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Nurseries

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Original poster

Autism and nursery help!

19 replies

Mumto1yearold · 05/08/2022 20:34

Hi my little boy has just turned 2 he is under diagnosis for autism ( professionals have confirmed he is autistic ) but he doesn’t have the official diagnosis yet. I am starting him at nursery in September and I am just so worried.
he doesn’t interact with other kids, he is non verbal, and has spd.
iam just so worried that he won’t feel comfortable, won’t interact will sit alone for hours or even that the other children will be overwhelming for him.
it sounds stupid but I am feeling sick at the thought of him going. I want the best for him and I’m hoping it will be the best thing for him and he will come along and progress at nursery but I can’t help the thought of my little boy be upset all day.

OP posts:
Anon778833 · 05/08/2022 20:36

You need to make sure that the nursery knows that he is on the pathway for dx and also that they have told you they will be able to meet his needs. Have they told you what will be in place for him when he starts?

Louie26 · 05/08/2022 20:39

I won't lie to you he will be upset but it will
Get better
Keep the nursery informed of everything even small things
They will help, he will be assigned a keyworker who will look after him and be your go to person. Nursery staff amazing and can do so much and are really unappreciated for the work they do

Please don't worry just keep talking and it will help. I'm sure the senco will want information from you but it will be to help guide and support you
The first few weeks will be tough but trust the process and he will do well

Original poster
Mumto1yearold · 05/08/2022 20:49

I went today and had a meeting with the nursery they are all lovely are fully aware of his needs and his sen worker has sent over his plans and speech therapist has also shared his plan with nursery.
I just worry that he has always had one on one with me, I know him inside out and feel can nursery workers ( although they are brilliant) really give him attention when they have a number of kids to look after. I did say to them today if he sits alone and doesn’t seem happy after a few weeks to make me aware and I can’t bare the thought of that.
mum prob been dramatic, he’s my first and for 2 years I’ve done everything to understand his needs and I just feel upset handing him over to someone who doesn’t know him.

OP posts:
Abcdefgh1234 · 05/08/2022 21:28

Both of my boys are autistic. And i put them in nursery since they were 2yo. Nursery was the best thing that happened to them. Language developing, social and communication also develop in nursery. Every kids are different. My eldest he is fine since first day in nursery, but my youngest he need months before he settled. He is 2yo now and very enjoy nursery.

Sevenfifty · 05/08/2022 21:36

Hi, I teach nursery and am school SENCO and we currently have two little boys with severe autism. You need to start pushing for an EHCP for him so that he can have a 1:1 member of staff to work on his SALT targets and slowly work towards some social interaction, introduce the first stages or PECS if appropriate etc. It’s a 20 week process (in my local authority) and lots of nurseries like to wait until children are school age before applying. In my authority you can apply for one yourself and the authority will contact nursery for their contribution. If it turns out that mainstream is not going to meet his needs then you often need an EHCP for specialist provisions so you’re best to get cracking with it.

Choconuttolata · 05/08/2022 21:37

Is there anyway you can do an extended phased introduction. With my autistic son who was non-verbal at age 3 we were allowed to stay in the nursery for half an hour to help him settle and gradually built up the time we left him for over weeks because he would get too distressed at first. Also make sure that the same staff members work with him and get them to play with you and him or at least be in a room with you and him a few times before you leave him with them. Having changes of staff did upset my son, he was better once he had consistent people.

Fleur405 · 05/08/2022 21:43

My son had additional needs (medical and sensory) and a learning disability. Our nursery were amazing with him and he loved it there. It may take some adjustment but the most important thing is to have good communication with nursery and make sure the care plan is updated as often as required.

Bobbybobbins · 05/08/2022 21:45

Both of my DS are autistic and went to nursery. Both had funding for 1-1 support for about half their time in the nursery - ask nursery to contact the LEA and apply for this. Both mine also now have EHCPs at school (one in a mainstream one in a special school) which we applied for while they were at nursery.

autienotnaughty · 05/08/2022 22:30

Ask nursery to apply for Sen funding. My ds had it before he got his diagnosis or ehcp he had 12 hours a week one to one. Is your child bothered by other children or happy to play alongside. It may not be an issue for him. You need daily reports back of how he's doing as well as observations on his behaviour. My ds has asd and loved nursery.

Original poster
Mumto1yearold · 06/08/2022 07:28

Thank you for all your replies. I just feel overwhelmed as I feel there’s been little support for him so far and I’m basically teaching myself by talking to other parents/following pages on instagram ect. I’m sure the nursery know more than me about asd but I have tried my best to fully understand all my sons needs. I will make sure I have all the talks I need to with the staff and he has been allocated one member who is with him all times and who I report too. @Sevenfifty im sorry I’m going to sound stupid what is a ehcp this has never been mentioned to me before so I’ll be sure to read up and mention it on my next visit

OP posts:
gogohmm · 06/08/2022 07:40

My dd is autistic picked up at a 2 year old check up (diagnosis took a further 6 months) she went to specialist nursery from 2.5 with 1:1

Sevenfifty · 06/08/2022 12:25

An Education, Health and Care Plan. It’s like the old Statements (if you’ve heard of those). It would mean that the school/nursery get money to support him to reach targets (which are set by educational Psychologists and speech and language therapists along with his nursery workers). They would use the money to provide a 1:1 for him.

