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Original poster

Wrong child given to me

160 replies

Astressedmumoftwo · 28/09/2022 21:13

Earlier today I went to pick up my son from nursery. A member of staff I'd never seen before appeared with a little girl who walked towards me out of the door. I quickly explained that I wasn't her mum and the worker apologised and took her back in. I had a chat with the manager after who explained that this new staff member had been mistakenly told I was this girls mum by another staff member.

He was very apologetic, said the staff member involved was very upset about it and said they'd make sure it couldn't happen again by implementing more safeguarding procedures. They seemed to take it seriously at least

What would you do?

OP posts:
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butterfliedtwo · 29/09/2022 08:03

Nothing. What are you after, their resignation?

girlmom21 · 29/09/2022 08:06

The procedure would be if you do not know which parent belongs to which child, you confirm which child the parent is there for. It is not complicated; the nursery will have these procedures but didn't use them.

The new staff member did check though. It was just a mistake.

lannistunut · 29/09/2022 08:08

girlmom21 · 29/09/2022 08:06

The procedure would be if you do not know which parent belongs to which child, you confirm which child the parent is there for. It is not complicated; the nursery will have these procedures but didn't use them.

The new staff member did check though. It was just a mistake.

No, the staff member asked someone else, but did not use the procedure the nursery will have in place for when you do not know.

Every nursery will have a procedure and I would suspect the staff member didn't follow it as the procedure will not say 'ask a colleague' but rather 'ask the parent x y z to clarify who they are'.

girlmom21 · 29/09/2022 08:13

No, the staff member asked someone else, but did not use the procedure the nursery will have in place for when you do not know.

But as far as she was concerned she did know - because that's what someone else had told her.

I'd assume the procedure has various points...

Siddalee · 29/09/2022 08:34

Could have been worse

www.express.co.uk/news/uk/434415/School-allowed-grandfather-to-take-wrong-girl-6-to-doctor-s

I was a Headteacher and remember reading this story in the press one weekend. My blood ran cold and the first thing we did on Monday morning was to run a system check to make sure this couldn't happen in my school!

WhatsWithAllTheCarrots · 29/09/2022 08:46

In our nursery, if a staff member doesn't 100% recognise the parent waiting at the door, they get someone else to come and have a look to identify which child is being collected. It happened a lot more during covid because people found it hard to recognise parents behind the masks - I had a haircut once and it confused them!

What it sounds like here is that there were two staff members at your nursery who didn't recognise you, but one thought they did and that was where the mistake happened.

This has obviously put the wind up the nursery. They've apologised - that's great. Just make sure you ask what safeguarding procedures they have put in place after they have reviewed the incident. The reality is that this little shock means they will all be extra careful from now on!

Absc · 29/09/2022 09:13

It’s a mistake and staff will have been spoken to and with any incident it would have been recorded. If your happy in general with the nursery I would leave it there. My sons nursery got temp closed from ofstead for policies not in place and ended up going into liquidation due to how long the process is. All parents lost their deposits and paid money. And this was a good nursery that has been running for 20 years.

HorseInTheHouse · 29/09/2022 10:01

Reminds me of something that happened where I live where a grandfather collected the wrong boy somehow, brought him home and gave him a snack. By all accounts the boy was perfectly happy and it all got sorted out. Quite concerning if you think about the worst case scenario, but just a funny story really. These things happen by accident. If you were a predator trying to pick up someone else's child from nursery I don't think you'd have much luck.

Verytirednow · 29/09/2022 10:21

I genuinely wouldn’t give it a second thought TBH !

TrashPandas · 29/09/2022 10:25

Police. Now.

SleeplessInEngland · 29/09/2022 10:30

The cowardly OP seems to have fucked off but clearly the nursery took it seriously. So forget it and move on.

DoubleBuggyDriver · 29/09/2022 10:37

What exactly do you want to do?

I doubt most parents will want to take a child home that isn’t there’s…. So on the off chance that it happens again with a different parent, I’m sure no one will take your child

frazzledbutcalm · 29/09/2022 10:39

Similar thing happened to me twice.

