Full time nursery guilt

7 replies

CatGos · 04/02/2023 23:01

I'm not usually an anxious person, but my 9 month old starts nursery full time this week as I go back to work and I am wracked with so much guilt. I feel so sad about the fact that I'll see him for an hour or two a day to do bedtime and he'll be spending so much more time with them than me. Am I going to ruin the amazing bond we have/give him feelings of abandonment etc?

I can't afford to drop days at work and it's breaking my heart.

OP posts:

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Rainsdropskeepfalling · 04/02/2023 23:13

No you won't ruin any bond. Settling in days can be rough (my kids started nursery at 3 months which is a lot easier) but you'll be fine. As will your son.

cymmtptysm · 04/02/2023 23:30

I've been there, OP.

DD1 started nursery at 9 months and it broke my heart, but she settled pretty much straight away.

She's now nearly 2 and she has been thriving. She sings her keyworker's name at home and skips in through the doors when I drop her off.

cymmtptysm · 04/02/2023 23:31

But to answer your question, no you won't ruin your bond.

DD and I are so close. She gives me the most beautiful hugs and kisses, we have such an amazing time when she isn't at nursery.

Nobody can replace you mama.

JenniferBarkley · 04/02/2023 23:39

Both of mine have been full-time from about the same age, they're 4.5 and 2.5 now and it's been brilliant for them. They've both been the kids who run in happily in the morning and run out happily to us in the evening. They both have a great bond with both of us, no adverse effects there at all. The intense, important parenting stuff tends to happen first and last thing with little ones I find.

Eldest is at school now, in there same class as several kids she's known since the baby room. We have no family nearby and moved to an area where we knew no one - nursery was the start of us building our village here.

Original poster

CatGos · 05/02/2023 00:01

Thank you for your kind reassuring words. This really resonated as we're in the same situation, no family and few friends around. I think it's why I'm having such a tough time as we've become this little unit over the last nine months with no help so it's hard to trust him to someone else!

I am sure he'll love nursery as he's a really curious, social little boy. We'll just make the absolute most of our evening and weekend time together.

Glad to hear you and your family are doing so well.

OP posts:

JenniferBarkley · 05/02/2023 00:06

Ah it's tough when you don't have support. Nursery will be a life saver, especially once you're back working.

One thing we try to do is go for lunch once a month while the kids are out - with no family nearby it's not easy to get out in the evening, but nursery makes lunch doable.

Bree82 · 09/03/2023 12:22

CatGos · 05/02/2023 00:01

I am sure he'll love nursery as he's a really curious, social little boy. We'll just make the absolute most of our evening and weekend time together.

Glad to hear you and your family are doing so well.

I have been feeling sad at the thought of my LO starting nursery too. I’ll be able to drop 1 day at work, but the nursery days will be long!
my manager reminded me that it means I will appreciate even more our time together and it will all be quality time.
she says it will be tiring, but totally worth it and that her kids benefited from having to be extra organised and grew up to be totally self sufficient and organised and helpful etc.

it didn’t affect her bonds with her children!
I know every kid is different but I guess whatever our situations we adapt and make the most of it so can turn any scenario into something positive and something we can gain from.

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