Ds not doing anything in nursery

12 replies

fari2014 · 08/09/2022 09:46

My son is very upset in nursery and just stays near the door crying. The other thing he does is hold nursery staffs hand and take them to the door or Windows. He was the same in playgroups I took him in. Anyone got any advice what I should do now?

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flyingant · 08/09/2022 10:58

How do you know he isn't doing anything? Have the nursery staff told you that? Is he near the door crying all day?
I know this is obvious, and I don't mean to be flippant, but does he have to be at nursery? Are there any alternatives?

Sprogonthetyne · 08/09/2022 11:01

Maybe the environment is just to loud and full of other kids for him. How is he in smaller groups, say if you had a play date with 2/3 other kids? If he's OK with that he might get on better at a childminder, if he needs to be in childcare.

Helgadaley · 08/09/2022 11:11

Have nursery staff told you that he cries all day? Aren't the children outside playing a lot of the time? It's unusual for a nursery to keep children inside.

Original poster

fari2014 · 08/09/2022 11:20

His been going for half an hour a day this week. Nursery staff saying his not settling. His not taking any interest in the toys. He stands near the door. All children this week are doing half an hour a day to ease them in nursery.

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QuestionableMouse · 08/09/2022 11:23

30 mins really isn't very long to settle and get used to everything. See how he does with a longer time period, and ask the staff to encourage him to play/distract him.

Obviously if he's still upset in say two weeks, then look at other options. But I'd bet he just needs time to adjust to the new environment.

GoAround · 08/09/2022 11:23

Half an hour is ridiculous, barely enough time for him to know where he is! And presumably he’s also just started. I wouldn’t worry yet, when he goes to his full hours he’ll probably be fine as he’ll have time to actually settle.

SalviaOfficinalis · 08/09/2022 11:23

I think half an hour a day is more unsettling tbh because he’s used to you coming back really quickly so he’s just waiting for that. Hopefully once he’s there for longer he’ll realise he’s staying for a bit and will settle more.

My DS is on his second week of nursery now and transition is really hard. He still cries at drop off but then has a nice time once we’ve gone.
The first time he went for a full day he cried in the afternoon - probably thought we were never coming back :( but now he knows he’s there all day he’s fine.

gogohmm · 08/09/2022 11:29

30 mins is not long enough, he also needs to be included into an activity eg singing, snacks etc. mine were left for the session from the start, worked fine (2 hour session)

Hotpinkangel19 · 08/09/2022 11:38

30 minutes is no where near enough time at all, and I'm a nursery nurse! We would recommend a morning or afternoon to start with.

SunshineClouds1 · 08/09/2022 13:04

Half an hour to settle is ridiculous, no wonder he's upset, no clue what's going on.

My son started with hour half, increased to two after a couple of days then done the half day sessions.

NurseryNurse10 · 09/09/2022 12:28

Going by my own experiences in nurseries, I would look at a childminder who has a smaller group of children or a nanny.

Groovee · 09/09/2022 14:05

It’s hard when a child is so distressed. But the staff need use distraction to help him. The other day I kept singing the wheels on the bus to a child then we managed to get the child settled in the sandpit, they had snack, played more, came for lunch then was annoyed that mummy was already back as they were having fun now. It’s hard when so many are settling and upset but it’s part of the job to support the children and the parents.

Maybe ask the nursery for a plan going forward. Hopefully soon your wee one will be running into nursery and be cross when it’s the weekend.

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