Hello,
Just wanted to hear your experiences with having babies in the nursery or with childminders from a very young age as lately I've been overthinking if I did the right thing for my babies. Also because I bumped in some (old) contradictory studies saying that nurseries are bad for child development, they will show aggression and lack of attention later in life, with other behavioural and emotional problems as well. That they should stay at home until 2.5 years old before sending them to a childminder or nursery (whaaat?!). I'm not super worried as there are so many other factors to consider when it comes to raising children - and hey, I didn't have any other options, we have no family or friends who could help and both my partner and I had to go back to work. My twins started nursery when they were 9 months old (7 months corrected at they're born prematurely), it was heart breaking, but as I said I had to go and earn money for my family, and staying at home with just me the whole day wasn't an option. Also because I love my job and need to see other people during the week to keep me mentally healthy.
They started going to the nursery 3 days a week, than 4 days a week when they were 15 months old. Luckily I work 4 days a week so can spend one day with them during the week. They are now very chatty, smiley and happy 19 months old, they are happy when we drop them at the nursery and as parents we can see how they thrive and learn. I don't know what the future will bring, if they will become aggressive or hyperactive - as those studies say - but if it happens will it be all nursery's fault? What if they stayed home with me all the time when I was still going through PTSD from a traumatic child birth? Would that have been better for them? We don't live in an ideal world, and as parents we struggle most of the time, and all we want is to provide the best environment for our children. Full of love and presence. And no scientific research can tell us what's the best, or what we should or shouldn't do. But they do make you feel guilty- "am I a bad parent? Am I selfish? Am I doing the right thing". All these questions resonate in my mind, although I do know I've been doing my best.
I'm really sorry for the poem and the vent, but it feels so good now. What is your experience with childcare? What do you think about all that? How do you feel?