Was anyone 100% sure of a nursery before sending dc?

[mankymanger]

I'm going back to work in March and have been to see a couple of nurseries. (thought it was sorted before that's why I'm a bit late looking). I went to a private montessori which was lovely for the babies and toddlers but I'm worried about discipline and the 'free spirit' thing when he gets older as he will be going to a state primary.

I've been to a community nursery twice now, I think the manager's really lovely the staff seem nice but not sure about it. This is because the children seemed to be little bit naughtier (although not wild or anything) there was a little bit of fisticuffs but these were about 2 years old and the staff stopped them and the kids hugged. I went into the babyroom with him for a while but a few of the toys were broken and he looked little and lost (he's 9 months). Some of the older kids were coming in and out and I was worried he might get a bit left out. Apparently they take the babies out and do painting and water play etc with them and their outside area was bigger and nicer than the other area.

Thing is, I'm not if i will ever be 100% about anywhere - is this normal? Are these normal things for a nursery?

Help! (sorry about length)

please help. desparate.

To be honest no, you are never 100% sure. All I know if that you will get the right feeling when you find the right place. I had to move my DD2 from the nursery she had been in for only 6 months when my DD1 started school (she had been there for 3.5 years). It broke my heart but logistically with work > school > nursery it just didn't work. I looked at a few nearer home and settled on one which felt like the best one, ideal? No I don't think so but the nursery they left really raised the bar. Just keep looking and you will know when you find the right one. Do the staff seem happy or more importantly the children when you walk round them?. Alot of them nowadays push the 'academic' measures - personally I just wanted to know that my child would be happy, sociable, safe and cared for. Good luck!

Also painting, water play, sticky icky stuff all done at nursery gets a big thumbs up for me, saves having to do it at home! I think a good sized outside play area is essential and would be top of my list.

you have to go on gut instinct to a fair degree

Have a look at their last OFSTED report

Toys etc can look more used than those at home - 20 kids bashing away means toys inevitably look scruffier

most important things are:

Staff - nice, friendly, correct ratio to children and low staff turnover

mix of children is important - a 9 month old shouldn't necessarily be with a 2 year old as their needs are different

it is natural to feel anxious - i looked at three nurseries before i chose DS's and i made the right choice - nothing i could put my finger on, as they were all quite similar in layout/activities

i was 100% sure about ds nursery best one i have ever seen he loves it.
its a private school with a nursery bit.

thanks, have been walking round the park, wondering what to do. still not sure.

Bogie, your little boy is luurrvely!

Think you need to go with your gut instinct. For what its worth the children I have at nursery who attend a montessori as well have a great self awareness and respect and this stems from the approach in my opinion. Would they allow you to do a taster session at both? We allow this and it is a great chance to see the nursery in a more natural light. Fisticuffs is inevitable in a two year old room, what you need to look at is how well it was dealt with, which by all accounts was good.

Good luck

Thanks he is in pictures looks like butter wouldn't melt.
That luvvvvly little boy just threw a golf ball at my head

Thankfully I was about 98% sure mine was ideal. The final 2% came about a month after DD has been there and refused to come home one day .

It is all gut instict I think. Having just done the school trawl for DD1 I found that the ofsted reports were best used as a guide - you know what your child needs more than any ofsted inspector IMO!

The fisticuffs wouldn't bother me at all (it happens)- good to see the staff handled it well. I suppose as long as the toys that were broken weren't in a dangerous condition I would think that would be OK. If he's nine months he's soon likely to be enjoying seeing and interacting the older children IME. By the time my two were about 1yo, they preferred the company of older children rather than young babies. If the outside area is bigger and nicer than the other one I personally we see that as a huge bonus for the nursery you are considering.

Good luck. Remember if your decision doesn't work out as you had hoped you can always change - they are very adaptable at that age really.

Maybe no need to wail into my pillow after all! I'm usually quite laid back but I think the signing on the dotted line bit made it all seem too real. I seemed to make it worse in my head and had pictures of him sitting on a hard floor all alone and confused surrounded by broken toys and mean children.

I'm going to look at another one just to make sure.

keep dodging those golf balls!

you won't be 100% sure until your baby starts

you give it a few weeks/month or two and you will then know if it suits your LO and you

seeing lots of nurseries is a good idea

don't think about him being alone - he will be surrounded by new friends, toys etc

I was 100% sure. Got recommendations, looked at Offsted report, went to view and booked the child in there and then. Gut feeling backed up by reserch and recommendatons.
They love it and I trust the staff absolutely. They get good discipline, fun, structured activities.
At 9 months my children did seem to play with a toy by themselves rather than with other children, the 'social' playing I think kicks in later.
However have never seen broken toys at our nusery.

No one can be 100%, but you get a gut instinct. I looked at 3 nurseries.2 were vile. When I saw the third, I just knew. It was LOVELY. I liked everything about it.
Had to move ds to my work nursery. I really like that too.
Go with your gut.

Thanks, I am getting some info on another just to compare a little more. I do like the fact its got a big outdoor space, the manager's really nice (and she hires the other staff) and the children do get to spend a bit of time with the other age groups. Hopefully I'll be more sure when I see another one.

I have read the ofsted report which was good except they didn't stretch the older kids enough. Had 3 stars the same as the montessori and the really expensive one down the road. They said the physical activities were particularly good.

