4 year age gap is in your position - you’ll realise that what you need to do is simply get on with it.

@Angelik the thing is he is rarely in nursery. He is always sick. He goes back for 1 day and then is sick again and misses another week. Then goes back for a day and is sick again no joke. So he constantly off and home with me sick and then im constantly sick..

@SittingNextToIt so when you mean get on with it do you mean I need to relax about the newborn getting sick? That is my worry really. So it's fine to allow a newborn to be around sicknesses?

I had my second in a lockdown when nurseries were all closed and my 2yo and newborn still managed to get a cold when the youngest was 3wo. I’m not sure there’s much you can do about it.

I think be kind to yourself, if you are able to have the 2yo off nursery and this would make you less stressed so that there is less chance of sickness for a period that is fine

But when baby is here if you feel you need to catch up with some sleep when baby is sleeping etc then take 2yo back in and rest, that is fine also - from around March most the nursery bugs die down a lot and you're generally clear until September time

At the moment if you're paying for the place and little one only going once a week then bringing a new bug home I understand you may want to just not for a few weeks and be bug free with less stress

I have a 3 year old in nursery 3 days a week and a 5 month old. Baby has had a constant cough since December now and 2 lots of antibiotics. I have worried a little but no more so than with my first, I aren't an anxious person though.

I'd be most worried about baby catching RSV when their airways are still so small, they are most likely to require hospital admission. After 6 months they can cope better (though not catching it -or other illness- at all is always preferable!).

If you think you can cope with newborn and toddler at home then I would take toddler out of nursery for a while, it will also give toddler a chance to properly recover without constantly being exposed to new illnesses.

Some thoughts/questions

How long has 2 year old been at nursery? It is often bad when they start. Also it is winter.

Is he too sick to go every time - I only ask because as a pandemic mama it took me a while to adjust to them being allowed in with a cold/cough

Finally, plus side is the little one will hopefully have less time off if they are exposed to illness now.

Are you planning to breastfeed OP?

In these situations breastfeeding the new born can make a real difference because it means baby’s immune system will be supported by your own.

I’d second the above too, my DD is only kept off nursery if he has a temperature. Coughs and colds he still goes in, as does everyone else.

Your toddlers immune system is building, spring is coming, and on balance being exposed to illnesses by older siblings is helpful to future health. Good luck with your baby.

Yes, what sort of sick is it OP? If its tummy issues each time I'd speak to the nursery and ask them to make sure they are enforcing their sickness policies

I would be really wary about disrupting the going into nursery for very long, if that’s what you plan to do. Anyone who had toddler plus newborn in covid when everything including childcare was closed (I’m guessing you wouldn’t be comfortable with toddler groups etc either OP?) would know how tough that was, and wouldn’t propose it lightly.

I was worried about exactly the same, I had my second 7 months ago when no1 was 21 months. We took him out of nursery for 4 months and it was hard but I’m glad we did, no2 ended up getting rsv at 13 weeks (ended in a and e visit but she was ok) but I do believe because she was a bit older she didn’t need to be admitted.
although, since putting no1 back in nursery his illnesses haven’t been as bad? So maybe his immune system had built up by the time no2 had come! I will never know but I’m still glad I took him out for a while!

@gfuche perhaps number 1 hasn't been as ill as he's had time to properly recover for 4 months without being constantly exposed to illness at nursery.

We, as society, need a fundamental rethink of the concept that children getting ill all the time is good for them. Avoiding illness is always better!

This could definitely be helped by nurseries/schools working on better air ventilation and installing HEPA filters. It won't be 100% effective since kids touch each other/slobber on things, but it will definitely help reduce illness.

I've pulled my toddler out of two groups that were constantly leading to colds etc to protect my newborn so I don't think you're too uptight!

Dd was 15 months and had a dreadful cold when ds was born

He picked it up, got bronchiolitis and we were in and out of hospital for 4 months with him on/off oxygen, steroids, you name it.

It was so bloody stressful. If I could do it again, I would definitely try and make sure that any illness stayed away from ds till he was a bit older.

Like I say, maybe wait until the baby is here to make a decision, it’s a tough gig having toddler plus baby and nowhere to go for months on end.

And yes, I have had hospitalisations for bronchiolitis, and that was well before any childcare was in the mix, so I know how awful it is, and how difficult it’s likely to be to avoid

My baby got every sickness that my toddler bought home. He was in and out of hospital with all sorts.
If your toddler barely ends up there from always being Sick, I would remove them completely.
Good luck

You can afford nursery whilst on maternity? I wouldn't pull them out, when they can go it'll give you a break.