Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Flip

Original poster

3 year old starting nursery… why am I so worried!!!

18 replies

peaches36 · 27/02/2022 15:53

Has anyone got any advice to help put my big girls pants on and not be worrying so much about my 3 year old starting nursery in a few months?

I’m mostly anxious because he’s so behind other kids, he’s not great at understanding commands and he also has no words yet. I know nurseries are trained in things like this but I’m just worried he’ll get left behind or shouted at for it. He’s not great at using cutlery either so I’m worrying about that. Basically I’m a massive worrier anyway (my biggest flaw 🤣) but has anyone got any advice or tips to help prep my little boy for what’s to come? Any mums/dads had a similar experience? Shall I tell them that he’s not speaking and has no experience with other children?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

makinganavalon · 27/02/2022 15:59

My two and half year old will be starting nursery soon, so I don't have any experience yet but I can really understand your worry, as I'm worrying too.
I would definitely tell them everything they need to know about communication and interaction. This will help them to be able to react to him best and help him.
Is there any way you can get him some interaction with children before you go? Children are usually adept at this naturally but it may put your own mind at rest?
I don't think nursery staff will shout at a three year old who doesn't really understand commands yet.

makinganavalon · 27/02/2022 16:00

Before he goes not you xx

Original poster

peaches36 · 27/02/2022 16:04

@makinganavalon

My two and half year old will be starting nursery soon, so I don't have any experience yet but I can really understand your worry, as I'm worrying too. I would definitely tell them everything they need to know about communication and interaction. This will help them to be able to react to him best and help him. Is there any way you can get him some interaction with children before you go? Children are usually adept at this naturally but it may put your own mind at rest? I don't think nursery staff will shout at a three year old who doesn't really understand commands yet.

I feel like a crap mum because he can’t talk etc I feel it’s somehow my fault. I’m such a huge worrier in general so this is making my mind go into overdrive 🤦‍♀️ I’m going to speak to the nursery and just explain my concerns. I’ve no doubt he’ll love it and thrive there but we have no family or friends with children his sort of age, which hasn’t helped. My cousin has a child younger than him but has been at a childminder since a few months old so is leaps ahead of my son! He does understand sometimes but if I said go and get your shoes/coat he’d just look at me gone out. But he’ll take me to things he wants/bring me his cup for a drink etc. I’m just hoping it will all work out just fine!! 😩

OP posts:

Sally872 · 27/02/2022 16:04

He will be absolutely fine and probably will help his speech or identify if there is help needed. The nursery staff will look after him and he will really enjoy it.

Original poster

peaches36 · 27/02/2022 16:05

My cousin (and his daughter) lives the other end of the country so not exactly close by for them to play together which is a massive shame!

OP posts:

Original poster

peaches36 · 27/02/2022 16:07

@Sally872

He will be absolutely fine and probably will help his speech or identify if there is help needed. The nursery staff will look after him and he will really enjoy it.

I agree. I think I’m being dramatic but I just can’t help overthinking every little thing. He’s such a lovely little boy and he does understand things, maybe I’m expecting him to do more than he needs to be. He’s played with other kids at a forest school a couple of times and didn’t run the other direction! 🤣 he actually went up to them and joined in.

OP posts:

Duracellbunnywannabe · 27/02/2022 16:08

Have you spoken to your HV? Has he been referred to audiology and SaLT?

Original poster

peaches36 · 27/02/2022 16:11

@Duracellbunnywannabe

Have you spoken to your HV? Has he been referred to audiology and SaLT?

Have spoken to HV (not heard from her for a while so thanks for the reminder to chase up!) not been referred to audiology as far as I’m aware but yes to salt.

OP posts:

Sally872 · 27/02/2022 16:12

It's a big step, it's natural to worry. I have my own children neices and nephews and lots of friends with children. All of them benefited from nursery one or two took a wee while to settle in but nursery was sensitive and supportive and didn't take long to change.

makinganavalon · 27/02/2022 16:13

Aww peaches sounds like you've not had your family round etc, me too I'm a few hundred miles away from them so I know how hard it is. You are a great mum, and as pp said I'm sure he will thrive, nurseries will have lots of experience in all sorts of children from all sorts of backgrounds.
If it makes you feel any better I'm last of five kids so had a lot of practise and I had always been described as very retiring and nervous as school, whereas I know others who are only children be really confident despite hardly any interaction

Duracellbunnywannabe · 27/02/2022 16:17

Ring your GP and ask for a referral to audiology. SaLT will probably request it but if you it now you will be further up the list.

MangshorJhol · 27/02/2022 16:23

I don’t want to alarm you and he may catch up but I would be pushing and pushing for referrals. If he’s 3 and can’t follow commands (possible hearing issue?) and has no words then he really needs to be seen.
Can you get some private SLT maybe even an evaluation?
He’ll be fine at nursery, they are used to seeing a wide spectrum of kids. And don’t worry about being a good or a bad mum. Plenty of kids grow up in neglectful households and meet milestones. Your boy possibly needs some extra input and the earlier the intervention the better.

Hmum0three · 27/02/2022 16:29

My little girl started at 2 years 4 months due to being delayed

Best advice is pick a nursery you love and feel 100% comfortable with, make sure you speak to them about your concerns and ask for regular updates.

Start with mornings if you can, we did 2 mornings for 11 months then went to 2 full days, sadly the nursery closed down through covid, we had to find another one quickly she was only at the new place for 6 months but I was never comfortable with it and they even took her out on a walk twice when I told them not to and didn't sign the forms to give permission

JennyWI · 27/02/2022 21:34

Relax!!! your child will do great. If he doesn't talk yet, Hes gone to find a way soon. I've had children who start nursery that don't talk who become chatterboxes fast. Even if he doesn't, he will learn another way to communicate (sign, ect). PLEASE though, let your nursery know you are feeling worried and him not talking is a worry to you. If you express your feelings and concerns, the key person for your child can help make you feel at ease, and will make sure to communicate with you about these topics. Your doing great!

Violetmo0n · 03/03/2022 14:40

This was my son when he started, but he was younger at 2.
It's done him the world of good, in every aspect.
I had the same worries as you, and he has totally surprised me. It's amazing what they can pick up from the other kids.

I would push on your at HV though.

thetombliboo · 03/03/2022 23:37

Hi peaches, I wonder if you could make some little cards for your son. PEC (picture exchange cards) can really help. Laminate and hole punch them for a little on the go keyring? If he can use these to communicate with you maybe you could attach to his bag and use them with nursery too.
Could you look at introducing makaton as a communication aid for him? There are many things on YouTube for some basic signs for you to be able to communicate with each other better.
I hope your boy is okay at nursery

I've actually just googled pecs card keyrings and many hve come up on eBay and Etsy to pre buy or you can use that example and make your own with pictures (great for mum card etc). Start by associating card with the action - eg juice, say juice, show the juice card, give the juice. Then when he asks for juice ask him to show you the card.
Then this will hopefully work when you want him to follow your simple commands, coat and shoes for example.
Hope this helps x

3 year old starting nursery… why am I so worried!!!

Emilyplays84 · 19/07/2023 13:13

@peaches36 I know this post is old but how did your son get on? I found this post when having the exact same worries about my little boy. He sounds exactly like yours was.

Shannonnn1 · 17/11/2023 21:45

Hi, my little girl starts nursery in January when she turns 3 and I’m worrying so much aswell all the same worries as you doesn’t listen to much commands or talk much and can’t use cutlery very well or eat anything people give her just so fussy with things can I ask how your little boy is getting on now please since starting nursery and being there for a while now

thanks xx

Flip