Threat of safeguarding meeting with nursery

[Newtothis1221]

Hello! I was wondering if anyone could give any advice / has been through anything similar.

I’m upset and also mortified to even be writing this, but my husband picked our little boy (almost 11 months old) up from nursery this afternoon and was pulled in for a meeting. The room leader said that they’d noticed his nappy was soiled on their first change of the day (9.30 after been dropped off at 7.30) but it looked as though he’d been sat in it for ages and essentially said if it happens again, we will need to have a safeguarding meeting with the nursery.

It goes without saying but I always change his nappy first thing and before we set off to nursery so I can only think that it happened on the way there. I may well be overthinking it and it doesn’t help that I didn’t have the direct conversation with staff however my husband was taken back by it and I’m stuck thinking it seemed quite a heavy handed thing to say.

I understand the need to be so cautious with anything around safeguarding or anything that could even look like neglect but the room leader herself said it was the first time this had happened with our baby and I can’t help but think 2 hours since dropping him off is also a substantial amount of time!

A super long non-story really but I’m so tearful at the thought that anyone could even think we would neglect our baby and suggest a safeguarding meeting.

It may be the case that I do nothing and leave it but any advice (or even just similar stories to know this is common!) would be amazing xxx

Er there must be more to their concerns than a baby in a two hour old nappy?

Is his skin especially rashy today?

So they let him sit in his own filth for 2 hours and are objecting that you may have sent him in like that? Not sure I'd be laying any blame at your door tbh. Fair enough they have set changing times but surely if they smell a poo they don't wait til the set time to change. If anything I'd be questioning their processes in this.

That makes no sense. He could have done it within minutes either way of handover. Or in the two hours he was at nursery!

I'm confused, they didn't notice he had done a poo between 7.30 and 9.30?
That seems like their failure, not yours?

He is just recovering from hand foot and mouth so does have a faint rash left over, however nursery are aware (as that was also my first thought when husband said!)

It sounds like a massive overreaction of the nursery. I wouldn't worry about it.

So they're admitting they left him in a soiled nappy for two hours? Can you email them asking if that is indeed what they are saying, and letting them know that you be making OFSTED aware of their admission of such a lack of care.

I’d turn it back on to them and ask why they didn’t notice he was sat in a dirty nappy for 2 hours!

I'd expect poo to look like it'd been there ages after about 30mins so if they aren't checking regularly then it might look like that.

You could seek to clarify on drop off tomorrow that you change him every morning and please can they check more regularly if DC needs a change (or else it's a safeguarding issue with them).

All my DC have gone through phases of "stealth pooing" but as a one off (and without other concerns) I would think it a massive over reaction.

That’s bizarre. I remember when my ds was 11 months old, his nappy could be as dry as a bone one minute and the next it would be hanging off him. He could easily completely soil his nappy within 2 hours of going through a wet period. At that age it’s a case of changing it as required, might need changing 3 times in 2 hours or not at all for 3 hours. I would be questioning them on why they didn’t change him straight away if he was wet, and also suggesting why they would be concerned if his nappy was wet after a 2 hour period of not being changed. Massive overkill unless the nappy was smelling of old wee or something.

If I was you I would be ringing up for a chat to clarify what they are actually saying. It's a bit like Chinese whispers. At the moment it doesn't make sense as it seems l like they are the ones who have left him in the dirty nappy for too long

Possibly covering their own arses. I’d ask to speak to the manager and push back.

This is ridiculous! They are the ones leaving him in a dirty nappy. Scheduled changes for wet nappies, soiled should be changed right away! I would definitely question them on this.

They're the ones who fucked up here. DS key worker once missed a poo at the end of the day and it was taken very seriously. There's no way they should have left your DS in a soiled nappy long enough for it to get so messy. And even if he did turn up with a poo in his nappy, so what? It's happened to me before when I've realised as we got to nursery that he's done a poo on the way. It happens!

@Newtothis1221 Find a new nursery. After this I wouldn’t trust them.

There is a big difference between checking his nappy immediately after drop off and seeing a soiled nappy that looked like it had been like that for some time and checking a nappy two hours later and making that kind of assumption.

He could have pooed minutes after arriving.

And they should be noticing a poo smelling nappy and checking then changing it immediately. Not waiting till the set nappy changing times.

You've not misunderstood and they meant they'd be reviewing their OWN safeguarding procedures since they'd let a child sit in a dirty nappy for upto 2 hours? I'd be furious with them!

Personally I would be emailing them to say that you aren't happy waiting until it happens again, and you would like the safeguarding meeting to understand why the nursery left your son sitting around in a soiled nappy for potentially up to 2 hours. Turn it on them OP

Nappy rash can come up so quickly as well! We haven't left DS2 sitting in poo for any amount of time and yet his bum was bleeding today and he was wailing in distress at every change. He never normally gets nappy rash so I think it might have been something he ate (he's also pooing a lot more than usual). IMO there are three possible explanations here: a) there's more going on, b) someone's just had a safeguarding update and is a bit overzealous, or c) they've left him sitting in dirt for far longer than they should have and are trying to pass the blame. I'd say b is most likely. I'd call nursery and ask for clarification as to what was actually said, by who, and why.

Are they trying to cover their backs by putting the blame on you? Absolutely ridiculous. Why did they not notice it earlier?!

If this was our nursery we would think its some how something we missed maybe wasnt very smelly so we didn't smell it or something, we check nappies every 2 hours but if we know it needs doing sooner its done. How they can say its your fault when they missed it themselves for 2 hours is beyond me.

Totally ridiculous! I would be asking why they hadn’t checked his nappy for 2 hours? Surely he would have smelt? They can only be trying to cover themselves, unless your husband hasn’t understood correctly?

My son had awful nappy rash with HFM and still seems to get flare ups when it’s doing the rounds, even now that he’s 2 and not in nappies anymore!

You def need to talk to them to get to the bottom of it, it’s bizarre.

So in 2 hours nobody smelt it? I would be questioning them rather than the other way round!!

They left him in a soiled nappy. That isn’t ok. This is completely backwards. The reporting should be to nursery management.

My nursery checks nappies on the childrens arrivals, they would have smelt it surely?
Either way they are over reacting and they've let him sit in it for 2 hours if they think it's happened prior to drop off.
So I would be questioning this with them.
I'd also want a meeting with manager sooner rather than later.

If they had checked baby at 7.30 and found dried pooh then yes it could be an issue but not 2 hours later.......I'd be asking why they do not check for soiled nappies more frequently as baby's often pooh after a meal or milk and they appear negligent.