Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Flip

Original poster

2 year old still crying at drop off

11 replies

Acb1 · 09/11/2022 10:28

Hi there, Just looking for some advice from other parents who have maybe been through a similar situation.

My l.o is 2 - nearly 3 - and has been attending nursery 3 days a week for the last 8 months. She crys and begs me not go at drop off almost every morning and I'm not sure how much more I can take. Is this normal? I'm so worried I'm causing her some kind of long term emotional trauma and I'm in tears at work again. The nursery staff are all lovely and say that once I'm gone, she settles in around 5 mins. At handover, they tell me she's had a lovely day but I just wonder how true this is as I know they need to be diplomatic.

I'm just wondering whether I should persist or take her out and wait until she's abit older. Has anyone regretted persisting? And if so, why? I'm just so torn on what to do. Any advice would be gladly received.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DangerNoodles · 09/11/2022 10:32

Have you got the option of moving her to a different nursery? I picked my son up early from nursery once and caught one of the workers roughly handling him, I took him out and never looked back. He settled well into a new nursery.

DangerNoodles · 09/11/2022 10:35

Not saying your DD is being mistreated BTW, it's just 8 months is a long time for her not to have settled so I suspect the nursery isn't a good fit for her.

stewielouie · 09/11/2022 10:36

Have you asked her to tell you things she likes about nursery and things she doesn’t like? I think that might be easier for her to tell you than just asking her why she cries.
It might give you ideas what’s wrong. I think if my daughter hadn’t settled after that long I’d be wondering what was wrong / why it’s not the right fit and probably looking elsewhere.

OliveKisses · 09/11/2022 10:41

Following this thread. I'm in exactly the same situation and I'm becoming depressed. I get so anxious when it's my DD's nursery days cos it's a constant battle in the mornings, she won't eat or drink or cooperate with anything, just constantly screams and cries and says she wants to stay home.
I offered her a treat at the end of the day if she cooperates, and that worked for a short while but not anymore!
Sorry I can't offer any advice, but just letting you know that you aren't alone in this and I hope we find a solution soon ♥️

Original poster

Acb1 · 09/11/2022 10:43

It has been playing on mind that perhaps it is the nursery. Unfortunately, the nurseries around my area are all full and work from a waiting list. That's reassuring that your l.o settled in a different nursery though; I'll have a chat to her tonight as @stewielouie suggested and see if I can pinpoint what the issue is. There are times when she seems positive about nursery but I don't know if it's because we generally try to be v positive about it at home.

OP posts:

Original poster

Acb1 · 09/11/2022 10:50

I'm so sorry you're going through this too, it truly is awful 💔. I try to be so positive at drop off as I was worried she would pick up on this but it hasn't made a difference. I'm at a loss.

OP posts:

ThunderMoo · 09/11/2022 10:54

Have you tried going in with her? Mine likes showing me their breakfast and then I can go once she's got that.

Original poster

Acb1 · 09/11/2022 10:56

I have, tried this morning but I think this only made matters worse.

OP posts:

Nadal · 09/11/2022 11:01

Is she ok if you leave her anywhere else such as with family? My youngest had separation anxiety when I left him anywhere (even with family). So it might not be nursery itself

OliveKisses · 09/11/2022 12:35

It really is horrible! I've considered other nurseries too but this one is the highest rated in my area (and also the closest). All the other kids seem to be happy and settled there, so I don't think it's an issue with the nursery. I worry that sending her to another new environment may stress her out even more. I feel at a loss too.

Feel free to PM me anytime about this, I know how hard it is especially if you've got to deal with it on your own. X

Twizbe · 09/11/2022 12:42

My son would cry at drop off loads. He was fine in the baby room but downstairs he'd hate going.

After covid he asked to not go back and just go to his preschool that he liked. That was fine with us so moved him. His sister was still at nursery and loved it.

At the time he couldn't tell us what was going on. Now he can say it was the noise of the toilet. He hated the flush sound and that's what made him cry and not want to go.

Flip