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bullying at nursery?

5 replies

Iponb · 17/06/2022 10:03

A few months agot my 3 year old started saying that she doesn't want to go to nursery. It was quite shocking because she was happy to go.
On a few occasions, I had to pick her up to take her to doctor's and so on, and I noticed small marks on her, like a scratch, a bump, or white spots as the result of been squized too hard. I asked the nursery staff and I didn't get any explanation, and started making a lot of questions. The team leader of the room started avoiding me and asked other staff to give me the daily report.
The other day, my kid said that she is been hurt at the nursery by other kids, she said that usually she is playing by herself and other kids come out the blue to hurt her. She said that one member of staff had to remove the kids from her a couple of times.
I raised this with the management and they denied everything, they said that she is happy there and that the kid who hurts her the most is a very good friend of hers, even that I noticed that when I pick her up she is no longer playing with him as she was in the past. I didn't get an explanation about the team leader avoiding me or even an apology. I felt that they didn't want me to remove my kids from the nursery at any cost or raise it with the care inspectorate. They were more worried about what I would do instead of making it right for my kid. They said that they have gone through the accident reports and everything seems normal, but what about the accidents and marks that I have seen and no report was given about it. They didn't acknowledge that either.
I don't want to remove my child from nursery earlier and teach her to run away from the problems, but I don't want her to feel insecure, and not safe and that she can't count on me.
We apply for another nursery, and she is got a place in a couple of months, but until then, I need some childcare when I am working. I have contacted childcare agencies but they are very busy at the moment and my family is abroad.
What do I do? I do believe my child, my husband has some doubts.

OP posts:
feistymumma · 17/06/2022 14:31

That sounds awful. I would just report to OFSTED

RedWingBoots · 17/06/2022 15:48

Find another nursery or childminder for your child then move them.

The staff clearly don't care.

Iponb · 17/06/2022 15:56

It's Scotland, so I am planning to report it to the care inspectorate.
Yes, I have contacted another nursery, they have a place from August, but I need childcare from now til then.

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 17/06/2022 16:33

Do you do all the nursery pick ups?

If so then you need to tell your husband to do some for different days split over two weeks.

Yes he will have to leave work early etc but it's about the welfare of his child.

Then he can see for himself what is happening and may actually get to talk to the team leader. Unfortunately there is lots of sexism around children in childcare and primary schools which means fathers often get more information and sometimes better results then mothers alone.

Iponb · 17/06/2022 17:34

Thanks, we split, he usually does the drop offs, and some of the pick ups. Sometimes I do the picks up. At the moment, because he works nearby, he is having a walk around the nursery to see if something happens, so far we haven't seen anything (1 day only), but the marks that sometimes they bring at home with no report.
The report that we are given about the daily activities is crap anyway. It's like following a script, how much and what was eaten, and that they were outside in the garden, and some inside play (Lego mainly, and sometimes books), nothing else. I don't know the kids mines are playing with because the nursery doesn't tell us (I have asked my kids), they don't tell us if they are underdevelopped, there was a case where the nhs spotted a kid with some disorder that should have been spotted at the nursery.

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