Weekly phone calls from nursery to pick kids up

[Ladybyrd]

Can someone with their kids in nursery give me a bit of perspective because I'm starting to lose the plot.

We have 2 kids at nursery. Every week lately the nursery seem to be phoning to get me to pick one of them up, and more often than not, take the other one home because "they look a bit peaky", or are being clingy, but no temperature, diarrhoea, vomiting, etc. We love our kids, and would do anything for them, but is it really normal for them to spend more time at home than they are there? I feel like I'm being taken for a mug.

They've just ramped up their prices by 20% with very little notice too. I am lucky in that I'm self employed and so haven't had to sack myself (yet!) but this means all weekend im scrambling trying to catch up, getting up early, and working late into the night. It's just making life really miserable. My partner has taken time off work to look after them, and is self employed too, but it's a different sector with no flexibility, so if you can't do the prescribed hours, you just won't get paid. Also, if they have to ring him, it takes 2 hours for him to get to the nursery as ge works some distance away.

I appreciate kids get poorly, and there have been genuine instances, but I do think they are taking the Mickey around half the time lately. They used to administer calpol but now the go-to solution is to ring me and it's just happening too much.

The only reason I stuck with them after they increased the prices is because they said they were doing it to look after the staff, but from the amount leaving, and how over worked the remainder are, I don't think that's happening at all.

What would you do? I'm thinking of asking to see the attendance record and voicing concerns over the amount of phone calls, but part of me just thinks bite the bullet and take dd out (ds starts school in a couple of weeks anyway). Or am I being unreasonable?

Taking the piss.

How old are they both?

I would probably go as far as emailing asking for the sickness policies. And advising the manager if one child is ill you don't expect to take them both home.
And you only expect to take one home if generally ill, temp etc.
I'd also mention you can't catch UTI's.
I would say how you feel honestly,

@Pinkbananas01 That's really helpful and that's what they used to do, but lately is just pick up by default and not even revealing they don't have a temperature etc until I get there.

My partner's going to ring on Tuesday and speak to the manager.

@SunshineClouds1 Partner is going to do it as he's used to managing people and I'm not much of a peopler myself. I do a mean bullet point list though.

They're 2 and 4.

Yeah you definitely have to develop a harder line with them. I probably get a call every other day for my DS but very often I have to tell them to get on with it. “A bit peaky” is royally taking the piss when you’re probably paying them best part of £100 a day. I want DS to have a temp of 39 or some serious vomming before I’ll pop and get him.

Unfortunately I'm the sort to take it 99 times then explode on the 100th, and by that point I struggle to keep my composure.

Yes, I can relate to this! Two kids at nursery and at least one is sent home every other week. Almost every time, I bring them home and they are FINE! On the last occasion, I went through a check list - no temp? No vomiting? Child happily playing? Then no, I’m not collecting just because you think they are maybe unwell.

I know what you mean.
I sometimes think they make you feel bad for them being ill there so you just go get them.
But if you know your child isn't ill and are showing no signs on pick up, question it.
A lot of questions.
So what's happened?
What time did it happen?
What did you go to help them?
Have they said they feel unwell?
If they bring your other child out;
So what's wrong them?
Same questions as above

If they are adamant to bring home.
Do your own tests etc
Email them, so x and x are actually fine no sickness what so ever, no temp, no diarrhoea, can you please clarify again what happened as I would x x and x.

Just start being snotty.

I was told*

@SunshineClouds1 Yeah, I've just been too flimsy. It's the Achilles heel though isn't it? "Do I really need to pick my ill child up?". "Well of course you do, they're ill." It just makes you feel like a bad parent for questioning that.

And then they run out all smiles, right as rain. Not every time, but most of it.

I think asking what their temperature is and how many times they've vomited/sharted is definitely the way to go.

That sounds ridiculous! In the year and a half my son was at nursery (admittedly only two days a week) I never had to pick him up once!

My sons nursery were like this. Especially when they had staffing shortages! I used to challenge them on the phone and say can we review in an hour. Make it clear you are working too, they might see you as an easy target.

