Tips please! 3 year old suddenly crying at nursery

[Elopelo]

3 year old DS started nursery beginning of January attends 15 hours spread over 4 days. Had two settling in days in November which went well. First two weeks of this term were also very good, he was so excited at drop off, ran in without saying bye and was actually upset to come home. Staff were all happy with how he settled in.

After that, the nursery had to close due to Covid outbreak amongst staff for 2 weeks which brings us to this week:

Monday drop off: fine no issues
Monday pick up: key worker said he had a grumpy day

Tuesday drop off: subdued and quiet
Tuesday pick up: another grumpy day

Wednesday and Thursday: Tears and screams as soon as the nursery door opens, I’ve had to actually go in and sit with him for 15-20 minutes. He totally clings on to me, loudest screams I’ve heard in a while, he just wants to go home and doesn’t want to stay in nursery and doesn’t like the teachers (all his words).

After about 5 minutes of holding on to me, he slowly starts mixing with other kids and his key worker really makes a tremendous effort in trying to cheer him up. I can usually leave after another 10 minutes (staff tell me to sneak out while he is engaged with an activity).

When I’ve gone to pick him up the last 2 days, he is happy and tells me all about his day. According to staff when he realises I’ve gone, he’s upset but can be encouraged to play again.

I understand it’s still early days for him and most probably the 2 weeks that nursery was closed has not really helped him get used to the routine but I’m quite surprised by the sudden change. Before he actually used to cry at pick up time because he wanted to stay longer and now it’s the total opposite. I’ve asked him why he doesn’t want to go but he can’t explain properly. He is aware of his emotions and just repeats ‘I’m going to be angry/sad at nursery.’

I’ve tried to talk about nursery positively at home but I don’t know if I’m overdoing it and maybe I shouldn’t mention anything?

Another issue is his sleep (I have made many a thread on his sleep since he was a baby). He can suffer from night terrors off and on but even with the first two happy weeks his sleep wasn't great either so I don't know if there is a connection there.

What do I do? Is this a normal phase? I could understand if he hated it from day one but this is such a sudden change.

Please don’t sneak off, that’s the worse thing you could do. He will feel abandoned and overwhelmed
You need to keep drop off and goodbye short and positive
He needs to know you have left and will return later

I agree and drop and bye is best.
The hanging round especially in the room won't be helping.

He's had a lot of stop starts, he's just finding his feet still.

Thank you for your replies and advice. I agree too, it’s his key worker who asks me to come in and sit with him and she also tells me to leave when he isn’t looking. So far I’ve been following their way of dealing with it as he is my first but you’re right it’s not nice to sneak out. I would prefer just to say my goodbyes at the door.

Could they be coming down with a bug? Little ones get tired and grumpy- and fed up!

Bear not to sneak away. Cheery ‘byeee!’ Quick kiss then brisk walk away. Have a nursery worked teed up at the door for a snatch and distracts ‘oh look! The big truck has been left out - do you want to play with it? Bye bue mummy - see you at 2!’

@KittenKong yes he’s been unwell off and on since staring nursery and has been ill all weekend, looks like he won’t even be going in tomorrow.

I know it’s a big change for him and there’s so much going on and so much to get used to! I will have a word with nursery about saying bye at the door and not going on, otherwise he‘ll be expecting it every day!!