Has anyone taken child back out of nursery

[Newtothis2345]

My 3yo dd has been going to nursery for about 2 weeks now first week she was good 2nd week she started being really naughty hitting other children etc I’m just thinking about taking her back out of nursery and start actual school when she’s of age has anyone done this before

I took mine out for 2 reasons. Firstly, he wanted a sandwich for lunch but they only did a hot lunch (fish pie 🤢 was one option) so he was starving when I picked him up. Secondly, he still napped up to going to school, but there was no where to nap in the older kids room, so he was hungry and knackered when I picked him up.
I took him out and put him in play school which was mornings only.

Two weeks isn't very long and it's an adjustment for them. I would leave it much longer before you make a decision.

Kangarookenny she is on afternoons only atm I just feel abit judged when I pick her up and they pull me to one side telling me about her behaviour with about 5 other teachers standing around

She has to learn to be with other children and to share. What are they doing to help settle her in, and get used to other children ?

Does your dd play with other children regularly ? Nursery is obviously not the only place where kids socialise but she might need social skills practice before going to school next year. Is this the first nursery that she's been to ?

I would suggest you look at why she is hitting and work on that. Better to sort that now before she gets to school and starts hitting everyone.

When she’s hitting other children they are giving her thinking time then to apologise but it’s giving me anxiety picking her up from school knowing what’s coming and another reason she drew a paining with red paint saying mommy bleeding the teacher asked me about this I said it must of been when I cut my finger which was not long ago but I feel like she’s being questioned and I’m being judged and blamed for her behaviour I just feel abit crap atm

Lol fish pie is one of the funniest reasons for taking a child out of nursery 🤣🤣

More seriously you know your child best. In school you can see a big difference in reception from those children who haven't been in nursery and those who have (especially at the moment with lots of the children missing out on groups due to covid) but as a parent it's your choice. Can you reduce hours maybe? Or delay and send next term?

That’s what I was thinking sending her next term when hopefully she’s grown out of the hitting other children do you think they are looking down on me for that ? Cause I sure feel like they are it’s been really playing on my mind

By this response it sounds as though you want to pull her from nursery due to your own issues, not actual issues with the nursery. Your 3 year old told the nursery you were bleeding, they need to check she isnt at risk, they dont know it was just a cut finger and not domestic violence. Lots of 3 year olds hit, bite etc, nurseries have seen it all. They need to communicate this with you to make sure everyone is on the same page, everyone working together to try work through the undesired behaviour. Unfortunately 3 year olds need to learn how to be with others and this doesnt happen magically by pulling out of nursery and avoiding situations.

Sounds tough but your child needs to learn.

Either learn now at nursery

Or learn in School - where your child could be excluded quite quickly.

I would keep her there and hope they can get her disciplined in time. Neither of my two ever hit other children. It's not normal for 3 year olds to go round hitting at all (sorry, but it really isn't and I say that as a mum of a special needs child who really struggles with his emotions)

What's wrong with fish pie for lunch?

Op's child doesn't eat fish pie and they didn't whack a quick sandwich. So no fish pie and no other alternative such as a sandwich meant she was starving all day.

I personally would keep DD in nursery. She isn't going to learn or be ready for school when she's only been there 2 weeks. Have you done any bay/ toddler classes before DD started nursery? It sounds like she isn't used to being with other children and there's nothing wrong with that but now she's in a setting she is she's struggling.

It's nothing against your parenting, nursery have to communicate to help make a plan. So DD would scream and cry going in up until last month (just turned 3) and nursery would always tell me she'd have had a great day no problems. Then last month when they moved her to pre school, the crying at drop offs stopped and she just went in with no issues.

Have you spoken to DD to try understand why she's hitting? If she's struggling with the transition she's at a age where she can tell you it upsets her, or she doesn't like sharing or she misses you. Then you can work together to make it easier for her. I know some parents draw little love hearts on their hand and little ones hand and say during the day if you're upset touch the heart and mummy will feel it and send you some love back

It always feels like Uk mums come under enormous pressure to push their dc through nursery to prepare for school, then put younger than average dc into reception, without any option to slow down a bit.