  1. Dd was 12 (ASD) - she was taken to a dad who came to collect his dd with same first name, 2 letters different in surname. Dd said nothing due to her ASD, obviously the dad was sensible enough to say that’s not his dd 🤣🤣
  2. I’d had sedation in hospital for a mild procedure - nurse came to take me to my dh who was waiting outside to collect me - I saw this random man walking down the corridor and nurse tried to give me to him 🤣🤣 Luckily, he didn’t want me so instead I was given to my husband who was a few feet behind 🤣🤣
It happens OP … see it for what it is. You got an explanation, you were told more safeguarding measures were being put in place. End of.
Autumn20222 · 29/09/2022 10:40

Either the people commenting on here don’t have children, or wouldn’t mind the scenario of a random person being given their child by mistake and being able to take their child away (not everyone is nice!)
I think this is appalling and I work in a nursery. We would never allow this to happen. Only key workers of specific children answer the door.

Moveoverdarlin · 29/09/2022 10:41

This exact thing happened to me last year, when I was wearing face mask. The nursery nurse looked mortified, a manager came out and apologised and I said no problem and made a joke that if she’s more well behaved than my own daughter I’d gladly do a swap, all had a polite little chuckle. Genuine mistake, everyone one was wearing masks but I’m not a child snatcher, so no harm done.

Joystir59 · 29/09/2022 10:43

Well, it takes a village to raise a child- does it really matter which child you take home as long as you take one of them?

Starlightstarbright1 · 29/09/2022 10:45

They have taken it seriously.

What do you think should happen?

Personally would be happy it is been dealt with.

WrongWayApricot · 29/09/2022 10:52

@Autumn20222 not a random stranger, another parent with a child at the nursery. If they take your kid you get to keep their kid as leverage.

user1471554720 · 29/09/2022 10:54

What staff member told the new person the incorrect information???

It looks like the established staff member gave incorrect information to the new member to try and make them look bad

Autumn20222 · 29/09/2022 10:58

The point is it COULD HAVE been a ‘random stranger’. Totally unacceptable and luckily the ending of this story is it was a mistake but not everything in the world is fluffy bunnies and rainbows unfortunately.

ReeseWitherfork · 29/09/2022 11:05

Autumn20222 · 29/09/2022 10:58

The point is it COULD HAVE been a ‘random stranger’. Totally unacceptable and luckily the ending of this story is it was a mistake but not everything in the world is fluffy bunnies and rainbows unfortunately.

The nursery wouldn’t let the child go to a random stranger. Experienced member of staff recognised OP and gave the nod, just a miscommunication which child.

Autumn20222 · 29/09/2022 11:12

If a child is already walking out to the ‘wrong parent’ how long do you think it would take for a stranger to take the child and get into a car? I work in a nursery. Trust me, not everyone who comes to a nursery door is who them seem.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 29/09/2022 11:12

At least it's easy to tell children apart. My Mum once picked her dog up from doggy daycare and they gave her the wrong black spaniel and Mum couldn't tell the difference. Grin She was wondering why her normally very obliging dog wouldn't jump into the car when a member of staff came running out with the correct dog.

candycaneframe · 29/09/2022 11:12

What would I do?

Laugh it off and get on with my day

Changechangychange · 29/09/2022 11:21

KingJulien · 29/09/2022 07:04

Although I would do nothing about this one off incident, it’s concerning that you say this will happen a lot? I’ve never had anything even close to this happen in the 16 years I’ve had kids at daycare, after school care, sports groups, crèche etc.

Show quote history

I’ve had swimming teachers try to give me the wrong kid, random children trying to come home with me from ASC (you stand at the door and the teacher shouts their name, a little girl came forward instead of DS). School memorably lost DS for about 30mins when he decided to follow his best friend to Lego club instead of coming to the door to be collected, apparently the Lego club teacher didn’t notice the extra child.

These are minor mix ups, nobody is trying to steal anyone’s child and it is sorted out in about 2 mins.