Nursery Issue

[fari2014]

My youngest son got a place in nursery for September. The nursery is attached to a school. I handed in all the paperwork as requested by nursery. I didn't realise the nursery wants my son to be toilet trained by September. My son is non verbal and waiting for assessment for special needs. Since I spoke to a teacher on zoom, no one has got back to me. I was told head of early years will call me. No one is contacting me and every time I contact the nursery, I am told everyone is busy and someone will call me. This never happens. I feel like they have ghosted me. All the other nurseries are full. I don't know what to do.

I feel like since they found out my son may not be toilet trained by September, they don't want him at the nursery.

They cannot discriminate against your child with SEN. How aware are they of his needs? Ask to speak to the SENCO as a matter of urgency.

Is it a funded place under LA ? If so they cannot discriminate, whether a state or private setting. If a state nursery it may be not a given that he will get a place at the school by attending, even on the same site.

I had the same situation last year . Do you have confirmation of the place - they can’t withdraw it .
They will have to change him it’s a reasonable adjustment

They want him to be toilet trained. They can't refuse him care if he's not.

They can't discriminate against a child who has a delay, but they really want to so they're just staying quiet and hoping you'll go away. How about getting in touch with the governors?

Thanks everyone for the replies. Should the nursery not let me know by now what date he will be starting nursery and what hours he will be attending? Schools are all closed today as last day of term.

Yes I agree with @Mysterian it really, really shouldn't happen but there's still far too many schools who do this. Are unhelpful and uncommunicative in the hope that you'll give up and go somewhere more accommodating. Then the schools that are more accommodating end up with more SEN children and struggle to provide enough support for everybody.
Do you have an email address of the head or SENCO?
Do you have confirmation of a place?
I'd suggest leaving a "paper trail" when you ask for appointments.

They are hoping you disappear....is this the lond of nursery you want your child to attend? I would be looking elsewhere if it was me

We have a child in nappies starting at our junior school - not ideal of course but we can’t deny them an education, nor would we want to. Adjustments need to be made.
Seems ridiculous for a nursery to demand this. Plenty of children who are 3 or 4 still have accidents or need help wiping. They are not 100% confidently toilet trained. My DS is 4 and toilet trained since two with few accidents in general but still managed to poo himself at nursery on one occasion. No big deal for the nursery. Surely they have the facilities to deal with this? Obviously they wouldn’t be able to cope with all children being in nappies, but reasonable adjustments for a child with needs seems to me a no brainer.

My DS5 has just finished reception and is still in nappies. He has global developmental delay and problems with his bowels (awaiting an operation.) A TA changes him and we have an intimate care and toileting plan in place. Ask to speak to the school's SENCO.

Unfortunately everywhere else is full locally. I have phoned a lot of nurseries and they are full for September start.

They can not discriminate against a child with a disability/learning difficulty. It's that simple.

They can ask that children are toilet trained in preparation for starting. But it's not something that can be forced. It's not like asking that they wear the right uniform or the right colour shoes. It takes time and patience, and some children just aren't ready.

It sounds like they will be a shit school, with a shit SEND and not a good place for a child that needs more support.

I would do my best to not send my child there.

My 5 year old is in nappies, and is nearing the end of reception. Highly likely they will start year one in nappies. They are autistic and although not incontinent, they are just not ready to lose the nappies. School have been amazing and supportive, and never shyed away from doing what is necessary.

That's the thing though, this is exactly what they hope op will do and in an awful lot of cases parents think like you do and this approach works, so nothing changes and Schools constantly get away with poor treatment of parents and children with SEND.

That's the thing though, this is exactly what they hope op will do and in an awful lot of cases parents think like you do and this approach works, so nothing changes and Schools constantly get away with poor treatment of parents and children with SEND.

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I wouldn't want my child to go somewhere they won't be treated with the respect and care they deserve but I would absolutely report them to ofsted and the LA.

There's probably a good ( bad😳) reason why the rest of the nurseries are full but this one has availability......that speaks volumes to me

This is a very good nursery. I applied for September place in March that's why I got it as I applied very early. Normally the nursery is full. I will go down to the school on Monday and speak to them again.

I was fobbed off again. Apparently everyone is away now until next term. I am going to put a complaint in writing and send it. I am also going to contact the council.

Definitely report to ofsted the the local authority it's just not ok.

All settings need to be inclusive.