Am I overeacting

[TinaMummy]

Hi all, DS aged 1 has just started at nursery. He goes 4 days a week. I fully appreciate they won't look after him the same way I do but there are certain things bothering me and I have had great guilt and regret for choosing this place which was rated good by ofsted. (In my defence I chose this place in the midst of post natal depression and didn't really ask enough questions, I was just relieved they would take DS off my hands at that time). So my concerns:

• I get a vibe of attitude from the regular staff who all appear quite grubby (not to be snobby but it's an observation)
• we were promised twice daily garden time but he hasn't been out once as they are too busy
• no use of bibs at meal times despite having them available
• DS always has food stuck to his face and hands
• several times now there have been agency staff there in addition to the regular staff
• at drop off I notice the other older kids all seem to be very badly behaved. Not sure if that's a reflection of the parenting or nursery care or both, or neither!

I have looked for alternative care but all the good places have long waiting lists and I feel stuck here. I have even considered giving up my career to stay home as I just feel this isn't the right place but maybe I'm overreacting? Any thoughts?

Doesnt sound good at all and not my experience of nursery. Could you see if there are any childminders available whilst you wait for another nursery place? Also look at nurserys close to your work, not just home. My first went to one next to my work and i loved driving in and home with him.

Staffing: I don’t know what you mean by an attitude making them appear grubby maybe it’s a regional thing? You mention snob I was so I’m assuming they appear working class? Nursery work is hard, I certainly couldn’t do it, but it’s also low paid (and arguably unskilled, not sure I agree but there you go). Their socioeconomic and educational background will likely be different from that of a doctor or lawyer.
Garden: how long has DS been going? It’s winter and given their using agency it sounds like they’re short staffed (I think all nurseries are at the moment), if this has been going on months then that’s something to raise, if it’s a few weeks I’d probably leave it for now.
Bibs/food: I’m amazed that sometimes nursery put aprons on my DS and other times he comes home covered in paint, felt pen. And yes food too. I honestly don’t know how he gets so filthy. But it comes with the territory, I don’t know of any parent that disagrees.
Older children: this too would worry me but what age are you talking? It’s normal developmentally for toddlers to bite, hit, shout etc.
I wouldn’t be desperate to move DS based on what you’ve mentioned, but if he’s unhappy then definitely look around. It’s really hard handing over the care of your baby to strangers.

Sorry, I meant to say it’s hard to hand your baby over strangers so you need to be happy with where he is too. All our nursery staff are lovely, I like them, my son loves it and looks forward to going.

I have approached several childminders who are all full and don't anticipate a space until the end of the year! Finding a place near work wouldn't really work for me as my job location varies. I just feel like I totally messed up in making this choice.

There is one local nursery that has one space free however they are brand new having only been open a year so there are no ofsted reports to go on. Then again, the report for the current place clearly isn't a reflection on it's quality.

I think you need to lower your expectations. A good rat

I don't think grubby has anything to do with class?! Weird assumption. Presumably OP means they are dirty/smelly/unkempt?

I'm suprised at people telling you not to overreact. If my DC was coming home from a care setting without having had his hands/face wiped since lunch, not outside time, etc I think I'd wonder what level of care was being given

Some of the things you mention would bother me a little bit - mainly around the food - but the rest seems absolutely normal, albeit I would never have given a second thought as to whether staff looked grubby or not. Toddlers are pretty feral so drop off/pick up time at our nursery is total chaos. Agency staff is also not a huge problem, nurseries are really facing a tough time with staffing and our nursery uses agency staff often. They're often the same staff who come repeatedly and are just as good as the regular staff.

Oops posted too soon! I think you need to lower your expectations. A good rating is pretty much all I've seen in a nursery setting in my area.
You could ask about garden time but the weather hasn't been great so for a 1 year old they would be getting very cold as that class would have limited movement.
Bibs - pretty standard tbh. Expect dirty clothes.
Agency staff - again as another poster has said this is normal currently. The alternative would be the nursery shuts as they wouldn't have enough staff on a day to day basis so I would be pleased they can get people to cover.
I think you sound a like you're abit judgey regarding the workers state of dress. They are on the floor with your children, doing a messy play, they aren't going to be wearing their finest.
Unsure what you mean about being not very well behaved - The older ones can go a little wild at times as they're so excited all the time.
Personally, I wouldn't be changing for the points you raised otherwise you'll be moving to every nursery going. As long as they are kind and loving to your child then I would be content.

I’d trust your gut and look again at the new place- is it friendly? You can ask about the staffing, use of agencies, etc etc. If you want them to use a bib - say. Speak up- don’t be shy. I was all smiley and quiet when baby started nursery but after a row with the manager I realised I have a voice! So be polite of course but ask away as you need to for peace of mind. Twice a day garden time seems a lot everyday imo weather etc difficult but I’d want to feel staff were warm and friendly and I was well informed. How does your baby seem? Happy or no? That’s also big clue xxx

Ofsted is a snapshot and into policies and procedures.

My SIL has 20 years early years experience the best advice she gave me was see how the staff are. Have they been there a long time, do they appear happy, is there lots of staff turnover or are they short staffed/agency a lot. If so then it's probably not a great nursery to work at and unhappy staff often means less engaging/doing the minimum work wise.

The issues from your list which would raise bells for me are all around staffing - not going out due to too busy/not the right ratios, staff attitude and agency staff.

Go visit the new nursery and speak to the staff.

*I get a vibe of attitude from the regular staff who all appear quite grubby (not to be snobby but it's an observation)

depends what you mean by this- hard to tell tbh

*we were promised twice daily garden time but he hasn't been out once as they are too busy

older kids this would bother me a lot. Babies in the current cold conditions less so.

• no use of bibs at meal times despite having them available. DS always has food stuck to his face and hands

This would bother me in the baby room. Older kids being encouraged to be independent may well be messier but mine have always had faces and hands cleaned properly after meals at nursery.

• several times now there have been agency staff there in addition to the regular staff

depends. Covering for sickness etc will require agency but do they have regulars who supplement or a churn of people coming in and out?

*at drop off I notice the other older kids all seem to be very badly behaved. Not sure if that's a reflection of the parenting or nursery care or both, or neither!

drop-off won’t necessarily be easiest time/seeing children at their best behaviour and not sure how that is the fault of the nursery. Have you got specific examples?