The process would start with you or nursery filling in the form and then, if they decide to assess, there would be a set time for him to be seen by an Ed psych and speech therapist, possibly paediatrician if appropriate. Then someone at the authority would pull together all the information from all parties and reports and you’d all have a meeting to agree some targets. Then it would go to panel and be decided if he gets the EHCP or not.

It would follow him throughout his education as long as he needs it and would be reviewed every year.
it means he gets priority choice of what school he goes to etc. If you look on your authority’s Local Offer site then info will be on there.

autienotnaughty · 06/08/2022 12:54

Also local authorities often have a support service for parents of Sen children and their educational health care plan. It's worth having a look so they can give advice if needed. You can apply for ehcp yourself or nursery can before or after diagnosis. You may also be entitled to disability living allowance and two year funding and possibly carers allowance (means tested) .

HSKAT · 07/08/2022 12:29

Hi,

We're currently on the pathway for a diagnosis, we started our son at nursery when he was 2 also.
Honestly, it has been the best thing we have ever ever done for him.

We were also worried how he would settle, the other kids etc, not being able to speak his needs but he has done amazing.

It took two weeks for there to be no tears at drop off. Don't let his put you off it's ofc very normal.
Nursery workers are magic. They understand a lot more than you think. My sons relationship with his nursery workers is lovely, he cuddles them as soon as he sees them.

My sons social skills have came on leeps and bounds and it's lovely to eventually watch him interact when I pick him up.
I also couldn't bare the thought of him being alone whilst everyone else played but it does come.
His speech, it's came. Whilst not where most 3 year olds are he still doesn't shut up now.

We have quarterly meetings, discussing his progress, his needs, getting things in place so once you have both settled with your new routine ask for this if they don't already advise to do so.

Good luck!

Original poster
Mumto1yearold · 07/08/2022 16:31

Thank you so much @HSKAT I was getting upset reading that thinking I hope that’s how our nursery journey goes! I’m so glad ur little one took to it so well and is now loving every minute of it.
his nursery team seem lovely from our meeting and they do seem to know what they are talking about when it comes to autism.
do you think been at nursery helped with speech?
does your little one now interact with the other children at all?

thank you

OP posts:
HSKAT · 07/08/2022 16:53

Nursery has 100% helped his speech and I've also done a lot of work at home with him.
Not sure what you've been told already but repeating a word 3 times,
X look at the red bus
Wow that's a fast bus
Here comes the bus
This worked really well for us along with nursery rhymes, you'll be sick of the sound of yourself but honestly they are amazing for them to pick up.
We started with the old school classics, ba ba black sleep, twinkle twinkle etc.

He does interact now and I've noticed a massive difference the past few month whilst we've been out and about at the park etc.
But the time leading up to this when he couldn't, when I thought he'd be on his own, he wasn't. The room has so much going on with activities, story time there's always another child next to yours. So even if he can't interact himself the other children will with him if that makes sense?

Ponche · 03/09/2023 23:56

Mumto1yearold · 05/08/2022 20:34

Hi my little boy has just turned 2 he is under diagnosis for autism ( professionals have confirmed he is autistic ) but he doesn’t have the official diagnosis yet. I am starting him at nursery in September and I am just so worried.
he doesn’t interact with other kids, he is non verbal, and has spd.
iam just so worried that he won’t feel comfortable, won’t interact will sit alone for hours or even that the other children will be overwhelming for him.
it sounds stupid but I am feeling sick at the thought of him going. I want the best for him and I’m hoping it will be the best thing for him and he will come along and progress at nursery but I can’t help the thought of my little boy be upset all day.

Hi OP, I know this is an old thread but was just wondering how your little boy got on at nursery as my daughter sounds similar and is due to start nursery soon. She’s almost 3.

Original poster
Mumto1yearold · 04/09/2023 09:21

@Ponche hi, looking back I shouldn’t have worried so much. Easier said than done I know. He struggled at first upset every drop off few days I had to pick him up but he settled better than I ever expected! His key worker was brilliant with him. He didnt and still doesn’t interact much with other children if at all but he’s happy in his own world playing alone and with his key worker. Adjustments had to be made for example he won’t sit and slept with other children so I make a packed lunch and he snacks on that throughout the day. Main thing is to communicate with key worker . Find out what worked and what didn’t work for you child. There’s days where my boy spends the morning playing outside whilst other children are inside but that works for him and he enjoys that. Hope it goes ok for you and your little girl if u need any advice message me

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumto1yearold · 04/09/2023 09:22

@Ponche thqt was meant to say he won’t sit and eat with other children not slept

OP posts:
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