Used up all my sick days wtf happens?

[xxcatcatcatxx]

Hi all

DS started nursery in Nov and has constantly been ill which reading threads is expected. Most of the threads however were about having to take time off when looking after the baby but I’ve caught every bloody virus he’s had.

I’ve worked at home multiple times and have already taken 3 periods of official sickness which I think is the max.

How the shit am I going to make it through the rest of the year? Does anyone know if HR are quite kind when it comes to starting nursery. Do you get disciplinary/ no pay?

I know every company is different but interested to see what others experienced as there’s no way I’m going to make it through 10 months 😩

I’d expect disciplinary action if you’re off again. Although check when your sick period runs from and to. Ours is Jan-Dec, any more than 3 periods of sickness can trigger managing attendance but can also be held off by manager’s discretion.

I have two kids both have been through nursery, I’ve never needed time off sick apart from last Sept when I got a flu type bug (not covid). I’d take vitamins and look at what you can do to prevent it. General childhood viruses shouldn’t be that bad for you as you should have better immunity.

Depends on the industry and company. If you can wfh, and it's not too disruptive to others, it's better than if others need to be called in on their day off to cover for you!

I also picked up loads of things and often ended up far more ill than the children. Unless you work somewhere draconian, hopefully they'll understand albeit you might only get statutory sick pay. There's so many bugs going round that you're unlikely to be the only one ill.

Hopefully give it a few weeks and you'll turn a corner. I had one really hideous year when it felt like I was sick from October for months but it's been much better since then (til this year!)

@MynameisJune how unhelpful 

@xxcatcatcatxx I went through this and my immunity is really good usually and has been brilliant ever since. Do you have any help to spread the load? I had a helpful mum who kindly didn't mind having ill children at her house if they were not too ill

@longcoffeebreak I have Weds off and DS always recovers over that day or on weekends. It’s just me who seems to be getting the brunt of it.

I’m on my second round of D&V and had a really bad cold for a week where I completely lost my voice so I cant even really WFH. Im getting absolutely battered 😢 Might start taking some kind of multivitamin and hope it helps

What nonsense.

You can take unpaid leave I believe, and if you’re off more than 3 days in a row you can get statutory sick pay.

hopefully your work will be understanding as there must be others in your position.

I too have had everything my child has had since starting nursery and also have had to collect him loads of times and look after him at home.

luckily I have an office job and laptop and can wfh. Even though ive had tonsillitis, vomiting, coughs and colds and am shattered from sleepless nights I’ve still managed to wfh so far but my job is mostly pretty chill so I understand it would be harder if your job is more full on or customer facing.

You are not supposed to use your own sick leave for child's sickness.ypu use emergency time off for dependants dor short term illness or to find care fir long term illness.Employers who have tried to discipline employees for this have found themselves on the wrong end of a sex discrimination claim

The OP said her sick leave has been because she’s picked up whatever her child has and has needed the sick days herself, not because she has had to take time off for her child.

Unpaid leave or annual leave.
Those early nursery days were grim.

It's such a hard time. Every employer is different.

What I would probably expect:

1. In an a deal situation you can make up the hours at evenings or weekend if the job can be structured to allow it and someone else could look after DC

1. You start taking unpaid leave

FWIW, I'm also surprised you've been able to use your sick days for childcare, unless it's unpaid?

But none of us can tell you, you need to talk to your HR.

Okay, when the Op is facing discipline action at work because she’s been off 3 times in about 11 weeks you go tell her manager it’s nonsense. I didn’t say I agree with it but it’s what I’ve seen from over 22 years of being employed in various roles and industries.

Looking at why she is catching everything going isn’t in my opinion a bad idea because most people don’t get that ill from their children’s viruses.

@WaddleAway I read it as the OP was using her sick days for the DC and herself?

If it helps with the immune system, I've found that a course of Floradix always helps and I've also started getting B12 shots every three months which has helped enormously with general energy and wellbeing. YMMV of course, but worth a shot!

OP, you need to wash your hands more frequently. How do you think nursery staff avoid getting sick all the time?

Yes because all viruses are prevented solely by hand washing. They aren't airborne

I was hospitalised with hand, foot and mouth, which I caught from my child. I’m fit as a flea usually. I got every bug going. When you have a child in nursery, you’re suddenly exposed to hundreds of viruses that your adult immune system hasn’t tackled in any great volume for a long time.

To clarify the sick days are for me 🤧 🤮

I might ask to book in a meeting with HR just to see if there’s anything they can agree on. And get some multivitamins. Before baby I rarely got sick, seems he’s out to get me

Nobody here can tell you- it’ll depend very much on your organisation and their managing absence policy.

You might find more information in your staff handbook, if there is one.

It sucks OP, I think all you can do is work through as much as you possibly can and show willing to speak to your manager/HR about the potential problem. In my job it's fine, you'd have to be off constantly for it to flag as a problem so long as the work was getting done. I know other industries are much more strict, however.

It is very difficult to avoid getting sick when you're with your child caring for them, they're in your bed or you're in their room all night, or they're licking your face or sneezing and coughing on you. I've had the worst couple of years of illness since having a nursery-age child - last year I had Covid plus two other flu-type bugs and two lots of D&V. Not fun, and I'm normally rarely ill. I'm very much hoping now he's four we're past the worst of it.

Do they have a policy on dependent leave or unpaid leave?

Dependant* 🙄

If genuinely ill not a lot can be done.

OP, you need to wash your hands more frequently. How do you think nursery staff avoid getting sick all the time?

The above is nonsense. Having worked in childcare for a long time most nursery staff get absolutely everything when they first despite hand washing/good hygiene. They build up immunity over time but even then still get sick.

I’d have a chat with your HR department/ manager and see if they can support you with a plan rather than worrying.

I would expect work to start wanting to see a doctor’s note - is this something your gp will do?

This winter is unusual as everyone’s immune system is lower than usual after two winters of covid restrictions. Everyone I know has been ill over winter and we are all through the small child years. You are unlucky this is combining with start of nursery for you so double whammy. I hope your work is understanding.