Sounds like BS to me. Mine both went/go to a playgroup that takes them from age 2.5 (mine went from age 3 for 3 days a week) during school hours. I'm a very local sahm and they know this so I'd be the ideal candidate to 'offload' to. My eldest was sent home between age 3 and starting school once, with one other occasion where I had a text to warn me that she 'wasn't herself' and they'd given calpol. I rang to ask if they wanted me to collect her, and they said not unless I wanted to.

My youngest is still there and literally the only time I've collected her early was that day in July where it was disgustingly hot and knowing they had no air con and are a small building I offered to go and get her at lunchtime, as did a few other parents, to ease the load plus the kids were all miserable anyway. I only sent her because it was her last day and she didn't want to miss the fun stuff and they play that they'd been working hard on putting together. They knocked off my paid hours that week (15 are funded) even though I didn't expect them to.

Obviously both have had other days off but that's when I've chosen to keep them home because they're unwell.

I'd find another nursery if I were you!

Thanks all. My partner spoke to the nursery manager today, and whilst she was apologetic, explaining repeatedly that they only ever act in the children's best interests has rubbed me up the wrong way even more. I still think it boils down to staffing shortages, because they say it, repeatedly, in front of me!

When they called me to pick up ds the other week, who had a UTI, they told me dd was coming down with it too. She had a runny nose.

Taken in isolation, none of these incidents are a big deal, but adding them up it's become a big problem. Nah. I think the writing is on the wall. Thanks for your opinions - much appreciated.

Yeah that would get my back up also.

What is your plan?

I'm torn between one last strike and that's it or just moving to a new nursery. I'm only torn because some of the staff are absolutely brilliant with our kids and really lovely to deal with.

I was pretty annoyed at the 20% increase in fees this year. Do you know many people who had a 20% payrise? And I do not believe that is being passed on as was stated in black and white at the time.

I haven't kicked up a stink until now, so part of me says one last chance, but it has taken them taking the piss to the enth degree for us to get here, and I don't know if I can get past it.

You can't catch a UTI so that's rubbish. It's not unusual for my nursery to ring and say that my daughter is not herself even if there is no temp or anything they can put their finger on. They always say first that I don't need to come and get her though. I think it's a good sign that they know her so well and it gives me chance to prioritise my day incase I do have to fetch her. I'd say half the time she's actually ill and half the time she was just having a quiet half hour and I don't hear anything again. Can't believe they made you wait 48 hours after their food made him sick. We had a similar incident with cous cous and they didn't consider it actual vomiting, she just reacts badly to the texture and gags. They just told me because they had to change her clothes.

With the price increases I'd start looking for a new nursery. You're clearly not happy and you're paying them a fortune

like pp, in 18 months I have only been called twice when he has been vomiting

DTwins nursery went through a phase of this last month. It was infuriating.

"They're hot"

Yes. It's 40 degrees. We're all hot.

"They are reading that they have a temperature"

So I'd drop everything, arrive to collect two perfectly happy children, who felt no hotter than if they'd been running around, and as soon as we got home and I checked, their temperatures were completely normal.

After the third time this happened, I let the nursery know that I'd been out and bought a £50 fancy pants thermometer, and that on each occasion, they did not register a temperature by the time I got home. Hasn't happened since.

I'm all up for picking them up when necessary, but if they're clingy and a bit miserable, sorry, that's part of what you're paid to deal with... they're toddlers, they're not going to be like Mary Poppins every day. There were also two occasions of "rashes" which I needed to come and collect them for, which both times had virtually disappeared by the time of my arrival. They give no time for anything to settle, they just call immediately, and if they had just given it half an hour, they'd realised the call was pointless.

They only go 3 days a week, since the start of this year, and in this 8 months I reckon I've picked one/both of them up at least 6 times.

They still go because in every other sense it's an excellent nursery and DTwins are really happy there. The calls seem to have stopped for now.

Elder DS attended a different nursery, full time, from 3mths to 3.5yrs and I was never called to collect him.

Thank you. Our son is about to start school, but there is absolutely bugger all chance we'll be parting with more than £8k a year for our daughter to spend between 40 & 90% of the time at home. That's how bad it's got in the last few months. Also I've just seen the latest Ofsted rating, and it really isn't very good.