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Original poster

Nursery Dilemma

9 replies

courtneyld · 15/09/2022 11:25

Just hoping for some advice. My daughter who is 3 started nursery last Thursday first 2 days went well but on Monday of this week when I asked the teacher how she got on she said a bit up and down but ok when I asked my daughter she said she took playdough of someone to make a birthday cake 🙈 and got told off and put on thinking step and she was crying I thought odd the teacher didn't tell me and thought was a bit harsh as she was still settling in I don't mind the thinking step method but I don't know as it's my first child are u normally told about it? And if your child was put on it?
Then the next day when my daughter was to go in she really panicked and died before she went in which isn't like her as she was fine when she went playgroup every time the previous year
So I felt awful leaving her but she came out again and seemed ok but she told me she went to wash her hands in the toilet and a teacher was changing a boy in there and shouted 'get out' at her when she tried to come in which I don't think is an appropriate way to talk to a 3 years old I'm not sure I want her going back there any one got any advice? I'm definitely going to talk to them she's not gone in today

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Original poster
courtneyld · 15/09/2022 11:32

Omg ' cried' not died 🙉🙉

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Skinnermarink · 15/09/2022 11:40

I’d probably speak to them about it, I work with three year old and while it’s important to lay down some rules about listening and boundaries, I don’t speak to them harshly unless it’s safety related like they’re passing about by the road or similar. I’d ask what else she did that they thought she should go on the step, that need more reasoning than that.

Original poster
courtneyld · 15/09/2022 11:50

Skinnermarink · 15/09/2022 11:40

I’d probably speak to them about it, I work with three year old and while it’s important to lay down some rules about listening and boundaries, I don’t speak to them harshly unless it’s safety related like they’re passing about by the road or similar. I’d ask what else she did that they thought she should go on the step, that need more reasoning than that.

Thank you! Yeah I have a phone call with the teacher later I will ask her about it
Just so out of character for her to be scared & upset to go in to nursery never had this when she was at pre school she used to run in every day and never said anything bad about it
My daughter is very open so I feel she would of told me if she did something else wrong but will definitely make sure I check

OP posts:
SunshineClouds1 · 15/09/2022 16:03

There's been afew threads lately mentioning these thinking mats/steps.
Nurseries aren't meant to use time out spaces.
They should be moving the child away and talking through what happened.

Over reaction of the nursery worker for the above I think, children take off each other all the time and just need reminded to be abit patient and share etc.

I don't know rules regarding the changing area/toilets but agree that's not how she should be spoken to.

workinmums · 15/09/2022 16:14

Have a word with the nursery manager about your concerns. I think its a bit harsh especially shouting get out at a 3 year old.

mynameiscalypso · 15/09/2022 16:16

I wouldn't like nursery using time outs/thinking steps for my 3 year old because I don't think they work. But I wouldn't expect to be told if he'd been misbehaving particularly. They grab toys off each other all the time as far as I can tell.

Anon778833 · 15/09/2022 16:17

Some nurseries are horrible. My now 13 year old daughter was yanked by the arm by one vile member of staff - I was furious. If I knew a nursery was using a time out space and shouting I’d move them. You won’t change the culture.

Nodancingshoes · 16/09/2022 14:02

Nurseries shouldn't use a thinking step/chair at all - too similar to the old 'naughty step'. We do use Time out sometimes but there is a specific place for this and we only use it when other methods have been used and didn't work! I would ask to speak to someone to clear this up tbh and ask that they don't use this 'thinking step' with your child

Nodancingshoes · 16/09/2022 14:02

Sorry - that should say there ISN'T a specific place for time out

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