3 Month old baby too young???

[Efay5]

I'm potentially looking to put my baby into Nursery at 3 months old. I'm due in July so this will be mid September time - the same time I start back at Dance college!!

I was in 2nd year when I got pregnant.
I'm looking to retake 2nd year this September.
This is Mon - Fri 8am-6pm ish
My partner works Mon - Fri full time too.

Lots of people are suggesting going NEXT September but I'll be 24 then! That's pushing it for a dancer. The college also can't hold my funding that long so I'd have to find a way to pay for it.

3 months seems very young to be putting my baby into nursery but I don't have another option. Other than say goodbye to my degree and our future.

Opinions pls!!! Good / bad experiences with putting your baby into nursery
Or just any comments will be helpful thank you !!

That was the norm 30 years ago…

My 3 did. I went back to work. Was self employed and needed to. They are now 11, 9 and 4 and they are fine!

It's also the norm in the US, where maternity leave is often very short (or non-existent).

4 months old was the norm when my teenagers were babies. Talk to the nursery - they are the ones who can help you make your decision.

Have you a nursery in mind? Will they take a baby that young ?

It will feel to young but will actually be much easier for the baby than starting at 1 - just check they have a good key person system/that it will be the same two people settling and caregiving (i.e key person and buddy key person).

Isn’t there also a question of whether you’ll be too old to be dancer when you graduate even if you go back in September? Everyone is right that three months is not unusual in some countries, but I wouldn’t want to do it for a course that I won’t be employable at the end of. How brutal is the industry?

Around here none of the nurseries would take babies that young, it would definitely be something you would need to look at as I don't think it's common to take them so young any more.

I'd also be prepared to have a Plan B as you may not want to leave baby when they are so young when the time comes. It's very easy to say when it's an obscure concept but it could be very different once baby is actually here.

If you're due in July and back to college mid September then baby will be two months old not three. And possibly six weeks old depending on whether you're late. Think carefully about your own health and recovery from the birth. DS1 was an emergency section at 42+1 so I would have still been bleeding and crying the whole time.

Also if 24 is too old to be at college studying dance, how does it work that you'd be 25 when you graduated? What would you then do with your training if you're already too old? (Not judging, just curiosity prompted by your own words)

Some nurseries don't take them before 6m but you'll probably be able to find one that does.

Tbh though I'm thinking the se as Moancup: if 24 is past it for a dancer then why are you selling out £££ on a degree in that subject? I'd drop out and pick something with a better financial return.

Three months is very young. I wouldn’t do it.

In my view it’s not the best thing for your baby - but that has to be balanced with your life plans, your happiness and how that affects how you provide for and interact with your child. If there are practical ways to avoid it then I would, but if not then you just need to do what you need to.

I don’t usually give opinions on this kind of thing as it's very much your baby, your choices, imo, but 3 months old is very young. I wouldn’t and couldn't, personally.

I hope you find a balance that suits you

DS went to nursery full time from 7.5 months out of necessity and it was fine. I didn't enjoy maternity leave whatsoever and would happily have gone back to work sooner, but felt what I now believe to have been misplaced guilt about doing so. If I had wanted to send him earlier, our nursery takes babies from as young as 8 weeks. It's becoming more common again to have people at both ends of the spectrum.

Personally I’d prefer a childminder for a young baby but I know that’s not always an option. Both of mine went to a childminder until they were about 2 and then to nursery. You can get a list of registered childminders from your local council and depending on the childminder they can sometimes be more flexible too.

I'd be concerned that if you had to have surgery you might not feel up to dancing much after 3 months but I don't know how easy that would be to work around.

Your baby will be fine @Efay5. A baby of that age settles much better in nursery than an older baby will. So long as your baby's needs are met, they will be fine.

I'd not do it - 3 months is so tiny, and so dependent on you. If there's no choice financially then I understand, but it sounds like that isn't the issue.

It's hard to imagine it before you become a mother, but the overwhelming love you will (likely) feel for this tiny creature will hit like a ton of bricks. You'd have needed a general anesthetic and a crowbar to part me from DS at that age.

At 23 you're already too old really to become a successful professional dancer - unless you're planning to use your qualification to teach? If the latter, then surely an extra year won't matter?

Oh and I think 3 months will go quicker than you think so I'd have a standby plan for if you do feel they are too small when the time comes

I forgot to add - 3 month old babies don't sleep well (generally speaking). Dance is incredibly tough on your body, even without a recent pregnancy you're likely to experience frequent injuries and fatigue. Pregnancy also means your body will be full of relaxin, which loosens your muscles and ligaments (for giving birth) but puts you at greater risk of injury whilst pregnant and in the 6 months afterwards.

Fine. I'd probably look for a childminder though as most are only allowed 1 under 1 and 3 under 3 so likely will be the only baby

The baby has barely learned that they are separate from you at that age. It will potentially feel (to you as well as to your little one) as if a part of your body is missing. I wouldn't have been able to do this- much less full time. Could you consider a different career? Something more family friendly for the time being at least?

If you're due in July your baby will be two months old in mid-September..... I suspect you won't find a nursery that takes that young tbh. Can the father take time off - you can share up to a years leave between you.

But yes why are you spending money on a degree that only gives you a year of work? Plus if you've had a section you may not be physically able to train in September.

but I'll be 24 then! That's pushing it for a dancer

But you won’t graduate until you’re 25, even now. If 24 is too old then your dancing career has already ended, surely?

I think it’s fine if there’s no way around it. But I wouldn’t have wanted to do it. And I think it’s more the question of whether, 3 months post partum, you will physically be able to do it. I could have done it with 1 of mine, possibly 2, but not a hope for 1 of them.