Little advise please.

[ChittyBang1987]

Hi everyone,

I don't know if I'm worrying too much, but I feel like sobbing.

My LG is 13 months old. I've been at this nursery since the beginning of Feb. 2 days a week for Feb and March:930 am till 330 pm to get her used to it.

I started back at work at the beginning of the month, and I'm actually having mega doubts about nursery.

She just doesn't seem happy there. I have been called since the beginning of Feb 5 times to come pick her up because she is unsettled, not eating lunch, using her injections reactions as an excuse (she wanted an extra cuddle and a little clingy. No temp or anything) or her slight cold as an excuse. Or even because she hasn't slept. Yet when I see her through nursery windows, she's been fine.

I have been lied too. On the phone, I have been told she's not eating her lunch. I get there and been told she's eaten it all.

Also, on half terms and such, they have different staff in, and this really upsets her, and when we pick her up, she's crying as she's refused to sleep for them.

She's also clinging to us when me, my aunt or her dad, drop her off, shaking her head to say no and crys. I know it's normal for them to cry, but after 2.5 months, I thought this may have settled by now.

She's a very tactile kid, loves a cuddle, and they say they can't do this all day, which i understand. She's the youngest in the nursery and has been put in the toddler room instead of the baby room as she walks straight out the baby room, which I must add is no bigger than a bathroom. Ages are from 1 year old to like 10 years I believe maybe older.

I'm at a loss. I had to write a pretty strong email as they sent her home 2 weeks ago with a temperature and a slight cough. I had already told them she's teething and assessed twice by a Dr, and he wasn't concerned. To give calpol as needed. That's the other thing. They aren't allowed to give calpol unless prescribed by a Dr. Is that crazy???

I have to write another email that she's been on antibiotics, that her bowel movements would be loose she has a cough and tested covid and negative. She's been seen by gp, and they say she's fine.

I just feel their tolerance for a 1 year old being tactile and needing that time is low and to be quite Frank a nuisance to them.

Today, she hadn't slept all day as they tried rocking her to sleep (unless its mummy snuggles). Well, my kid hates to be rocked to sleep, and they know this. As nice as I can say, you cuddle her, white noise, dummy, pop in cot and reassure in cot for a couple of mins and walk away.

Am I being silly to look at another nursery?

Have you considered a childminder where lo will get more consistency and you can build a relationship with her carer?

It doesn't sound like that nursery is the right place for your DC.

Have they really got children up to age 10 there?

Also, they should have a baby gate on the door so that she stays in the baby room.

At my DC's nursery the room is quite small but it has a baby gate and they all eat together but they are separated as the babies need more attention.

It doesn't sound like they are listening to your concerns, I would definitely look for a different nursery.

Go with your gut.

This isn't working for either of you.

If she has a temperature, diarrhoea then she shouldn’t be at nursery regardless of what the GP says. GP will only comment on whether he is concerned about your dc health whereas nursery have to consider their own policies in regards to infection control.
Most childcare settings will not give calpol - if a child needs calpol to get through the day they should be at home.

A 1 year old should be in a separate under 2s room in my opinion.
Lots of different staff is one of the issues with nursery care though.

You won’t get a bespoke service for things like sleep in nursery - white noise or leaving her to cry might disturb other children.

With them calling you to tell you she’s unsettled - have you made clear that you want her to stay at nursery unless she’s ill? Some parents would prefer to know of their child is upset especially as she is young and you are at home. Just let the nursery know your preference on this.

It does sound like you have lost faith in them though, and maybe a childminder would suit you better.

You know I was thinking about a childminder 🤔 I grabbed a few numbers from our local council website the other day.

Yeah, as there's a school right next door and they do after-school club there and holiday clubs. Age 10 is about right.

Yes, and I think that's the thing she's not getting the attention she needs. That's half the issue.

Yep, I have made clear what I want and when we are called. Now, they have taken to ring my other half.

Yes, I agree she would be better in the baby room, but it appears that's she the only one there, so for ease, I assume she goes into the other part. She's great with other children as long as someone is there. We go to park and there's older kids and she will quite happily go with them if I'm with her. It's the reassurance that I don't feel she's getting.

I have lost faith. I called them as we dropped her there Friday, and she was again grizzling and upset when she went there and saying no as soon as the car parked up.

I will call some childminders tomorrow.

Thank you

Good luck with the childminders it definitely sounds more suited to lo we offer exactly the same as nurseries and are inspected to the same standards its just smaller.

Had same with childminder, in our experience we couldn’t really fix, just had to go elsewhere. I know the childminder now (school run) and in hindsight she just didn’t have time/energy to be picking up babies along with her existing children- I don’t blame her, but equally, I’m glad we took ds out as he just wasn’t getting the reassurance he needed to settle and I always felt she saw him as an inconvenience!

I know from working in nurseries that most of them are horribly under stimulating with lazy, unbothered staff. Sorry to say but if I had never had the experience of working in a multiple nurseries as a temp, I would have thought they were mostly lovely. They’re not though. Find a nanny or childminder who is energetic, educated and outdoorsy.

If you're have a feeling that it's not right, it's probably not right. My child has SEN and has meltdowns and can struggle but nursery have only called me twice since Jan.
Not eating/crying is a ridiculous excuse to call you.
Look for somewhere else.