Nursery Sickness

[Jcol28]

Hi all, first post on here! Wanted to reach out to find out how other nurseries handle sickness, or just hear of other peoples experiences so I know I’m not alone!

First time mum, sent DS to nursery from 11 months in September. Since then I don’t think he’s had a clear 5 days of him being 100%. D&V, colds, coughs, teething, the lot. He’s had what seems like a persistent cough for 5 weeks now, every time we take him to the doctor they say he’s fine - run of the mill viruses that are picked up from nursery and no antibiotics needed. Just that time of year.

Whilst we love the nursery and the staff, I can’t help but feel their sickness policy is incredibly strict. If they have a temperature they’re sent straight home - even if it’s teething. Whenever they’ve taken his temperature we’ve brought him home, taken it ourselves and he never has a temperature, and is right as rain the rest of the day. If they have to administer calpol, they’re sent straight home. If they’re even just a bit more clingy than usual, we’re getting a call. My husband and I both work and it’s heavily impacting our jobs. We’re also picking up everything he is and have been knocked for six with sickness multiple times the past 3 months.

Friends from my NCT say their nurseries will offer calpol and monitor, and that they’ll generally hold onto the kid until it really is clear they’re unwell. If he’s genuinely clearly unwell I of course don’t send him in. But I’m basically on tenterhooks everyday waiting for them to call. Any words of wisdom? Have people experienced the same? It’s causing us a lot of stress and I’m trying to find a way through this. Thank you!

This sounds standard for our nursery im afraid. I’ve never heard of a nursery being happy to administer calpol and monitor the child tbh.

We also had a run of weeks and months of temps, coughs, colds, viruses etc etc. Not fun at all but par for the course.

btw I think it’s an old wives tale that teething causes a temperature

My childs nursery seems very understanding that they all have permanent snot and coughs all winter. If they are fine in themselves they are happy to have them there. They will give calpol for teething (red cheeks, drooling, biting) and for a temperature.

Obviously I wouldn’t send them in if very ill, vomiting etc but a bit of a winter cold is inevitable! They have been there 8 months and we’ve only picked up once for a very green sticky sore eye.

We have a childminder and thankfully my LO hasn't had any sickness.

He mixes with three other children in her setting, plus they go to a minder group where there's around 10-15 children in total and he's still fine.

I appreciate you run the risk of not having cover if she's unwell, but that hasn't happened so far.

I hear such horror stories of sickness in the nurseries. I'm so glad I didn't choose one for my little one.

Sounds pretty standard I'm afraid. I've just been at home the last 2 days with my 2 year old who had 2 loose nappies in one morning at nursery triggering a 48h exclusion for possible D&V. Literally no symptoms in the entire time stuck at home.

DC previous nursery used to administer calpol and monitor, until the Covid pandemic, during/after which it was calpol and straight home. Current nursery wont give calpol at all unless temp gets dangerously high.

Teething is a tricky one as iirc the nhs website doesn't say teething causes a temperature (though it did in both of my DC).

They can't just call you for DC being clingy though, it should be for an actual symptom from their sickness policy like vomiting or a temperature. Push back on that if they do.

It does get better and eventually you stop catching absolutely everything they bring home (I triggered my work sickness absence policy in the 6 months after DC1 started nursery as I caught so many things).

Our nursery is pretty good about keeping them when its obviously just a cold. Thankfully as my eldest has had a snotty nose since the day she started there. They won't give calpol or anything that hasn't been prescribed by a doctor and they won't take the kids if they have had calpol that day.

Mine are the opposite, we've been sending him the same time frame as you roughly and he's missed one afternoon when they thought his hand foot and mouth was impetigo. They usually just administer calpol and hold on to him. They said if they sent them home with every minor illness they would never be in.
Yours sound ott

Thanks everyone for the replies so far! Reassuring to know that some other nurseries are operating a similar policy I guess. Both our workplaces have been incredibly understanding but there will come a point where questions will be asked I’m sure.

No fun at all, I’ve heard the first 6 months are the worst then it eases up a bit - I do hope so! @ISaidDontLickTheBin agreed re. him being clingy, I’m a bit of a pushover so my husband handled that call from the nursery and said if he doesn’t have a temperature then can they just monitor him and see how he goes, give him some food etc. low and behold he was fine the rest of the day…

@tirednewmumm I’m envious!! Having parents who both worked in Schools and Nurseries this was what I was expecting based on their experiences. Colds and coughs are inevitable!

I didn't want to seem like I was bragging lol more just wanting to point out that not all have the same attitude if you end up changing setting! I can imagine it's so
Stressful

@tirednewmumm oh no not at all! A friend of mine said her kid even got a rash at nursery and they were happy to keep looking after her. That is a bit beyond for me - I would never expect that, but having a cough/sniffles should be standard. I am starting to consider looking elsewhere which is a shame as he loves it there (when he is there!), or looking at childminders. We can’t go on the way we are at the minute.

Our nursery seem quite balanced. What I will say, is that I appreciate their strictness on temps, vomiting and diarrhoea because it means that my dc is less likely to pick these up. I'd be worried about a more casual approach to illness as my little one would then be more likely to be ill.

My nursery is pretty balanced too.
They give Calpol.
Every child has a cold or coughing which they get but if it's persistent they get sent home.