Would be interested to know why some were 'vile'.

Glad we have provided you with lots to think about !!!!
I thought that your fisticuffs was handled well and that is a good sign.
Broken toys is normal. Ds has broken toys at home. Have you seen how many get broken at a nursery or any playgroup. So long as a regular check and disposal is done, that is fine. Ds's pre-school group broke their computer. Apparently the enginner found loads of things shoved in nooks and crannies that he didn't even know existed. Sounds normal to me. But they are also trying to drill into the childrn that this is not acceptable and that they need to treat it with respect. To me, that is correct.
Vile ? One was dirty and just damp and dismal. The carers looked similar. Honestly I kid you not. The other just had a not very nice air about it , as if the carers themselves could only just muster up the energy. High turnover of staff.
Both , I would never leave ds in, even in an emergency. The third, I never doubted. I loved it. Everyparent I spoke to since felt the same. Ds told me he loved it too.

thanks obls. Didn't detect any dampness (agh! I hate that word!) I'm sure my ds will be shoving stuff in the nooks and crannies with the best of them

I veiwed one close by that was vile full on 15 year old chavs swearing, talking on there mobiles, not watching the kids at all i got through one room and said i think i have seen enough thankyou.

Agh! I live in megachavland! The staff did seem friendly (and adult) though so hopefully not a consideration. My dh is now getting antsy about him going anywhere (ds, not dh). I told him I wished he'd come with me cos now the decision is down to me.

I wasn't sure whether I had chosen the right nursery for DS - I had to put his name down for one before he was born (made filling in the name and DOB a bit difficult!). I looked at three, and chose one based on:
OFSTED report (good, but not the best, especially for 2+ year olds))
Friendliness and humour of the staff that I met
Hygiene levels that I saw
Paintings/photos/craft things on walls that showed the staff had a pride in what they were doing
Recommendation from a friend.
During the settling in seesions (he was 7mo)I had doubts about the place/leaving DS at any nursery, but a month or so after the settling in sessions I knew it was the right place for him.
I will look again at the academic aspects of the nursery for 2+ year olds when the time comes, and realise that I might consider moving him - but I'm not getting hung up on that now!

I think I visited every nursery in the area before stumbling upon the place that was incomparably fantastic. Things that made me shudder were cramped premises, distracted pre-pubescent staff, the lack of hot food at lunchtime, or worse, the provision of "children's food" (all those nuggets and spaghetti hoops), babies sitting around in vests ("so they don't get their clothes dirty").

The fab nursery just felt wonderful, and it was. My DDs loved it and were extremely well cared for. We still go and visit when were back there, 4 years on, because a lot of the staff are still there and they really care.

I hope you find one just like it!

I think that there are certain things you have to be 110% sure about. Those are safety, cleanliness, health (including food served) and lots of love. The things that you don't have to be 100% sure about are whether it will be quite the right fit socially or in a year's time. You can always change if the latter things don't work out, but you are putting your child at risk if the former list doesn't work out. I have had my two in two different nurseries that I was 100% sure about in terms of safety, health etc, but less sure of in terms of a social fit. In my ds' case, I left him in for the year despite being unhappy about the social fit. But in dd's case, the social fit was bad enough that I switched her after 4 months.
In both cases I had viewed close to a dozen nurseries that I rejected mostly because of health and safety issues and one because I thought the way they dealt with issues like soiled clothing (potty accidents) was vile.

Good luck.

Have you looked into childminders. I used one for the first 3 years for both of mine since we were lucky enough to have a lovely one next door to us. It's a wonderful intimate setting that can often be more suited to a young baby and a working mother.

Hmm the Op asks 'was anyone 100% sure of nursery...etc'
I reply 'I was 100% sure...etc' gave reasons for my confidence and that I still am 100% sure.
Oblomov in the next post says 'no one can be 100% sure'
Well I was. So there. I wouldn't send my babies anywhere I wasn't 100% sure of!

I looked at several nurseries before deciding to send my DC to a CM. Have you considered this option?
I felt for a young baby there is enough time in their lives for a 'school' type structure - I just couldn't get my head round different staff on different days looking after them, changing staff, how would the sleep if other babies didn't etc... and both my CM have been fab.
Peace of mind knowing that they would get one to one consistant care in a home environment. I find my CM is like a homely aunty for them.
Worth considering?

Thanks. Whilst at the community nursery one of the staff got a flannel to wipe ds's nose but I'm not sure where she got it from which made me wince slightly. The manager says the children have healthy food cooked from scratch with 'a hot meal and a pudding' for lunch. I'm ok with the pudding bit but at breakfast they were having cheerios which seemed like an unnecessary use of sugar (I htink cheerios have sugar in them?) Not a purist by any means although I could give him porridge before he goes and then he could have toast when he gets there

As for childminders I'm a little worried about having one person with sole responsibility as there's no-one else there if they aren't any good (don't know anyone to recommend to me). Also thinking someone's house might have more danger spots than a nursery and ds is a very curious 9 mo.

sorry flibbetty, I didn't mean to undermine the fact that you were sure.
I too, had no doubt in my mind. Mine was and still is lovely. There is not one single thing I would change.
But I did have small dounts, re even though it is lovely, will ds like it, be settled.
I mean, even the most lovely'ist place could make the most secure child cry.