Pay for nursery during the holidays?

[Cirelle]

My 4yo has no children to play with at home. I have no relatives or friends with children and no children live in our street. He had an awful time during the pandemic because he had nobody to play with for a year and a half. I play with him but it’s not the same as playing with other children. His social skills were badly affected by this isolation and he still hasn’t recovered.

He now gets funding to attend nursery 2.5 hours a day, 5 days a week, term time only. His social skills have improved massively. I’m concerned about the upcoming holidays, especially the six week summer holiday, because he’s going to be isolated with me again.

Is it worth spending £1k so he can continue attending nursery for a couple of hours each day during the holidays? I can’t afford it but I can put it on a credit card. I just don’t want him to be isolated again.

Have you tried the neurodiverse board on mumsnet? You might get some more sympathetic advice there? It’s easy for NT people to say ‘make the effort’ but some ND simply don’t know how and can’t do it. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask for help and for other people to provide role models for your DC

After reading your other posts I think you should sent him twice a week during the holidays.

Nursery sounds like the best option in your situation OP. Can I ask about his dad? It's good if someone familiar to him can model some of those interactions, completely understand that's not possible for you, but his father could take him to the park at the weekend or look for a regular group or club on a Saturday or Sunday morning? It's a nice father son binding thing too. Apologies if he's not in the picture

Also, have you considered that your DC’s social delay might be due to AS traits? Might be worth getting an assessment if at all possible (I know these things can take years). Best of luck anyway hope you find a solution

I wouldn't get into debt to pay for the nursery, no.

Are there children's centres near you? If so, call your local one to enquire about stay and plays, and mention that you need support accessing it due to your autism. They will have family support workers who can help. They can also advise you if there are any funded schemes locally or other help you can access.

It might be worth checking if there are any classes like football, karate or gymnastics that run over the holidays. By age 4 many are drop and go, so you wouldn't need to stay. They have the same kids go every week so would have the advantage of your DS getting to know people, and they are a lot cheaper than nursery.

Longer term, have you considered putting your DS down on the waiting list for something like Beavers (Scouts)? They are good at exposing kids to a whole range of new activities many of which I'm guessing you'd find difficult.

There are play schemes available but maybe you could consider getting a part time job just before the summer holidays, then you would qualify towards help for childcare costs through universal credit. The added bonus is your income would be slightly higher too and it won’t be as much of a shock to the system when you start work in September.

I agree with groups you can drop him off at.
Also does nursery need to be 1k? Can he go half days, couple days a week?

If it was me, I'd do it. My son needs the routine and his social skills, whilst they have improved I don't want to loose the consistency.

I'm going to ask about my daughter going for one day a week through the holidays (she is 14 months old) so that she doesn't get too clingy with me but also still is in the routine of going to nursery :)

As someone suggested speak to your nursery about stretched funding and see if there are options that might work for you. Alternatively just do a couple of mornings through the summer holidays, enough to get him out but not so expensive.

I disagree with a lot of posters here and actually think it’s something you should consider. How will things be financially when you go back to work, do you already have a job lined up? If I was certain I’d be able to pay it back fairly quickly, eg a few months, I’d get into £1k debt for something this important. Does it have to be £1k or nothing? Is there a chance to just send him a couple of days over the 6 weeks?

4 before starting school is a difficult age anyway because he’s too old for most playgroups/classes - many of which don’t run in the school holidays anyway - and too young for most holiday clubs which take from reception age.

Wow. Some of these replies are disablist and show a real misunderstanding of autism and how you can’t just ‘try harder’ to get over it. If a Mum with a painful physical disability that meant she could only walk 10m without crippling pain and needed the use of a wheelchair was enquiring about ways to facilitate more physical activity for her child because she can’t take him for walks etc herself would people be saying ‘well clearly you can walk, you just need to get past the pain for your child and ditch the wheelchair and do it yourself!’

The idea that somebody with autism should be able to just try harder not to be impacted by their disability is honestly awful and I’m quite shocked to see so many suggesting it as if it is possible to just turn off autism when it’s inconvenient.

Have you spoken to the nursery about how best to use his funded hours? In my setting they have so many hours per week entitlement if your child is term time only or less hours per week but all year round. This is classed as 'stretched funding'. It's worth considering if you're able to go for stretched funding as this would then include most of the holidays although it would be slightly less hours per week so you'd have to rethink how you'd use the hours per week in that case but least you wouldn't have anything to pay