Should I change nursery?

[Cluuish14]

My 21m DS has been going to nursery 2 mornings a week, since September.
I do not work so it's not a need, it just for him. We believe it will help his social skills, development and build his immunity.

It's a Montessori nursery so I have high expectations, as it prides itself on teaching independence and self care.

However I'm starting to get a bit frustrated:

1. My DS has dried food on his face and in his hair, everytime I pick him up. Which possibly caused an eye infection after one session. Annoys me as he will happily clean his own face if prompted.

1. When he started, there were 10 toddlers in his room, there are now 21. Its still 1to3ratio, but how can they possibly teach self care with so many children to cater for.

1. He is a fussy eater at home and only has an appetite for sweet food. However at nursery they tell me he eats really well, finishing his meal, and eats a variety of foods. Are they lieing?

He does seem to enjoy nursery, always eager to go in and sad to leave. And he is shattered when he gets home and sleeps all afternoon.

Are these issues normal? Am I being picky? Should I raise my concerns to them?

Do you have any parent meetings?
I raised food concerns and we discussed in detail.

The clean face thing is impossible- it’s a given that kids will leave nursery grubby. I’ve given up on that point. 😂

As long as the 1to3 ratio is being upheld they should still be able to teach skills. Your child’s key worker will work with them.

Its very normal for kids to eat things at nursery that they won't at home. They are watching their peers eat and so they all copy each other. I doubt they are lying to you. They are keeping the 1:3 ratio so surely they are giving the children the same amount of attention??

You're being ridiculously picky and will do yourself no favours by complaining about those issues.

I frequently find my son eats much better at nursery than at home. Like previously said, this is because he's copying his peers. They can't be cleaning every inch of food off him with that amount of children to cater for so cut them some slack. As long as they have staff and physical foot print they can have as many children as they want!

If ratio is 1:3 , the number of children wont make any difference to regards to care, as there will be more staff

1. My DS has dried food on his face and in his hair, everytime I pick him up. Which possibly caused an eye infection after one session. Annoys me as he will happily clean his own face if prompted.
Children get dirty at nursery 🤷🏼‍♀️ Struggling to see the link with the eye infection, or Drs would be literally inundated with babies during baby led weaning.

2. When he started, there were 10 toddlers in his room, there are now 21. Its still 1to3ratio, but how can they possibly teach self care with so many children to cater for.
There's no logic behind your thinking when you say that the ratios are still the same.

3. He is a fussy eater at home and only has an appetite for sweet food. However at nursery they tell me he eats really well, finishing his meal, and eats a variety of foods. Are they lieing?
Strange that your first assumption is that they're lying. How would it benefit them? It's actually very common for children to mimic their peers. DS eats all sorts at nursery that he won't eat at home.

Agree with all the other posters...you're being picky and I think you'll struggle to find a nursery that doesn't have these 'issues'.

Food on face? Normal. My sons nursery does lots of messy play and although for the most part I pick him up relatively clean, I can always tell what he's been playing with by what's in his hair or on the clothes he's been changed out of. But he's having fun and probably learning lots

As with PP, your logic doesn't make sense to say they won't be able to teach self care. If ratios are being adhered to then it won't make a difference if there are 10 or 50 toddlers-the care and attention is the same.

My DS eats things he would never try at nursery. He also goes to sleep more easily at nap time. It's extremely common as they just want to copy their peers. I have even replicated meals I know he's eaten at nursery only for him to reject them outright at home. It's frustrating but very common.

I wouldn’t be happy with this. A bit of grubbiness (dirt on trousers from playing out, paint on arm from painting) is normal and to be expected. Covered in dried food all over face and hair isn’t acceptable for me. Every nursery I’ve worked at, we would wash the children/encourage them to wash after eating, not just leave them covered in dried food.

The eating is another story. I’ve lost count of the amount of parents who review the menu, tell me their child doesn’t eat curry, then I’ll watch that same child put their hand up asking for seconds of curry. Often when they watch their friends they want to do the same.

Rather than pull him out, I would just mention it to the workers. ‘Oh I’ve put some wet wipes/flannels in his backpack - please can you help him or tell him to wash his face after he has his dinner.’

Also, with the sweet food, it might be because he knows you’ll give him it. I don’t mean that rudely, but at nursery they know if they don’t eat their dinner Nutella on toast/cupcakes/jam sarnies/pop tarts won’t suddenly appear instead. So they’re more likely to eat it than hold out for a sweeter alternative!

1. Dried food not wiped off is bad. It's a basic part of care that they can't do.

1. It's fairly normal so staff are probably not lying.

1. Over the last nearly 30 years I've worked in all sizes of room. When you get to a certain amount of children you can't treat them as much like individuals compared with a smaller number. Asking them to go line up at the door for example. 10 children you could ask them to do it by name. Over 20 and by the time you've gone through everyone the ones you ask first have lost concentration and have wandered off. You end up herding them as a group.

I would not consider more than 12 babies (0-2) in a room, 16 toddlers (2-3), or over 32ish preschoolers (3+).

I'd talk to the manager about number 1, and investigate number 2. How many on what days? What is their maximum? What is the next room like? etc.

Marks on clothes and general grubby appearance is fine but dried food on the face is basic hygiene and I wouldn't be happy with this. It suggests there aren't enough staff.

It is possible that he's eating more and differently in that environment.

I agree they can't encourage self care with too many kids as it may require sitting next to an individual and coaxing or encouraging them to do something. That just won't happen if they don't have the staff.

How do you know there are 21 in each day?
I work in a nursery and I’m sure our parents have no idea of our daily numbers and can’t see how they would know

My children are very fussy and I struggle to get them to eat but they eat everything at nursery. I think it’s quite common, more peer pressure everyone else is eating so I will too.

As long as the ratio of 1-3 is kept I wouldn’t mind the total numbers increasing. That ensures there is enough staff to provide good care.

My kids come home with food / paint / glitter etc, they can’t be 100% at getting it off multiple kids as it would take ages. As long as it’s a decent job I wouldn’t mind

1. Normal so long as it's just a bit and he's not absolutely filthy. We use it as a barometer - the more disgusting the child, the more fun the day has been. Eye infections are very common at nursery, he probably didn't get it from the food.

1. There are limits in terms of both ratios and square footage. Bigger groups can allow for more activities, it wouldn't bother me unless he was overawed by the bigger group.

1. Very very typical. My kids have a great diet and it's 95% down to nursery. We don't get half of the veg into them that nursery do.