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Weekly phone calls from nursery to pick kids up

44 replies

Ladybyrd · 28/08/2022 15:55

Can someone with their kids in nursery give me a bit of perspective because I'm starting to lose the plot.

We have 2 kids at nursery. Every week lately the nursery seem to be phoning to get me to pick one of them up, and more often than not, take the other one home because "they look a bit peaky", or are being clingy, but no temperature, diarrhoea, vomiting, etc. We love our kids, and would do anything for them, but is it really normal for them to spend more time at home than they are there? I feel like I'm being taken for a mug.

They've just ramped up their prices by 20% with very little notice too. I am lucky in that I'm self employed and so haven't had to sack myself (yet!) but this means all weekend im scrambling trying to catch up, getting up early, and working late into the night. It's just making life really miserable. My partner has taken time off work to look after them, and is self employed too, but it's a different sector with no flexibility, so if you can't do the prescribed hours, you just won't get paid. Also, if they have to ring him, it takes 2 hours for him to get to the nursery as ge works some distance away.

I appreciate kids get poorly, and there have been genuine instances, but I do think they are taking the Mickey around half the time lately. They used to administer calpol but now the go-to solution is to ring me and it's just happening too much.

The only reason I stuck with them after they increased the prices is because they said they were doing it to look after the staff, but from the amount leaving, and how over worked the remainder are, I don't think that's happening at all.

What would you do? I'm thinking of asking to see the attendance record and voicing concerns over the amount of phone calls, but part of me just thinks bite the bullet and take dd out (ds starts school in a couple of weeks anyway). Or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BeanieTeen · 28/08/2022 16:25

I’d tell them how you feel about this and see how they respond. I personally don’t think it’s acceptable. Obviously if a child is ill they should be sent home. But obviously they are not going to be ill every week to the extent that they need to be sent home. Clearly they are taking the piss with this somewhat.
If nothing changes, I’d definitely find a different nursery.

Tee20x · 28/08/2022 16:30

Personally, if no temperature and they are not unwell I wouldn't be taking them home, esp as often as you are saying. Imagine if DH was the same as you and couldn't make the pick ups, what would happen then?

downwiththebees · 28/08/2022 16:31

That does sound unusual. In two years I think I have been called once (when ds threw up everywhere 😬). I would talk to them first, but be looking for alternative childcare if it continues.

Hugasauras · 28/08/2022 16:36

I've never had to pick DD up!

Shoopshoopshoopshoopshoop · 28/08/2022 16:40

I’ve picked DC2 up a lot but she’s super prone to temperatures and in covid times that was fun! DC1 only a handful of times in 4 years.

No temperature or obvious illness/distress then they should stay at nursery. Yours sound a bit rubbish OP I’d be looking elsewhere.

Hopeandlove · 28/08/2022 16:40

I only pick mine up if a temp or D and V.

my sons nursery used to say they would only give calpol if a parent was on their way. Same with inhaler the Gp wrote them a letter and it stopped as he had constant ear infections and was infectious and needed calpol regularly when infected - he just wrote it was to help his hearing spoke to the head of the nursery and it was all fine

FASDE1517 · 28/08/2022 16:44

Both mine went to nursery from 12 months to school and I picked one up when he'd thrown up once and one up to take to A&E when he cut his head open. I wouldn't be impressed with yours at all!

SquigglePigs · 28/08/2022 16:49

That sounds ridiculous to be honest. DD has been at nursery two and half years (minus covid closures) and we've had to pick her up twice - both for high temps that they'd checked when she clearly wasn't feeling well.

They did once call me around lunchtime on a Friday to let me know she was a bit under the weather, no temp and they didn't want me to come and get her but they knew we had plans to go away for the weekend so wanted to warn us she was 100% so we knew before we picked her up.

I'd be pretty unhappy in your shoes. Definitely worth a chat with them about their attendance policy and then depending how that goes, perhaps/probably looking for alternative care.

Firefly89 · 28/08/2022 16:57

I sent my DS to a nursery that did this a lot! Every couple of months price went up and they would ask me to collect him every other week usually because of a snotty nose. I wouldn’t have minded if he was generally unwell but he was fine in himself.
also the staff weren’t seeing any of the increased money same as yours they had a high turn over.
I got annoyed as having to take so much time of work and obviously work were annoyed. I changed him to preschool as soon as he turned 2 and have never had a call to pick him up and prices haven’t gone up either.
If I was you I would look at other nurseries/ preschool if they are old enough. Especially as your ds will be in school. My ds has been a lot happier in his new preschool and will hopefully be at school with some of his preschool friends

Isaidnoalready · 28/08/2022 17:01

Looking peaky? Ahh thanks for letting me know call me if anything develops and a firm goodbye

Bit clingy? Bless they all get like that call me if they throw up...

BeanieTeen · 28/08/2022 17:08

Looking peaky? Ahh thanks for letting me know call me if anything develops and a firm goodbye

This has made me think - do they actually ask you to pick up or are they just letting you know?
We’ve had this with school before and I know it’s because some parents have a habit of making a big fuss when their children have come home with a headache or the sniffles - ‘why didn’t you call me? He should have been sent home ra ra ra…’
Maybe they are just covering their arses a bit with this because they’ve had similar overdramatic reactions from other parents.

