AIBU discipline at nursery

[Claudine4]

Hi all, first time poster!

I just wanted others' opinions on whether my daughters behaviour is normal or something I should be doing more about.

A bit of background, she's 19 months and has a speech delay (awaiting formal assessment and hearing test, but we have no concerns about hearing). So, she doesn't say any words but seems to understand commands etc.

She was moved into "toddlers" today due to the baby room being too hot. Today at pick up the nursery worker said she was naughty and not listening and how she had to be told off a lot, things like snatching toys and climbing on furniture (NOT hitting/biting or anything aggressive), just hyperactive basically. I was a bit upset to hear that she was being told off rather than removed from the situation and distracted, but I didn't say anything because I don't want to be "that parent" who refused to believe their child could be in the wrong.

Is it appropriate to tell off a 19 month old for grabbing toys and climbing on furniture? Especially when put into a new room for the first time. I understand telling her to stop, but to actually give her a telling off seems a bit extreme for her age? AIBU? Am I being overprotective?

Thank you!

I would imagine that when they say "told off" they mean they said "no X, no climbing!" and then redirected. I highly doubt nursery staff would be chastising babies, it's pointless and they know better.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to tell off any child below toddler age really. The fact is that they don’t know what they’re doing is “naughty” and we as adults impose ridiculous and confusing rules on them - ie you’re allowed to throw a ball but not allowed to throw a satsuma which looks exactly the same? You’re allowed to kick a ball but not allowed to kick the dog? Very confusing.

How did they discipline / tell her off? I’d be more concerned about that than them using the words “told off” as you might be worrying about nothing

I think not listening is par for the course at that age! And I don't think they should be using the word naughty or telling her off for normal toddler behaviour. She's not even 2 yet, of course she's going to climb on stuff and not listen! It's not being naughty, and I really dislike that word when it's used for totally age appropriate behaviour.

I don't think I would be pleased at the word 'naughty' from the nursery. Also I am pretty sure our nursery wouldn't even have mentioned that behaviour, it's something they would have dealt with during the day. (Although in this instance it's good they told you as I don't think they acted appropriately).

Not only was it hot, she was in an unfamiliar setting so it's not surprising that she was behaving in a different way to usual.

I wouldn’t be happy

My nursery does not use the word naughty and like PP said wouldn't even tell parents about normal toddler behaviour like that. Doesn't sound like this nursery understands children's brain development or what is effective appropriate discipline at all.

I think you should ask what they mean by “tell her off” they might be saying it quite casually. In an ideal world with that behaviour you’d get them outside, but I appreciate that might not have been possible.

I'd be alarmed by the word naughty.

Do they expect the kids to sit still all day?

Shes 19 months! The nursery need to relax and let her explore...safely.

Thank you all for your replies! I really appreciate the insight.

I'm going to have a chat to them tomorrow to see what they meant by "told off".

I thought her behaviour was age appropriate, at home if she doesn't listen I just remove her from thr situation or distract her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Did they actually use the word naughty?