One of mine was struggling in preschool, and we dropped back to a 2 day week, and slowly built up the time. She did an extra preschool year and was well able in primary. She’s one of the older ones in her class but that’s been a point of pride.

I don’t think it’s good for dc to be in an environment where they’re seen as disruptive/a problem/bold, and particularly not for developmentally appropriate that are only an issue because the ratio of children and staff is too high.

I declined to put my eldest (subsequently diagnosed autistic ) ds in nursery because I could see that his high energy, high octane personality would be a problem. He wasn’t a naughty child but he would have been a handful. Waiting a year until he was ready to contain himself better was a good thing, and we did lots of shorter social activities in the meantime. It can be very hard for dc to shake their reputation in nursery if they start on the wrong foot.

She said fish pie was one option. They'd have had a veggie option.

Eating as a group and trying other foods really helps children to have a variety of tastes and expands their food repertoire so to leave over a fish pie is silly 🤷🏼‍♀️. There would have been other stuff to eat too and snacks!!

I'd pull her out, if she's unhappy and not enjoying it?

Try changing to morning sessions? Young children have more energy in the morning and less likely to get fed up and tired.

I pulled my son out of a local nursery, it just wasn't right for him. Found a lovely child minder, then sent to a different more out doors/forest school type place which he loved.

Have you tried discussing or role playing what to do when certain situations arise? For example what to do when someone snatches your toy or what to do when everybody is waiting for a turn on the slide and someone cuts in the line ? She might not know that she can go to the teacher and ask them to intervene (how's her speech?)

I'd be asking the nursery if there's any pattern to her behaviour. As a pp said she might find mornings easier.

Would she be better on a morning session?

My child would run wild on an afternoon, he's much better in the morning

I would keep her in, she needs to learn how to behave appropriately. Has she socialised much prior to nursery, have you taken her to playgroups, hobbies etc?

I wouldn’t say nursery will be judging you now but they will if you don’t work with them to get a handle on it.

Also I think it’s good for kids to try different foods and watch their peers eat, DD’s nursery is similar hot lunch only no packed lunches etc and sometimes she doesn’t like it but I’m happy she’s trying. They'll give her cheese and crackers if she refuses to eat any of it, which is rare tbh.

I would discuss your concerns with the nursery. They are used to dealing with unruly toddlers.
Most groups have one child who bites - it's really not that unusual.

I can't see how this will improve without sticking at it. If there are SEN issues, it's good to know now rather than later. Helps you choose the right primary school and get the support you'll need

She won't learn kibd hands sharing etc if she's not around other children. The setting maybe too big and overwhelming or she might be tiered in the afternoon so hits more.....but its only 2 weeks so far.

Where I live children start part time school in the school nursery for 3-4 year olds the September after their third birthday;they do a 3 hour morning session or the same in the afternoons and full days mon-Thursday and mornings on Fridays for those entitled to the 30 hours thing.

I think OP you're reading into this too much;if DD has done something she shouldn't have done then they need to tell you.I'm sure she'll settle,it's not been long.

As for the painting then their checking all is well;potentially that picture could have been done by a child who's seen someone seriously injured and has been traumatised by it;children can and do draw what upset them.

I would thank them for bringing it to my attention but turn it back on them and ask what their plan is to tackle it moving forward, as it only happens at nursery and is therefore their issue not really yours. If they give her “thinking time” what do they do after that to help her make sense of what her thoughts have been. If they are then forcing an apology, is she actually sorry? Why are the staff not identifying times these incidents are happening and then using their skills to avoid these situations and enable a more positive environment? If their process isn’t working it’s on them to try something else. Personally I disagree with forcing kids to apologise for a start, so I’m not really impressed with the staff skills as they are responsible for your dd during nursery, not you.
Try speaking to your dd and tole
Modelling like other people have said. How is her speech? Frustration often causes anger, as does sadness. Can she express her emotions safely with you? And can she there?