Ladybyrd · 28/08/2022 17:09

*Looking peaky? Ahh thanks for letting me know call me if anything develops and a firm goodbye

Bit clingy? Bless they all get like that call me if they throw up...*

😂😂😂

I'm so tired/upset I didn't know whether it was me, but I'm glad to see it isn't. They never used to call but it has been literally every single week this month, and then they're off for days then off we go again.

I suspected I was being taken for a mug and clearly l was right!

One day they force ds to eat an egg sandwich he said he didn't like. He threw up, I had to go and pick him up, and then he was banned for 48 hours!

Oh my god, this is bloody ridiculous 🤦‍♀️

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Ladybyrd · 28/08/2022 17:11

No, they aren't just letting me know. They are telling me to come now and then trying to get me to take both. The other week they tried to persuade me that dd had caught ds's UTI.

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 28/08/2022 17:12

Peaky and clingy can just be tired or needing a drink or a nap.

Your nursery is being U.

Nekomata · 28/08/2022 17:14

I wonder if they are struggling with staff ratios and see you as an easy target as you work from home. With the price hike, staffing problems and constantly calling you, I'd maybe look around at what other nurseries are available.

IvyPlant · 28/08/2022 17:14

My little boy has been in nursery since the age of 1, he's 3 now, so two years. In the beginning, he picked up a fair few colds and was sent home a fair amount, but this was at the height of covid and every single cough was GO HOME, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT £200 UNTIL A PCR TEST HAS BEEN TAKEN BY HIM.

By early 2021, it had calmed down and I've only ever been called about 3 times: once when he tripped and accidently split his head on the corner of a wall; once when he had an allergic reaction to oat milk; once when he had a temperature that didn't go down after 30 mins in a cool place.

We've moved house earlier this year and my little boy has started a new nursery as we moved out of the area and they have never called me.

Personally, I would check your contract to see what instances a child can be sent home for being unwell. It sounds like maybe they don't have enough staff to cover numbers and they are calling you because they know you'll come. If there's no temperature/blood/vomit, what exactly are the reasons they are giving? If it's just "looks unwell" then I'd bring a thermometer with me to check when I went to pick them up. How old are your children?

I know it's doubly frustrating because you still have yo pay for the session even if you pick them up part way through the day.

How often have you kept them off sick versus how many times have nursery called you to pick them up early?

Piffle11 · 28/08/2022 17:15

Do they have more DC than they can manage/be bothered to manage? It sounds to me like they're trying to offload a few!

I never got called to pick up my DC from nursery.

mathanxiety · 28/08/2022 17:19

The management is crap so the staff are leaving in droves, and the remaining workers can't handle a child who is crying, etc

They are taking the piss, probably inadequate, and you need to find a new nursery.

Ladybyrd · 28/08/2022 17:22

How often have you kept them off sick versus how many times have nursery called you to pick them up early?

That's why I say it's probably about 50/50. I wouldn't send them in if they have a temperature, are obviously poorly and in distress, and I adhere to the 48 hour d&v rule. Even if it were just the time I keep them off it would be a lot but add on all these phone calls - they've barely been in this month - neither for a full week - because then I get a phonecall.

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DappledThings · 28/08/2022 17:38

Even at the height of covid I think we got one call to pick them up due to being a bit peaky.
. Other than that over 2 children in from age 1 to 4.5 I've had two calls ever; one for vomiting and one for knocking a tooth out so she was pretty upset. Yes, I think they are taking the piss.

mathanxiety · 28/08/2022 17:49

I would bet a lot of money that they only call parents who they know are available to take children off their hands and make their staff/children ratio and workload manageable.

mrsed1987 · 28/08/2022 17:51

My son has been at nursery 2 years and I've never had to pick him up early. They rang me once 30 mins before pick up to say he isn't well and they had given him capol.

I'd ask them about it?!

Pinkbananas01 · 28/08/2022 18:00

Childminder here - only send children home if they are clearly unwell I.e. high temperature, rash, D& V. if they are a bit pesky or not quite themselves I usually text parents to give them a heads up that if they become worse I may need their child picked up early. Don't expect the parents to drop work & collect at this but gives them time to let work know it might happen/arrange someone else possibly to collect.

Pinkbananas01 · 28/08/2022 18:05

I'd ask nursery, it's possible they know you'll always pick up if asked so are tak8ng advantage. Had this with my DS at school for a while when both he & school cottoned onto me working at home & being able to collect quickly, he had a lot of sore tummies or headaches for while which dramatically recovered once home, after a couple of times returning him to school an hour later it stopped.

Ladybyrd · 28/08/2022 18:06

I would bet a lot of money that they only call parents who they know are available to take children off their hands and make their staff/children ratio and workload manageable.

Yes, I'm sure they do. The upshot of that is I'm working until midnight, up again at 5, and working all weekend so we get no time together as a family, and paying them £800-odd quid a month for the privilege.

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