Baby is being bitten

[NewmummyKK]

Hi all, looking for some advice on what to do really, my 1 year old has been bitten twice now in the space of 3 weeks by the Same child, the bites are so hard it leaves a mark/bruise for 2 weeks and she is obviously very upset. When I spoke to the nursery all the said is the child is being monitored as she is also pinching and hitting as well as biting. If it’s a behavioural thing and not just one offs; do I have the right to ask them to move my child away from the other child as I’m concerned she will start hating nursery. What would you do? I know it’s common but I don’t think anything is being done.

If biting isn't deliberate can you explain how you accidentally bite someone. It would help some of us understand how it is acceptable for a child to be targeted and repeatedly bitten.

I didn't say the biting was an accident, I was querying the language used to describe a one year old child biting.

Deliberate, with intent etc implies reasoned thought behind the act and I'm really not willing to say a child of that age can intend anything.

So if it isn't deliberate and it isn't an accident then what is it?

I honestly think that unless you work with children within the early years and deal with biting , scratching , pushing everyday it’s going to be difficult to understand. I am not ‘relaxed’ about bites as it can sometimes be very hard for us and we often get blamed by parents but like I previously said it’s something that we have to accept happens especially with young children.

As a nursery setting we would not be able remove a young child from the nursery because of biting especially if they have additional needs. We have to make the setting inclusive for all children. Instead you have to find strategies and effective techniques to deal with all behaviours to help the child to learn. Of course as they get older and are in primary school then the way behaviour is dealt with is different and some children with behaviour needs have a 1:1.

A 1 year old is still exploring things orally and experimenting. Often biting toys, dummy, people etc. And getting satisfaction from the relief of teething so they keep doing it. They don't yet understand the link of the scream and their action it has to be learned often babies who haven't been around others have fewer people to learn from. Then they start to learn their action has a reaction but they need to learn if its a good reaction or a bad one, which is why laughing, smiling or cuddling when your trying to give the message that something wasn't good makes them repeat the action.

So biting is a positive for the biter so they deliberately do it.

Those suggesting the baby (let's remember we're talking about babies here) be removed from nursery - how do they propose their presumably working parents continue to pay their bills? Or is homelessness simply the price they must pay for being a 'violent child'?

Does a baby deliberately pooh in a clean nappy or fall over when they are standing? No it's normal development that the adult has to support and work through but with ratios currently of 4 to 1 and higher if the government get their way its going to be harder....easier in a childminder setting where there is generally only 1 at this stage but in a baby room they are all at the same stage.
Every child will do something that could be termed nasty....not sharing, snatching hitting, stamping and screaming, spitting, throwing....its part of normal development.

Deliberate doesn't mean nasty, no one has said that as far as I've seen.

Babies don't deliberately pooh, what a ridiculous comparison. They pooh as the bowel is full, not the same as biting at all.

'Violent child' 'deliberate act' ?? some of the phrasing on this thread is awful.

I am the mother of a biter, there I said it. Baby, yes the baby, is 21 months old and we have signed several incident forms with regards to the matter. I always concerned for the welfare of any child who is bitten, but nursery staff assure me that this is phase that many kids go through, because lo and behold, they are not quite able to articulate their communication any other way, just yet.

She has also, on occasion bitten me, my husband and her 7 year old brother. Shall I just exclude her from family life until she "learns". No of course I won't! Like nursery, a firm no and minimal fuss as on-going attention may encourage the behaviour. As her vocabulary improves the incidences have lessened and I imagine will continue to do so. On going biting and a child may be experiencing other developmental difficulties and perhaps need additional assessment and support.

I am sorry OP that your child has sustained a marks that have lasted two weeks, that's a pretty lengthy bite and perhpas there are supervision issues in the room? However as others have acknowledged, it is a well known stage that some babies and toddlers go through, so I would consider it a risk of this type of child care, my son on the other had was on the receiving end when he was around the same age. He was and is fine, BTW.

I don't think we can exclude them from the setting, on the grounds that this would not be of any long term benefit as isolation won't teach them how to intercat, will it? I can't believe how quick some are to label and blame a small child that is only just learning the nuances of relationships and interacting.

No they don't deliberately pooh which is my point becouse parents say they must be waiting for a clean nappy.

Don't worry every parent saying ban the child will get that your child has ......conversation I'm sure then they will be volunteering to remove their child

It's impulsive. There's no deliberation behind it, no thought: they just do it.

I don't think some people understand the difference between deliberate and malicious. Toddlers don't accidentally bite people but that doesn't mean it is malicious.

I think you don't understand the difference between deliberation and impulse.

An impulse is unpremeditated not accidental. Still deliberate.

Deliberate means deliberation, i.e. thinking about it first. It is premeditated.

An impulse is not premeditated. Nor is it deliberate or accidental.

An accident is not premeditated. It is neither deliberate or impulsive.

Deliberate is not an accident, it is something you can control so if you spot a child about to bite and tell them not to they may stop, if a child is filling their nappy and you shout stop they can't. Biting is deliberate but with a young child it isn't malicious.

An impulse is something you may or may not do, if your husband annoys you then you might have an impulse to throw something at him but you don't have to do it.