Nursery days - how do you get the right balance?

[Musomama1]

My DS has had two mornings at nursery since he was 2 (he started with 1 morning at 1year). About 5 hours apiece.

Now we have 3 days coming up and they will be 6 hour stretches. I'm a SAHM, I work the odd day, but I'm now heavily pregnant so just want a bit more time before baby comes, and just always naturally thought step up days the older he gets. We couldn't afford more than 3 days in any case and are using our free hours.

I've never wanted him to have tons of nursery but I'm wary this might be too much time. He's started to be anxious about toys being taken off him and other boys being more physical. Not sure what to do.

My 2.5 year old does 3 days at nursery and loves it. She's made friends she looks forward to seeing, and generally has a different experience to just being with us. It's definitely taught her to share toys and 'take her turn' with things, she wouldn't have got that with just being at home with me, and generally get used to playing with others. Kids are really adaptable, it may take a little time to settle into a new routine but I'm sure they'll love their time there.

@SunshineAndFizz thank you glad your LO has a good nursery

My 2.5yr DD also does 3 days a week. She has a bit of a whinge about going some days but generally has a good time - she's term time only and when she doesn't go for a few weeks her behaviour at home is noticeably worse, I think she gets bored of just us and the baby!

To be honest, I'd think that just doing 2 half mornings would be harder! As they'd not be there enough to really settle.

3 days a week is enough for them to really build friendships, learn to share / take turns, and just build confidence away from you - which is a great skill before they start school

DD used to go 4 days but we’ve just cut her down to 2 days as I’m on ML - financially we can’t afford it but I also felt dreadful
shipping her out when I’m at home and can spend more time with her. Funnily enough she’s found the transition to two days tricky! I think because she’s not there as much and it’s a routine change - you’d be amazed what they’re aware of even if they don’t always know which day it is.

That said it’s been 3 weeks now and she’s starting to settle into doing 2 days not 4 :) so I guess what I’m saying is any sort of change can throw them off for a few weeks, so please don’t feel guilty if your little one is a bit funny for a while with the changes. There’s a lot going on and especially with getting a new sibling there may be a few upset mornings. But I genuinely think nursery is so important for them, with the amount of mixing with their peers - it’s why we’re making cut backs to send her 2 days despite my being on mat pay. They’re very adaptable, little ones, they just sometimes need some time to get their heads around a change in routine :)

Always found fewer days is harder as they're not in enough to really form bonds with friends and get into the routine. I think you'll find after a few weeks of longer days he'll actually be happier.

I think 3 days of 6 hours is a good balance.

My daughter was in childcare from 8-5, 5 days a week from 7 months due to working and had no issues at all.

2 mornings is nothing and will be much harder for them to settle. Just go for the 3 days and he will make more friends and have more fun.

There's no right or wrong answer really. My DD started nursery at 9 months old, 3 days a week 8-6 whilst me and DH were at work. She had another day with a grandparent too. At just over 3 I went on mat leave again with DC2 so we dropped her to 2 days a week as that's all the 30hrs covers (for the long days all year round so it's stretched). I'm sure she'd be fine with more and it would be easier on me with more too, but we've decided it's not worth the money and also I want to spend the extra time with her given I've worked 4 days a week since she was 9 months old. So this is an opportunity for me to have another year of spending more time with her than I have since she was a little baby. I'm considering not returning to my job, and if I can't find anything else suitable and end up a SAHM, I'm going to keep her in 2 days. She will be starting school September 2023 and I feel nursery will benefit her before school and also it will disrupt her routines etc to take her out. Plus she will retain the 15hr funding which covers one day, and the nursery she's at have a 2 day minimum booking pattern or I'd probably just send her once a week tbh with the free hours. DS probably won't be going to nursery if I don't have a job because it's too expensive for us. Otherwise I would have him in 2 days a week from being say 18m old too to have a rest and get the house work done!

I agree he will possibly find three six hour days easier than two mornings.

Ds1 was 3 full days a week from 9 months to 4 years.

ds2 is 5 full days a week at 3, and also has been since 9 months 🤷🏻‍♀️

Same. 3yo has been doing 8-5 since he was v little. He adores nursery

Same here. DS is almost 3.5 now, loves nursery and has lots of little friends there. We've never had issues with separation anxiety either.

Thanks everyone, sounds like I might be the fretful one out of me and DS! We'll have to just try it and see how it goes 😊