Was anyone 100% sure of a nursery before sending dc?

[mankymanger]

I'm going back to work in March and have been to see a couple of nurseries. (thought it was sorted before that's why I'm a bit late looking). I went to a private montessori which was lovely for the babies and toddlers but I'm worried about discipline and the 'free spirit' thing when he gets older as he will be going to a state primary.

I've been to a community nursery twice now, I think the manager's really lovely the staff seem nice but not sure about it. This is because the children seemed to be little bit naughtier (although not wild or anything) there was a little bit of fisticuffs but these were about 2 years old and the staff stopped them and the kids hugged. I went into the babyroom with him for a while but a few of the toys were broken and he looked little and lost (he's 9 months). Some of the older kids were coming in and out and I was worried he might get a bit left out. Apparently they take the babies out and do painting and water play etc with them and their outside area was bigger and nicer than the other area.

Thing is, I'm not if i will ever be 100% about anywhere - is this normal? Are these normal things for a nursery?

Help! (sorry about length)

I didn't have any CM recomended to me as I was new to each area both times. I looked at both nurseries and CM - I got a list from my local council.
I find my CM is much more flexible than a nursery - ie swapping days or picking up earlier/later plus they have more oppertunity to do normal stuff - go to supermarket, days out at the beach, visit the dentist, dog walking, go to the park, cooking, etcetc..

I guess at the end of the day we all have to go with our mothering instincts and do whhat we feel is best for usand our LO's.
Good luck - it's a bummer working for a living huh?

You said it pippy! Perhaps I will check out the cms. Anyone put young child into cm care?

mankymanger, don't take their word for it that what they cook is "healthy." I can't tellyou thenumber of nurseries that classified fish fingers, chips and sweet dessert (ie not fresh fruit) as healthy. And once when I asked if I could send my ds in with fruit to have instead of the sweet dessert, they looked at me cross eyed and said that they couldn't possibly accomodate him having a different dessert than all the others. Obviously that alone gave me an answer about that place.

Get a list of local childminders from your council (they all have to register with the council) and go and visit them. You may be pleasantly surprised. In the 5 years I used my childminder, she didn't have more than 1 or 2 days off in the whole 5 years (and I think both were for funerals that she was able to give us a few days notice for). She was also available for nighttime babysitting which gave us lots of continuity. It was really wonderful for the chidlren to be looked after by the same person all the time. A lot of nurseries have high turnover (good question to ask them by the way).

when I visited montessori, there was talking but no shouting/running around which I expected a little bit of The head said there should be chatter but no shouting/running.

Shall check out the food thing more - thanks for the tip off.

I just went for lunch with a friend who mentioned she was brought up in similar way (she said no discipline so not quite the same). She is now senior midwife and lovely person so can't be all bad. Although she says she is not a disciplined person

I am quite strict with my children, but found the montessori schools I visited (especially the very traditional ones) too rigid for my taste. I found that they were quite didactic about play, expecting children to directly learn from it. I prefer to leave a lot more up to the imagination during play time and leave the learning to learning time. But that's just my personal preference.

If you are not worried about your child's safety, then go ahead and try it. You can always move on if it's not the right place.

Since you have plenty of time, why not go back a visit a few more times. Do a surprise visit and see what happens. Childcare is a really difficult choice and I'm not sure you ever really know (beyond the health and safety) if you have made the right philosophical choice for your child.

Also, follow your instinct and what your child tells you. I remember once being sent to a montessori nursery as a child (I was 4 or so) and absolutely hating it from day 1, to the point where I asked my mother to not send me there anymore. I was not at all a child who complained about things like that, so my mother immediately switched me to another nursery (also montessori, by the way).

just been to see a children's centre which was absolutely lovely - I nearly cried when told they were full!

The children seemed happy but not running around like maniacs, really nice environment, nice staff, nearer location. Wich is why I think its really popular. I have put his name down on waiting list but have no idea if/when I will get a place. Will be prepared to move him from the other one which I didn't want to do. I would also have to change one of my days working so hopefully my boss will let me do that..

Annie, totally sympathise, the nursery I originally liked I wasn't so sure of when I went back for another visit. Its scary letting them go and hoping you've made the right decision. Don't worry, I am also acting crazy so you are not alone!

mankymanger, the fact that it's full is a good sign. I would check back every once in awhile just to remind them that you are on the waiting list and could take a place a short notice. I am really happy for you that you have found a place that you love. I remember when I started out looking at nurseries and saying to myself, oh no, what questions do I ask and how do I know which is the right one. And then in the end, you just know which is the right one when you see it.

This is the place that will be looking after your precious baby. Perfectly ok to get a little crazy over the decision.

PS. The clinching factor in choosing my dd's final (and most wonderful) nursery was when I took her there to visit it, she was absolutely delighted because it was painted "pink" (her favorite color). In fact the place was actually pale blue, but in dd's mind it was pink, so I took that as a sign that she would be happy there.

children's centres are often excellent. both my child go/went to the same one, & the same people who looked after ds are now looking after dd (3.5 years younger). it is absolutely worth ringing them up every week to find out where you are on the waiting list, it will do you no harm at all to stay 'visible'.

does it run any baby groups? we had a whole host of drop ins which were great - i made friends, ds/dd got to play, people recognised us around the centre so again we were visible, & when the children started actually going to the nursery it was easier for them as they knew the building already. and when ds had a wobbly phase at nursery, the drop in leader used to scoop him up so he could be her special helper .

am waffling now, but just wanted to emphasis how great our children's centre has been.

oh, & sorry you are stressed anniemac . i know lots of people who've been very happy with montessori.