The first 9 months for us were pretty horrific in terms of picking up everything!

In terms of being clingy, I don't understand having to leave for this if no other signs of being well. They may just need some extra cuddles that day.

I don't blame you for being pissed off tbh

Our nursery is happy enough to give calpol and monitor, and as long as their temperature is below 38 they are fine to stay in. Only reason they will get sent home is temp above 38, chicken pox, or vomiting/diarrhea. Pretty much everything else, they let them stay. I prefer this as like you say, kids have some sort of illness or teething or just not feeling right every other day, so I would never be able to work! They were more strict during covid times with full rooms being closed if a case was found etc, but I think the balance is just right now.

There have been times when they've sent my son home because of high temp or random one off vomiting, then he comes home and is completely fine, but it's not happened often enough that I'm too bothered.

Your nursery sounds too strict, which I've heard similar complaints about other nurseries too. I would look into finding a new nursery if they seem to be that strict at yours.

Thanks @purplemama1990 - I think your nursery has the balance right. My son has genuinely been sent home with a temp of 37.5, this was early days so I didn’t challenge it and we went and got him but now I think I would put up a bit of resistance.

Like you say - there’s something up with them every other day and the way it’s going is not sustainable!

@SunshineClouds1 thanks for your reply, I am getting rather frustrated with it. Today even, when I was walking him to nursery he seemed a bit perturbed so I turned around and went home to give him a bit of time so I could assess if he was fine to go in or just having a moment, I let the nursery know I’d done this and that he‘s fine to come in and my husband will drop him after breakfast. When he got to the nursery he was questioned as to whether we’d administered calpol and sent him back in. I was livid at that accusation - especially after doing the right thing and not landing an unsettled kid on them!

To be fair it's very common for parents to give Calpol and send in....11am itis....so although you feel it's wrong to be asked it is wise of them to....if a child gets seriously ill the first step is to call for medical help where your asked about child's health in the 24 to 48 hours before and any medication given. Parents who keep quiet put their children at risk of misdiagnosis and overdose and it means the nursery can be shut for investigation. So they are trying to stop this.....and if the time your late coincides with how long it takes meds to work and baby settle it makes it more of a possibility. Not all parents are honest....illnesses typically include not saying when child has been sick, had a temperature and hiding rashes. The it's teething argument is used for every symptom including vomit. As well as I gave Calpol they don't have a temp....well know that's what Calpol does ...or they are happy playing now it can't be sickness....people never seen the vomit, play, eat vomit play cycle ...

Children get more bugs when exposed to others especially children who have no hand hygiene and lick everything....the bigger the setting the more bugs....in the long term it's better for their immunity and will improve.

Be glad they are so strict. We've had children throwing up this week and Covid and these children were clearly unwell before being sick.
Now the staff are coming down with it. I've started with D&V today and my son started being sick just after me.
The trouble with keeping children with a teenager who in is that they can be really sick. I'm willing to bet the staff at. your nursery are rarely off sick.

Sounds similar to mine - they won’t give Calpol and any temperature they are not allowed in/will phone to collect. Im
hoping the positives of that is my child will be around less bugs and illnesses… although so far he’s had a constant runny nose and had to have a week of antibiotics for a throat and ear infection and it’s only been 2 months 😩

@Rosebel you do make a fair point, prevention is better than cure. And just to clarify, if he was genuinely sick I wouldn’t send him in. I guess it’s just the frustration that all working parents must go through of trying to get through a day of work without being called to collect a sick child and trying to cause as minimal disruption at work. It’s a tricky balance. Plus obviously the sunk cost of nursery fees which just feels like money down the drain on the days they can’t go in or are sent home - but that’s life I guess.

@jannier you’re right I hadn’t thought about it in that sense. I’m shocked that people do that, and I’m ill myself at the minute so think just a bit more sensitive than usual so thought it was a personal accusation that we’re the sort of parents that would do that. My friend admitted that she’s dosed her kid up on calpol and sent them into nursery ‘to at least get a couple of hours of uninterrupted work done’ I told her that she’s the problem!

Like all things with being a parent, this too shall pass! The first winter at nursery was always gonna be tough - I just hadn’t realised how tough!

@jumperoozles sending sympathy! First winter at nursery really is a killer. So far we’ve managed to avoid any antibiotics, I feel like a time waster every time I take him in to be seen by the Dr but I don’t want to miss anything!

Ugh, it's a horrible time when they are constantly ill. We're on our second nursery and the policies you've explained sound pretty consistent with both. We have to collect if Calpol is given.

There is an acceptance of temperatures for teething, but there must be no other bug type symptoms and there should be other teething symptoms.

The thing with clingyness being an issue is that if one child is needing 1:1 care it affects their ability to safely care for the other children. Imagine eight children in a 1:4 ration room. If one member of staff is dealing with a clingy child, that leaves the other staff member covering seven children.

Yes. My first dc started nursery at 11 months and had EVERYTHING. I’d just started a new job and I was never in.

Standard sickness in my experience.. took us 6-12 months to build DD's up then we got hit with lockdown & had to start over again!

I would give daily Vit D droplets and/or multi vit' if she allows, anything to help them, especially as we are in winter.