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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Do I still send my then 2 year old

20 replies

Franny0696 · 18/01/2022 08:59

So, I am currently pregnant quite early around 7 weeks, as you do mind goes into over ride about when the baby is here! I have a 16 month old who will be 2 years old when the baby will be here. She currently goes to nursery 1 1/2 days a week while I work as I work from home. On average I pay around £280 a month. My problem is when I go on maternity my money is going to half so do I send her to nursery still? Or do I pull her out so she can bond with her sibling then when I go back to work put her back in along with the other child?
It's so hard I'm not too sure what to do, my husband pays for everything regarding house etc so asking him to pay an additional £280 plus anything else I cannot pay is just not practical.

Any advise please!!!

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Eileen101 · 18/01/2022 09:03

If you can afford it, I would.

Bonding time for you and baby
Big girl time for her at nursery, and something to do that won't be interrupted by feeds/nappies.
A bit of downtime for you with just one.

We had a similar age gap and planned to keep our eldest in, but reduce from 3 days to 1.5 days to reduce the bill. But then COVID hit so it closed to non key worker children anyway

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 18/01/2022 09:04

I think this really does depend on wether you feel it's afordable. If she likes it and it won't leave you short of money i would still send her. My oldest started nursery a few weeks after my youngest arrived (school nursery) and it was great for her. It gave her her own thing to focus on and it also gave me time to give the baby my full attention that younger siblings don't always get. If it's only 1 and a 1/2 days there will be plenty time to bond. But there isn't really a right or wrong here, just whatever works for your family. Congratulations!

Poppop4 · 18/01/2022 09:06

You say it’s not practical for husband to pay but Can he actually afford to pay for your eldest to stay at nursery just one day a week?
I think the routine serves them well especially when a new sibling comes along. It’s good for you to have 1-1 time with the baby too while eldest is at nursery. Also with a toddler and a newborn at home your not going to get much sleep so on that one day eldest goes to nursery could be the day you sleep when the baby sleeps or at least rest a bit.
I know my daughter wouldn’t do well being pulled out and put back in at a later date. Others may be along with some other opinions on it though.

MindyStClaire · 18/01/2022 09:21

If you (plural, as a family) can afford it I'd keep it up. It might be very difficult to settle her back in after your leave, and she's getting to the age when the socialisation aspect really comes into its own. Plus it's very intense having two by yourself, you'll be glad of the break. 1.5 days is nothing, still plenty of time for bonding.

I left my 2yo in full time when DC2 arrived, and it worked for all of us.

mdh2020 · 18/01/2022 09:40

Definitely leave her in nursery. She needs to keep to her routine and no nothing has changed.

mdh2020 · 18/01/2022 09:41

Sorry - my daughter stayed home with me when I had my second and said it was boring. she preferred being with the childminder.

BlueSky8 · 18/01/2022 17:46

If you can afford it I would.
It will be so much easier for you all.

Toddler and new baby at home, it won't be easy for everyone. Keep her routine.

WakeUpLockie · 18/01/2022 17:48

Definitely! Nursery surely comes out of family money?

LakeShoreD · 18/01/2022 17:52

Absolutely I’d continue to send her if it’s affordable. It keeps her familiar routine, it’ll be a bit easier on you, it’s great socialisation with her peers and you also get keep the space for when you go back to work.

However, this is really weird: my husband pays for everything regarding house etc so asking him to pay an additional £280 plus anything else I cannot pay is just not practical.
Surely childcare is a joint expense??

BlueSky8 · 18/01/2022 17:55

@LakeShoreD

But then you can argue he's paying everything for the house and that should be joint?

parietal · 18/01/2022 17:58

mine went to nursery full-time even when I was on mat leave with the second - the stability was good for her, and it meant we kept the place at a nursery that we liked.

LakeShoreD · 18/01/2022 17:58

But then you can argue he's paying everything for the house and that should be joint?
Whatever their financial arrangements I still think it’s weird that OP can’t approach her DH about £280’s worth of childcare whilst she’s on mat leave. Either the family can afford it or they can’t.

Original poster

Franny0696 · 18/01/2022 18:46

I can ask my husband to pay it wouldn't be a problem it just would be a big push when he's paying for everything else. Our rules are I pay for the kids he pays for everything else but we share our money for everything else shopping etc.

We can still afford to send her it just would be a bit difficult that's all.

OP posts:

LakeShoreD · 18/01/2022 19:15

Gotcha, sorry I misunderstood! Regardless of how you arrange your finances, if you can find the money from somewhere then I would continue to send her.

Original poster

Franny0696 · 18/01/2022 19:37

@LakeShoreD definitely, I would like to keep her in nursery for sure!

OP posts:

Thegirlhasnamechanged · 19/01/2022 13:48

I’m just about to finish mat leave with my second and keeping DD (3 y/o) in nursery throughout was possibly the best thing we’ve done as parents to two children. I’d definitely recommend keeping her in if you can afford to as the 3 days DD is in nursery is a nice break for both of us and allows DS to catch up on the naps he misses due to severe FOMO when his sister is home

We kept her in too as pulling her off of the nursery books would mean she’d be at the back of the waiting list for a nursery when I am back at work and if we were going to need to pay her fees to keep her spot open, she might as well go.

Bobholll · 19/01/2022 21:34

My second was born in March 2020 & nurseries closed until June. It was HARD. I really felt like I had no time to just be with my newborn. It was still a nice time but I really missed having a few days to rest & just cuddle my baby.

I would 100% continue send your eldest. When nurseries re-opened, DD went back immediately & boy did I really make the most of the days with DD2. It was better for everyone really. DD1 need some child focused full attention, days filled with crafts & activities & messy play with her friends. She was happier for sure!

BobbleWobble1 · 23/01/2022 14:55

100% keep her in if you can afford it. DS2 is a week old and we have planned to keep DS1 in nursery. DH and I have had covid since just before I went into labour so have had to keep DS1 at home while we isolate. It's only been a week and I know how much benefit it's going to be for all of us to keep him in.

MerryMarigold · 23/01/2022 15:04

I would keep her in for consistency and to give you a break for a bit. (it's full on with a 2 year old and a baby!). You still get funding from 3 years old so you need to pay for a year. It's just one year but it will be harder for your DC to go back to it than never stopping. I'd discuss with dh. You don't need to 'tell' him but still if he could pay that year and then back to old arrangements.

GrendelsGrandma · 23/01/2022 15:32

Your child might like the baby (or she might not!) But she will find it very dull having to be quiet, not jump around etc. Essentially watching you feed, burp, settle the baby etc is immensely dull compared to running around with friends.

I find your 'I pay for the kids' set up a bit weird, fine if it works for you but in this case it doesn't. I'd look for other places to cut back first. A second time will just about double your costs for clothes etc, and your income is presumably the same.

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